I nod, take the offered juice, and drink as much of it as I can while he’s watching. “Thanks.”
He takes the glass and brings it to the kitchen. Come on, Blake. He hasn’t answered my calls or texts, and somewhere along the way my worry for him has morphed into anger.
“Why won’t you pick up your phone and—”
My phone vibrates in my hand. I check the caller ID and hit Accept.
“Blake! Oh my God, are you okay?” A shallow sob bursts from my throat.
“Shhh, Mouse, I’m okay. Are you?” There’s a tired panic to his voice that pinches my heart. “I just charged my phone and saw all the missed calls. Is it the baby?”
“I’m fine. I’m fine . . . I just want to hold you.” Another sob.
“Fuck, I want that too. I’m so sorry I didn’t get in touch sooner. Brae taking care of you?”
“Yeah, he is, but, Blake, he told me about your dad.”
Silence is followed by him clearing his throat. “You’re lucky you got the stay-at-home version. The in-your-face version is . . . unpleasant.”
“Are you okay?”
“I am. There’s so much I want to tell you, but I want to do it when you’re in my arms.”
“I’d love that.” I check the digital clock on the cable box. “What time does your flight leave?”
“That’s, uh . . . what I wanted to run by you. I’m going to stay the night and come back in the morning.”
Disappointment settles in my gut, and the baby must feel it because another tightening kick throttles my side. “Oh, really?”
“If that’s okay with you.” His words rush out, letting me know he’d put his own needs aside in favor of mine. “If you want me home, I’ll jump on the next flight.”
“No, that’s fine. Just promise me you’re okay. The hardest part is knowing you’re hurting and that I can’t be there for you.”
“I’ll be okay. I didn’t handle the news well, took off for most of the day, and now I have so many fucking questions that I don’t think I can move past all the shit I’m feeling without getting some answers.”
I have so many fucking questions that I don’t think I can move past all the shit I’m feeling without getting some answers.
The single line of truth works like a dagger to the chest. Is that what I need too? Answers that will propel me through the confusion? Help me to put the past behind me for good?
“I think that’s smart.” For both of us.
“Good, thank you, baby. I’ll be home around noon tomorrow.”
“Okay, Blake. I love you.”
“I love you too. Put Brae on the phone for me, yeah?”
I hand the phone to Braeden, who sometime during the conversation had moved to sit next to me on the couch. “He wants to talk to you.”
“Bro, what’s up?” He drops his head to the back of the couch. “I know, but it’s not my news to tell.” He regards me for a second. “That’s different. She was worried about—” He checks the display screen. “Hold on, dude, Layla’s got another call coming in. I’ll call you back from my phone.”
He hands me the phone and pulls out his own before stepping out to the patio to call Blake back, I assume.
As if on autopilot, I look down.
Unavailable.
I don’t think I can move past all the shit I’m feeling without getting some answers.
I hit Accept.
“Trip. How soon can you get to Vegas?”
He stutters. “I can be there tonight.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Eight a.m. Give me your number, and I’ll text you the place.”
“Sure, yeah . . .” He gives me the number and I program it into my phone.
“Got it.”
“Thank you, thank you, Layla. I just want a chance to explain—”
I hit End before he’s finished and mentally prepare for the answers I so desperately need.
And hope that the truth doesn’t send my world crashing down around me.
Fifteen
Blake
I haven’t been able to even look at The General since I got back from my anger-induced walkabout and opted for sitting outside rather than risking another confrontation. Although my dad seems to take the hint that I’m avoiding him and leaves me alone, my mom is oblivious.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go out to eat?” My mom is sitting with me on the back patio.
“No, Mom, I’m not that hungry.”
“You need to eat.” Her voice is so timid, just as I remember.
Before I was dragged off in the night to military school, I thought my mom and I had a special bond. I thought she was like me, hiding some secret on the inside to keep it safe while pretending to play the role of perfect wife on the outside. Boy was I wrong.