“Or?”
“Or, you’re going to stop caring. Because, honestly, she makes him less interesting. You two used to gab all the way through dinner. And now you don’t, because she’s a drag on him. In the meantime, some other guy will catch your eye, someone who knows his own heart.”
“That would be nice,” I said.
“Which thing?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“The first one, of course.”
Chapter Eighteen: Can't Believe I Even Bothered to Ask
— Corey
I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom a couple of nights later, outlining a paper for my Shakespeare class.
“Callahan?” Hartley appeared in my doorway.
At the sound of his voice, my chin automatically snapped in his direction. “What’s up, Hartley?” I heard the cheer in my own voice, and felt my body lean forward.
Hell and damn. How long would it take until he stopped affecting me like this?
Hartley stepped into the room, rubbing his hands together. “Will you go somewhere with me Friday night? It would be just the two of us.”
My heart gave a little lurch of joy, before I reeled it back down to reality. I turned to my computer screen. “Sorry — I can’t. I have a game.”
“A what?” He came all the way into the room, standing between my chair and the bed.
“A game,” I repeated. “Inner tube water polo. It’s an intramural sport.”
Hartley grabbed the back of my chair and spun me around to face him. He sat down on the bed so we were eye level. “You signed up for that?” His face broke into the most beautiful smile. “That’s awesome.”
I chewed my lip, trying not to fall into that smile. “Actually, it’s a bit lame,” I said. “But I thought I’d give it a shot.”
He wouldn’t break our gaze. “Callahan, you are amazing.”
“Really?” I rolled my eyes. “I fall out of the tube a lot.”
“You…” He looked down, and shook his head. Then he nailed me with another dimpled smile, and I felt the force of it like a blow to the chest. “You worry a lot about people staring at you, right? And then you’re like, ‘oh, fuck it. I’ll just play a sport that requires me to wear a bathing suit, and get dunked every time I have possession of the ball.’” He flopped back on my bed and laughed. “The other team better watch out. They have no idea who they’re dealing with. You just kill me, Callahan.”
“Uh huh,” I said.
I started to swivel back to my computer, but Hartley sat up and caught my hand, stopping me. “Hey, what if we could hang out on Saturday instead of Friday, would that work?” His eyes were earnest, waiting. “I’d have to check something first…”
I was suddenly too conscious of our proximity, and of his hand holding mine. The air seemed to thicken between us, and his gaze locked on mine as if we were the only people in the world.
The trouble was, we weren’t.
Whatever activity Hartley had planned, I knew it wouldn’t be good for my heartache. Just the two of us, he’d promised. But that was only an illusion, wasn’t it?
Slowly, I withdrew my hand. I shook my head, and the moment was broken.
“What? Callahan, why not?”
With a shaky breath, I opted for the embarrassing truth. “I just can’t,” I whispered. “Maybe I’m an idiot, but I’m having a really hard time being your friend right now.” I swallowed. “So, maybe another time.” I leaned back in my chair.
Hartley worked his jaw for a long moment. “Okay,” he said eventually. “I see.” Then he stood up and walked out of the room.
The sound of the door closing hit me like a punch to the gut. My eyes filled, and I fought the urge to yell his name, to call him back, to tell him I was willing to go wherever it was he wanted to take me.
The hope fairy flung herself face down on the desk and then proceeded to beat her tiny fists on the surface in frustration.
For a few long minutes, I agreed with her.
Pushing Hartley away felt like a huge mistake. He’d always been a good friend to me, and throwing that away seemed foolish.
Except, it wasn’t.
I took a very deep breath. The truth was that following Hartley around like a lovesick puppy was preventing me from making other friends. And as great as Hartley was, I didn’t want to spend the whole year lapping up the scraps that were left over when Stacia was busy reapplying her lipstick.
Damn her for coming back.
No, that wasn’t really the problem.
Damn him for loving her.
I returned to my homework, but the words blurred together on the page.
On Friday night, I donned my bathing suit again and wheeled over to the swimming pool. This time I remembered to fetch a tube before ejecting from my chair.
A tiny, microscopic part of me wondered if Hartley would show up to watch my game. Intramural sports didn’t really have spectators. But hope is tricky. She sneaks up on you even in unpredictable locations.