chapter Six
Ari waited for Rafe to leave and then quickly walked down to her car. She needed to go to the hospital and see her mother. She was grateful the facility was only a few miles from her apartment because her knees were shaking and her heart was pounding and she had no business behind the wheel of a car. When she reached the parking garage, a shudder passed through her.
“You did the right thing. Just because you had one amazing dinner with the guy doesn’t mean you should sell your body to him. Okay, he makes you think that sex may not be such a bad thing, and the paycheck he’s offering is phenomenal, but that doesn’t make any of it okay. You did the right thing. You just need to focus on that and remember that you’re not for sale. You’re certainly not willing to do the kind of stuff he likes to do,” Ari lectured herself while resting her head against the steering wheel.
When she finished her pep talk, she stepped from the car and walked through the covered parking to the elevator. Never before had the thought of being alone at night bothered her, but Rafe’s warnings had stirred up a sense of unease which irritated her even more with the man.
The door opened and she stepped inside, pushing Rafe from her mind as she tried to silently rehearse what she was going to say to her mother. She hadn’t given up just yet. She’d simply have to try that much harder to work something out. There was no way she was letting go of her mom without a fight. There had to be programs available to help her take care of her mom. Heck, she’d sleep in her car if that’s what it would take.
With growing determination in each step, she walked the long hallway to her mother’s hospital room, then paused outside her door to take a long steadying breath. She couldn’t let her mom know there was anything to be worried about. Her mother had raised Ari right, now it was Ari’s turn to take care of her mom.
She slowly opened the door, then sighed with relief to see she was sleeping. It gave Ari more time to think before she had to try and make conversation. She sat in the lounge chair in the corner and waited for her mom to wake. With the lights turned off, and the rhythmic beeping of the machines, Ari didn’t last long, falling asleep without being any closer to getting answers. She didn’t stir when a nurse came in and covered her up.
*****
“Ari?”
Arianna awoke instantly at the fragile sound of her mother’s voice. It was beautiful and something she feared she’d never hear again. She couldn’t imagine living a life without her mother being a part of it.
Her father had walked out on them when she was too young to remember and it had been her mom and her ever since. She couldn’t survive without the woman who’d raised her – or at least she wouldn’t want to. Who would she share her triumphs with, and who would hold her when her heart was broken?
“I’m right here, Mom.” Ari scooted her chair next to her mother’s bed and gently gripped her hand.
“I’m glad, baby. I bet I’ve put you through too much worrying already. If I know you, and of course I do, then you’ve been chewing off your nails and stressing out since the accident. It’s my job to take care of you, and I haven’t been doing that these last six months.”
“Mom, it’s my turn to worry about you, not the other way around. I know you told me not to worry, but I can’t help it. If I wouldn’t have gone to that stupid party and then called you up in the middle of the night, you never would’ve been hurt. I know you told me to quit stressing about it, but it’s still eating me alive. I can’t say enough how sorry I am,” she sobbed as she leaned her head down and placed it on their joined hands.
“Arianna Harlow, do you know how upset I’d be with you if you hadn’t called me? I’m your mother, and it’s my job to protect you, watch out for you and ensure your safety. Just because you’re twenty-three now, doesn’t mean that you aren’t still my little girl. Don’t you know that I would die for you? There’s nothing a mother won’t do for her child.”
“But I screwed up,” Ari sobbed.
“Ah, Sweetheart, you’ve been a picture perfect child from the moment you came home in my arms the day you were born. You rarely cried, were respectful, worked hard in school, and were always the dream child. You were living your life, growing up a bit. Don’t let this one small detour put a roadblock in front of you. Live your life to the fullest and achieve your dreams, no matter what happens to me.”
“I don’t know how to do anything without you,” Ari insisted.
“Yes you do. I know this because I’m the one who raised you, and I raised you to be independent and to succeed in whatever you set out to achieve. You can and will do anything your heart desires. If something does happen to me, I forbid you mourning me for too long. That would break my heart into a million pieces. Even if I get taken from this world a little too soon, I’ll always be with you, watching out for you and making sure you’re safe. Just promise me that you’ll live!”
Ari looked at her mother’s pale face, not knowing how to respond. She couldn’t promise her mother that she’d continue living, because she couldn’t make it without her. It was the first time Ari ever remembered her mom asking something of her that she couldn’t do.
“I’m serious, Ari. I want you to live your life for you. Enough of this guilt eating you up inside. Enough of all this sadness. I need to hear some good news so please tell me how school is going?”
Guilt consumed Ari. She really didn’t want to tell her mother of her dire circumstances. What if it sent her back into the coma? On the other hand, she couldn’t lie.
“I took some time off of school. You know I can’t graduate without you sitting in the front row cheering me on. It wouldn’t be the same.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. Well, I’m awake now, and I’m just fine, no matter what those doctor’s say. You go back to school and enroll. You’re not a quitter, and I already have the frame picked out for your graduation photo. I’m so very proud of all you’ve achieved.”
“Oh, Mom,” Ari cried as she climbed up into the bed next to her. Even though her mother was still weak, she lifted her arm and began stroking Ari’s hair like she’d always done when tragedy had struck. Somehow it made everything better.
She was supposed to be caring for her mom but, as usual, it was her mother taking care of her. She didn’t care. She needed this moment to be comforted. She promised herself that in a few minutes she’d find her inner strength and help her mom get through her horrible illness.
Being in her mother’s arms was giving her what she needed to carry on over the upcoming weeks or months. She said a silent prayer as the two of them lay there silently together.
*****
Ari came through her front door and saw the flashing light on her answering machine. She tossed her purse on the couch and forced herself to casually walk to the sink and get a glass of water and then stand there while she slowly drank it. Her eyes kept straying to the blinking red light only a few feet away as impatience amassed in her.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” she lectured herself. She didn’t want to press the button, hoping for a job offer, only to find out it was just another bill collector. It was always too devastating for her when that happened.
When she deemed enough time had passed, she walked to the machine, making sure her movements weren’t too hurried. She casually sat on the couch as she lifted her pen and paper that were sitting next to the small black box, and only then did she push the button.
She wasn’t happy with herself when hope gripped her heart. It didn’t matter how much she lectured herself, she was still going to be devastated when she found out that it wasn’t her dream job offering to save her from living on the streets.
“Ms. Harlow, this is James Flander from Sunstream Electronics. We’ve gone over your application and feel you are a strong candidate for our team. Please give us a call back as soon as you get the message so we can schedule you for an interview.”
Ari barely heard the rest of the message and had to play it back twice more so she could write down the number. Her hands were shaking so badly she could barely grip the pen.
Waiting until her voice was calm and steady, Ari soon dialed Mr. Flander's number, pressed in the extension and took several deep breaths as she waited for him to come on the line.
Within minutes, she was scheduled for a job interview. Excited butterflies filled her stomach as she rushed into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. She could feel it was going to be her day. She hadn’t settled by selling her body. There had to be some kind of reward for that sacrifice.
She left the apartment thirty minutes after taking the call and climbed in her car, taking a moment to breathe deeply as her hands were shaking so badly.
“Calm down. You don’t want to blow this interview. You are smart, confident and made for this job. It was meant to be,” she told herself as she started the engine and pulled from the small complex.
Arriving in downtown San Francisco, Ari found parking with astonishing ease and made her way to the modest five story building. Sunstream Electronics provided home and business security for much of California and all across the states. It was a successful company with great benefits and job security.
The position was for an assistant, really just a glorified secretary, but she didn’t care. She could type letters all day long and take dictation down. It was a good place to work. As the elevator announced her arrival, in her mind she gave one last plug of encouragement, Chin up, shoulders back, stomach in. With that, she plastered a smile on her face and walked confidently into the room.