Gods, it still stings to think about them. Why can’t I let go? “Did you know they refuse to talk to me nowadays?”
“Yeah, Mom told me. She’s so pissed off about it. I guess she wanted to go tell your dad off, but Kellan talked her down off that ledge. Said that you were the kind of girl who liked to fight her own battles.”
This surprises me. “He did?”
“You were off on a mission, and Jonah had come over for dinner because Mom fears he’ll starve when he’s alone, or worse yet, eat junk food that will,”—she mimics her mother’s tone and accent—“reduce the quality of his life.” She chuckles. “Anyway, Mom knew that your dad was banging the Jens Belladonna drum, and she asked J about it. He told her—well, not really told, because you know that getting information out of that boy is damn near impossible at times—but mentioned that you two had a dispute with your folks, and that there wasn’t much communication going on. Mom drug the rest of the story out of Kel when J left.” She chuckles. “She’s a dog with a bone, you know. Wanted to go and spank your dad and all. Knowing Mom, she probably still will.”
It’s so unattractive, but I’m even more jealous than before. “She’s protective of you guys. Like I said. You’re lucky.”
She sighs through her nose. “Sure, she was mad your dad was hating on Jonah. But, Chloe—she wanted to go to war because of you.”
My eyes widen and then sting. Must not cry. Not in public. Not in front of Callie.
“Mom already thinks of you like you’re one of her own.” Callie tucks an arm through mine. “Some Magicals are barren, unfortunately. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen all the same. That’s Mom.” She steers us toward a luxe store that I never, ever would’ve thought of stepping into before today. “But she’s got a mother’s heart. She took care of me and those boys when nobody else gave a damn. Loved us, nurtured us, and protected us. None of us share her blood, but it doesn’t matter. She’s our mother all the same. And you . . . she loves you, too, Chloe.”
Please gods, do not let me break down sobbing in this store. “It’s because she doesn’t know how awful I am, how I’m tearing Jonah and Kellan apart.”
Callie positions us in front of a rack of dresses, effectively hiding me from the salesgirls. “Sure she does. She doesn’t blame you. She knows this isn’t your fault. It’s not like on the day they were passing out Connections, you decided to hog two for yourself because you’re a greedy bitch.”
But what would Astrid think, knowing I cheated on Jonah? “Still. They hurt because of me. They fight because of me. I break their hearts every day.” My carefully nurtured control is rapidly unraveling, forcing me to sniffle unattractively. “I don’t know how I can do this anymore.”
My truth is out there at last.
Callie whips out a tissue for me. Like her mom, she’s always prepared. I blow my nose and wipe at my eyes. Goddammit, I’m actually crying.
“Can I help you?”
The salesgirl looks both annoyed and concerned. Callie doesn’t even bat an eyelash when she answers. “She’s distraught that you guys don’t have the latest collection in here. Where are we? Podunk? For Christ’s sake, we’re in New York. Go over to your desk and get on the phone. I want the green bias in silk in a size . . .” She pauses, looks me over. “Two.” When the girl doesn’t move, she barks, “Am I speaking to myself?”
The salesgirl scurries away.
The Lotus ladies own a pretty amazing condo in Manhattan that’s within spitting distance of a number of famous eateries. I don’t go to any of them, nor does Callie urge me to eat. She orders Chinese for herself and we settle in for the night, rather than going out exploring.
“There’s always time to explore New York,” she tells me, dipping her egg roll into a special sauce she claims only can be found at the restaurant she ordered from. “We can come back any time. Or, you know—you and J can come back and stay here whenever you like. I’m surprised Mom hasn’t shoved a copy of each of her keys at you guys yet.”
I think of the keys I had to leave on the entryway table as I left my parents’ months back. Did they throw them in a drawer? Give them to someone else?
I tug a chenille blanket over my lap and snuggle down into the luxurious leather couch eerily similar to the one in Kellan’s living room. “Did you decorate this place?”
“This is an Astrid Lotus special.” She swallows a bite of noodles. “Ah. You’re thinking of Kel’s place, no? That was my attempt at interior design. Tryin’ to live up to Mom and all. I think I did okay. It’s very Kellan, right?”
Not at all. “Yes.”
“Liar.” She laughs. “It’s basically a knock-off of this apartment. He likes it here, even though he rarely comes anymore.” She picks up another egg roll with her chopsticks. “Can I be honest with you?”