“I was locked in a building that second time,” Kellan hisses. “For all you know, they could have been coming after me and Jonah then, too. It’s not like we endeared ourselves after we tortured them that first meet and greet.”
I’m blown away—not so much by the fact that the Guard wants me to be a goat tied on a rope, waiting to be a dino’s snack, but because Kellan is publically going after someone for daring to put me in harm’s way. Which is exactly what I chewed Jonah out for. And I’m still not down with him—or anyone—fighting my battles for me.
“What would I have to do?” I ask before Zthane can counter Kellan. “If I agree to this?”
Kellan finally looks at me, astonished. Beyond furious.
“Well,” Zthane says, clearly relieved to switch his focus to me, “we’d take you to a location and make your presence known. A team would accompany you and be watching at all times.”
Kellan is nearly apoplectic, he’s so livid.
“The goal of the mission would be to either imprison the group, like we did here in Annar, or follow them and discover their home base. Either way, it would be a win-win situation for us. Any intelligence we can gather on these things can only help us.”
“Plus, it would give us a chance to try out multiple crafts on them that maybe haven’t had a shot before,” Karl adds. “As of right now, there aren’t a whole lot of us that are truly effective. Non weapons are pointless. We need to do some test runs on what mixture of crafts will serve us best in battle.”
“I was thinking of asking Jonah to come along, anyway,” Zthane says to Kellan. “The two of you have always been some of our most effective weapons against these monsters.”
Kellan snaps, “If you think he—”
“I’ll do it.”
All eyes turn to me.
But mine look up at Micah and Penny. “Too many people have died because of these things. I’ll do it. It’s my choice, after all. My decision,” I stress. “No one else’s.”
Zthane’s exhale is pure relief. Kellan gives me one last look filled with disapproval, before going back to ignoring me for the rest of the meeting.
He tracks me down afterwards, though. I’m not even five feet from the Guard HQ entrance when he grabs my arm. “What was that in there, C?”
“That was exactly what I was going to ask you.” I yank my arm away, even though it feels so good to have contact once more. “Why is it that you and Jonah think I’m so helpless?”
He has the nerve to pretend to be confused, which only pisses me off. “I’ve never once thought you helpless.”
“You argued that I was too . . . I don’t know, fragile to do this small job!”
“Small? That’s what you think this is?” He herds me to a nearby café and motions for me to sit down. I cross my arms as he drags a chair over so we’re sitting next to one another. “I’m sorry if you misconstrued my meaning in there. I most certainly do not think you’re incapable of any assignment.”
“Really.”
“Stop being a brat about this. Yes, really. But what Zthane is asking of you is dangerous. That’s what I object to.”
It’s the opening I’ve been waiting for. “Well then. Since we’re voicing our objections over dangerous activities, I vehemently object to your belt.”
He’s exasperated. “I’m serious, Chloe.”
“As am I. It makes me . . .” I can’t even think of a good enough word to describe my feelings over this, so the word I pick is inferior to how I truly feel. “Sick to know that you keep track of how many times you break yourself into pieces.”
“These are two different sets of circumstances. Can we—”
“Is it? Because I’m pretty sure that me, on a mission to help Magical kind, surrounded by an entire team of gifted Guard, is a far safer bet than you jumping out of planes or bridges just for the sole purpose of smashing bones.” I motion to his belt, which is obscured by his plaid button down. I hate that damn belt. “And you mark them. Like they’re somehow badges of honor.”
He takes a deep breath. Runs his hands through his hair. Drums his fingers against the table. “We’re not talking about that right now. We’re talking about the mission you just agreed to.”
I refuse to let him switch subjects. I’ve been silent on this for too long, afraid to piss him off, but I’m done with that. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Kellan. It’s not healthy.”
He closes his eyes for a long moment. They’re starkly honest when he opens them. “If I stop, will you promise not to go on this mission?”
It is so, so tempting to say yes. But, “No. You know this is too important. If I can help stop these things from killing our kind, then I have to try.” I reach across and lay my hand on top of his. He goes very still. “I beg you, though—please stop torturing yourself.” My voice drops. “There’s got to be another way for you to deal with . . .”