I knew by now that an evening dress was too fancy to wear even to a nice restaurant like Matsuhisa. But the thing was, having to dress so extravagant for work meant that I spent all my regular time almost exclusively in jeans and band T-shirts. Jeans, because they were comfortable, and band T-shirts, on account of Russell getting them for free at his side gig as a music freelancer for So Gay L.A., an alternative weekly.
He always asked for a small and then passed them on to me, since according to him, “I’m too fine for T-shirts. But if you are so intent on being a fashion victim, the least you can do is promote some cool bands.” If I had grown up with anyone other than my mother, Russell might have gotten on my nerves. But he had a great sense of humor, and I liked all the free T-shirts, so in the end I decided to keep him around, even past my eighteenth birthday when Nicky started allowing me to have other male friends.
I borrowed a green mini-dress for Matsuhisa from one of the waitresses who looked to be about my size.
Mini-dresses were in that year; however, I spent most of the time between putting it on and Nicky showing up at my door tugging at the skirt and wondering how I was going to sit down without showing the whole world my natural wonders.
But when we got to the restaurant, I fit right in. In fact, compared to some of the other women there, my hemline was on the long side.
Matsuhisa wasn’t elegant in an icy way like I expected. It actually had a warm atmosphere with a decor that exuded easy ambience and made me feel at home, even though I was fairly sure that Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston were sitting a couple of tables over from me and Nicky.
“You never had sake before, right?” Nicky asked. He didn’t wait for my answer before giving the waiter an order for nigori.
I don’t know why he asked in the first place. He was the one who had handed me my first glass of red wine when I was sixteen and told me to always order just one glass and sip on it throughout the evening. He then told me if he ever caught or even heard about me drinking something other than wine, then it was off to foster home—yeah, Nicky rode that foster home threat until I turned eighteen, and sometimes I wondered if he missed it.
But the day I turned twenty-one, he opened up the menu and said, “This is hella better than the foster home, huh?”
“Sure is.” I opened up my menu, too.
“I’ll order for both of us,” he said before I could even look it over.
Turning twenty-one meant I no longer had to do everything Nicky told me to for fear of losing my job. But I was used to it by now, so I closed my menu immediately.
And that turned out to be a good move because I loved everything he ordered. I had never had sushi before, and after my first bite of the spicy tuna roll, I said to him, “Everybody says the Japanese are smart, but now I believe it. Because who else would figure out how to make raw fish taste good?”
Nicky nodded. “The shit is kind of brilliant, ain’t it?”
We ate and laughed over sake and club gossip. Then we came back to the club, and had dessert in Nicky’s office along with a half bottle of port.
After that, Nicky walked me up to my apartment and asked if he could come in.
This was the first time we had ever hung out on a social level, and the sake and port had made the night so fuzzy and fun that I figured he wasn’t ready for it to end yet, either.
“You want some tea?” I asked when we got inside.
“Sure.” He was already giving the place a good once-over, probably checking for any damage that would allow him to keep my deposit if and when I ever decided to move out.
In the kitchen, I hummed as I filled up the kettle. My body felt warm from all the drinking, and I placed my hands against the cool gray metal of the pot for a second before putting it on the burner.
Suddenly Nicky was behind me.
I had not heard him come into the kitchen, but I sensed his presence now. The way he was standing there, so perfectly still, raised the hair on the back of my neck. Why was he hovering?
I turned on the burner, and after a series of clicks, blue flames appeared underneath the kettle.