He stared at her, moved closer. “Yes, you do.” Her butt pushed against the buttons on her seat.
Don’t cry. Don’t let him see you cry. “No, Wes. I don’t. I’m done chasing people who don’t want me. That’s why I left all of this bullshit behind.” She swung her arm out, almost clocking him in the chin as she pointed toward the house where the party could be heard. “I’m done with not being enough. I’m happy with who I am, what I’ve done with my business and the life I’ve made for myself. I do not have time for drama or smoke screens. I can’t do this.” It just didn’t make her happy anymore.
“Do what?” His voice cracked, his nostrils flared.
“Pretend I don’t feel more for you than I do. I didn’t mean to or want to. Trust me on that one. Something changed between us the night we kissed. Probably before that, for me. We can’t undo it and we can’t go back. Seeing you with her … it’s a reminder that it isn’t about chemistry or wanting with you. It’s about that internal checklist of what makes a good match for you. It’s knowing that I’m not it. I’m not enough for you. I can’t live like that again. Not even as your friend.”
Something flashed in his gaze. An intensity she hadn’t seen before. “Not enough?” The words were practically growled.
She pushed off the seat, her chest bumping into him. She started to talk but he cut her off.
“You think this is because you’re not enough?” The last two words sounded like they were ripped from his lungs.
She couldn’t stop the tears that escaped. “I am enough.” It had taken her too long to realize that to forget it now just because Wes didn’t want her the way she wanted him.
He leaned down so their noses were practically touching. “You are the opposite of not enough. You’re too fucking much. I can’t breathe anymore when I’m with you.”
Her jaw tightened even as her heart cracked. “Well, let me fix that for you. I’ll get out of your life, you’ll be able to breathe, and live happily ever after with Ana.”
With her chest heaving, breath sawing in and out, it was hard to say which of them was angrier.
“I don’t want happily ever after!” he shouted. “I want you!” He leaned closer and her hands went to his chest. “Dammit. That came out wrong.”
He wanted her? This whole fight was about how he didn’t want her. Confusion warred with her need to get away from him before he saw her sob. She was close. A few tears wouldn’t be enough to relieve this aching pressure. His forehead fell to hers as his hands gripped her hips in a way that ignited her from the inside out. The connection poured salve into the cracks he’d created in her heart.
“It isn’t because you weren’t enough, Hailey. It’s because I’m terrified you could become everything.”
She felt like she’d jumped off a high dive board in a blackout. “What?”
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered. “I’ve wanted to since I stopped kissing you that night. It’s all I can think about. You’re enough. You’re so much more than enough. I’m scared I’ll mess this up. That I’ll destroy what has become the most important relationship in my life. It’ll kill me if I do but having you think you’re not enough is worse.”
Her hands slid up around his neck, his hold on her loosened even as his body moved in, lined up with hers perfectly. “It’s okay to be scared. I can handle you scared. I just need to know I’m not the only one feeling whatever this is between us.”
His arms tightened around her waist. “You’re not.”
“Then kiss me. We’ll figure out the rest later.”
When his lips touched hers, it was like setting a match to straw. Instantaneous heat that couldn’t be slowed or contained. A fire that had finally been given the oxygen it needed to truly blaze. She dove into it, into him, willingly and without doubt. She was all in.
33
In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have driven with that much lust surging through her system. Were there laws against that kind of distraction while operating a vehicle? Wes’s hand was a welcome weight on her thigh. Wes’s hand is on my thigh. She couldn’t stop thinking about all the other places she wanted it. Her breath shuddered out.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, leaning over to kiss her shoulder. She tightened her grip on the wheel, cursing traffic in her head. “You can slow down. I’d like to get home alive.”
She shot him a glance. “Trust me, we will. I have plans for you.”
She looked back toward the road but not before she saw the way his gaze heated. His fingers pressed into the sensitive skin of her leg. “Jesus, Hailey. I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me the way you do. It’s intoxicating.”
Smiling, she put her hand on top of his, linked their fingers. “Get used to it.”
Hailey’s gaze flitted to Wes, who was staring at her. She had to ask. “You’re really not with Ana?”
“I’m not,” he said, his voice low and genuine. “I haven’t been. I agreed to go to the party with her because it seemed like a good business decision. Plus, I was trying to distract myself from wanting you. What about Seth?”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “I haven’t gone out with him since early January. I already told him I had no intention of more dates.”
“But you said…” His voice trailed off.
“I’ve been going crazy trying not to want you, Wes.”
“This changes everything,” he said quietly.
Their exit appeared; Hailey switched lanes. “I know.” Please don’t change your mind. Please.
Wes’s fingers trailed up along her neck, touching the back of her ear. “You’re beautiful.”
Doesn’t sound like his mind is changing. Nerves made her scoff. “I’m dressed like a ma?tre d’. It’s hardly the gown—”
“Don’t.” His tone was gruff. “You’re stunning. Regardless of what you’re wearing. You are the only light I see.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Is that a rented tux?” They were close to his apartment now.
“Of course not. Why?”
She grinned at his tone then focused on the road. “I just wanted to know if I needed to be careful about ripping the buttons off.”
His laugh was deep, incredibly sexy. She felt absolutely giddy. The rest of the ride felt like a dream, like it couldn’t possibly be true, but as they walked-ran to his apartment from the parking garage, it all became more real.
He emptied his pockets when he got into his place, setting his keys, wallet, and cell phone where he always did before turning to face Hailey, who stood by the door. She slowly removed her purse, hung it on the wall hook.
Wes stepped toward her and as much as she wanted him, she was no longer willing to rush. She wanted to savor. To remember every minute of all of this.
Nerves, excitement, and happiness welled inside her like dozens of lights being flicked on. He stopped in front of her, his gaze on hers, his hand coming to her shoulder. With one finger, he traced her collarbone through her plain, button-up, white dress shirt. Heat streaked under his touch, over her skin. His eyes watched the path of his finger, which he brought down the center of her shirt to the top button. His gaze flickered to hers, making her breath catch.
“This changes everything. Our friendship. We can’t go back,” he whispered.
“That’s okay.” She stepped closer. “What I want is in front of me.”
Their mouths met, eager but soft, nearly reverent. His touch was electric and Hailey suddenly knew this was different than anything she’d experienced before. Their journey from the entryway to his bedroom was a slow dance of soft touches, deep kisses. The music was their combined breaths, the swish of clothing as it fluttered to the floor. When he came down over her on his bed, he used both hands to brush her hair away from her face. She didn’t even remember it coming out from the elastic.
She reached up, stroked her hand across his cheek. There was so much feeling building inside of her—she knew what this was, for her at least. She didn’t know if it would ever be love for him, but the way he looked at her, the way she felt in this moment, it redefined everything she’d thought she’d known about the word.
“You’re so much more than enough,” he whispered. His lips grazed her forehead, her cheekbone, butterflying across the bridge of her nose to the other cheek, down to her chin. Finally, his mouth came back to hers, his lips insistent.
She wasn’t sure if she said the words out loud but they flickered in her brain on repeat. You’re everything.
* * *