I think about how short life is, and how it always moves in unexpected directions. How, even with the most careful planning, it will still throw curveball after curveball. How fragile it is, how easily it can be lost. How it ought to be cherished at every moment. How happiness should be held onto tightly, because one never knows when it will leave you behind.
That night in our apartment, as Jonah nods off in my arms, mission dossiers scattered all around him and forgotten in his exhaustion as I watch the remnants of a movie, I twist my fingers in his hair—a little shorter than normal today, after a hair stylist went overboard and cut too much—and think: what I feel about this man is more than just love. It is forever.
It’s family dinner night. Despite some initial squabbles about safety, and finally caving and allowing a team of Guard to come and watch over us while we dine, a group of us go out to a restaurant. I love this family of mine, even when they’re bickering like they are now. Will and Callie are once more adorably sniping at one another, this time about ... wine? I can’t help but giggle. Their sexual tension is off the charts. I wonder if they’ve kissed any more. I hope they have.
I make a small motion under the table, my finger drawing a line between them. “Am I wrong about this?” I whisper to Jonah.
He takes a sip of his water, as we are still wineless, the corners of his mouth curving upward. My heart skips a beat, and then another when his dimple appears. We are surrounded by my family, yes—but he is my family. He is more than that.
I want to marry him something fierce. I want to marry him now—not in some distant, intangible future that may or may not come, but now. Is that irrational? An overreaction based on the craziness of our lives and situations? I don’t know. All I know is that it’s a truth my heart knows.
Everything goes fuzzy around me as we stare at each other in the middle of this crowded restaurant. His eyes are darkening, and I wonder, can he hear my heart right now? My desires?
Our fingers knot together and I’m dizzy and—
“How is work going?” Astrid is asking Kellan.
And I remember we’re not alone.
Kellan’s on the other side of Callie, trying desperately not to roll his eyes at the two of them. “Fine, I guess.” He glances over at Jonah and me; I hate to think that he’s probably feeling what I’m feeling right now. “I’m going on a mission soon. I should be gone for awhile.”
This is enough to draw Callie’s attention back. “Like how long?”
He smirks; it’s that lovely, half-smile of his that sends new butterflies to my stomach in a swarming frenzy. I hate that this still happens, even as my whole soul floats in blissful contentment and love thanks to the man next to me. “Long enough that, when I come back, you two will finally have picked which wine we ought to have at the table.”
“Chardonnay,” she says at the same time Will says, “Pinot Grigio.”
A passing waiter swings by our table; Cameron shakes his head, amused. The poor waiter retreats, making sure we know he’ll be ready for a drink order any time now.
“In all seriousness, where are you going?” Callie asks.
He breaks a bread stick in half. “I’m heading out with a team to help sway some of the stubborn Métis families to immigrate to Annar.”
Oh, that makes me so happy to hear.
“I suppose you’ll be busy soon, hen,” Cameron says, extracting a piece of crisped bread out of a wire basket nearby. “In your absence, the Council, alongside the Métis Council, voted to expand the plane’s dimensions by another five thousand square miles.”
Whoa. My happiness grows exponentially.
Just as Astrid pulls the waiter aside and tells him we’ll take whatever the house special is for wine tonight, I catch sight of a beautiful redhead sauntering into the restaurant with a few other giggling women.
And ... there’s goes my bubble of bliss. Because, seriously. You have got to be kidding me. I’m gone for two months, and on my second day aboveground, Sophie makes an appearance?
She’s like the plague. I cannot escape her. None of us can.
Jonah’s hand goes to my thigh immediately. And then, he must say something to Kellan, because his brother says, “Shit,” and gets out of his chair.
The smile on Sophie’s face when she sees him is so exquisite that I envy her, in a weird way. But it fades the moment Kellan grabs hold of her arm and steers her right back out of the restaurant. The women she came in with are shocked at first, but hurry out after them quickly.
“What is it with that girl?” Will asks as we all watch the door swing shut behind them. “Why does it feel like she’s always underfoot?”
Jonah doesn’t say anything. Neither do I. But damn, if it isn’t an excellent question.
“Do you think Astrid and Cameron are officially dating yet?” I muse as Jonah and I are in the bathroom, brushing our teeth before we get ready for bed. “I mean, they sat next to each other at dinner. Their chairs were so close together.”