chapter Twenty-One
Guilt consumed Ari as she slowly opened her mother’s hospital room door. She hadn’t been to see her in two weeks. She’d gotten a cold that wouldn’t end, not enough to keep her from work, but bad enough that the hospital staff said she shouldn’t visit her mother – that her immune system was still too weak from her last surgery for her to be exposed.
The girls had wanted her to go to dinner with them since it was Friday and she had to turn them down, because seeing her mother was much more important.
She’d rushed from work, straight to the hospital, not even calling. She’d spoken to her mom enough on the phone over the past two weeks, but she just wanted to be with her in person.
Spending time with her mother was another reason why she couldn’t even think of signing any contract with Rafe. He’d made it clear that being with him was the only priority she was allowed to have.
If she was his mistress she couldn’t see her mother when she wanted to. That would never work out for her. On top of all of that, the man had her tied in so many knots that she didn’t know what was up or down anymore.
Two weeks ago when she’d awoken on the ship and found them at the docks, she hadn’t thought about anything other than escape. She’d made it from the ship without running into Rafe or any of his family members, and counted her blessings. She’d gotten as far from there as possible, and hadn’t looked back.
She was angry with herself for being disappointed at not hearing from him. It was what she wanted. She’d known he’d grow bored with the game of chasing her, and she should be shouting from the rooftops at her joy of being free. She didn’t have to worry about her weakness around him if she didn’t have to see him. It was a win-win situation.
“Ari! It’s so great to see you, darling.”
Ari jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice. She’d been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn’t even realized she’d pushed the door open all the way.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t come sooner, Mom, I feel terrible, but the doctors said I could cause you an infection,” she replied as she rushed to her mother’s bedside.
“Oh, posh. You have a life, dear, or I certainly hope you do. Young women have much more important things to do than to hang around an old woman’s bedside day and night, whether you’re sick or not.”
“There is nothing in my life that’s more important than you, Mom. Dr. Morgan said there were some complications from the surgery. He said it was an infection that turned septic, and they have to keep a very close eye on you or you could have organ failure. Why does one bad thing keep happening after another?” Ari sobbed.
She wanted to take her mother home, though she still hadn’t told her that she’d had to sell the house. She didn’t know how she was going to put her mother through that when she’d been through so much already. It was going to be a very bad day, indeed.
“I told the doctor not to tell you any of that,” Sandra said sternly.
“I’m not stupid, Mom. You should’ve been out of here weeks ago. I knew something was going on. What was he supposed to do – tell me he had a big crush on you and refused to let you leave?”
“Mmm, he is quite handsome, isn’t he?”
“Mom, this is serious!” Ari scolded.
“Oh, Ari, you mustn’t worry so much. There’s nothing we can do about any of this so I tire of constantly discussing it. Please, please tell me anything to get my mind off it. I would even be happy if you start discussing the weather, or your last meal.”
Ari looked at her mom for several seconds, how pale she looked, how much weight she’d lost. She was beyond worried about her, but her mom was right – talking about it over and over again wouldn’t help her mother heal. All she could do was give her mom what she asked for.
“I met these three wonderful women at work. They are a lot pushy, but make me smile when I think I have nothing left to smile about. They are a little crazy and I think you will adore them. Shelly, Amber and Miley are completely your type of women and like to try and find me brainless men, but they also make me laugh. I didn’t think that was something I’d ever do again after your accident.”
“Oh, Ari, I’m so happy to hear that. You have always been too serious. You studied all through high school when you should’ve taken a bit of time for a social life, then you did the same during college. I’m proud of you, as I always have been and always will be, but I want you to stop and smell the roses once in a while. I want you to have fun. Getting good grades is important, but I think you can do that with one eye closed and half your brain shut down. Having fun once in a while is just as important to good mental health.”
Ari fondly smiled at her mother’s familiar speech. She’d heard it often in her late teens when she’d chosen to stay home each weekend studying instead of going out. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to make friends. It was just that she hadn’t connected with anyone who became more important than her school work.
If she’d found something to do that was more interesting than getting lost in a favorite book, then she’d gladly have put away her reading glasses for the night and gone out on the town. Even the party that had been so detrimental to her mother, hadn’t been worth it. The entire experience had been a drag.
Rafe.
Yes, Rafe made her want to put away her books. He made her want to star in her favorite romance movie with him as the male lead. He made her want to rip off her clothes and cry out for him to take her. He frightened her, because he made her want to change everything about herself.
He was dangerous.
She needed to remember that and just stay away from the man.
“Did I lose you, darling?”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I haven’t gotten enough sleep this week, so I’m a little on the spacey side. Tell me honestly how you’re feeling today.”
“I’m feeling wonderful. I was going to call you this evening. Dr. Shepp’s last scans showed that most of the cancer was removed. He thinks he’ll be able to get the rest through chemo. I just can’t begin that treatment until this infection goes away. I may have to go in for another surgery, but you can wipe off that frown because it won’t be as bad as the last one.”
“I thought the money we got only covered the first surgery. Did we get more money?”
“I don’t know. He said not to worry about any of the red tape, that it was all taken care of. I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I know I filled out a heck of a lot of papers. There are several organizations that step in to help in cases like mine. My best guess is that one of them said yes.”
“That’s wonderful, Mom. I’ll call my boss and take Monday off work. I’m staying here with you all weekend to make sure everything goes right.”
“You most certainly will not, child. You will go insane sitting in this room all day and night. I’m going a bit insane myself.”
“You’re too weak to stop me, so it looks like it’s just you and me and a full box of Yahtzee. I’m going to run home and grab a few things, and I’ll be back in an hour. It will be just like old-times, when we had all-nighters. I would get so mad at you for making me leave my books in my bedroom, but now, those are my favorite memories.”
“How can I fight you when you’re making me all sentimental? Fine. You can stay with this old lady if you like, but be warned, I’m not against a little cheating to win each game.”
“Even cheating, I’ll kick your bootie. I love you, Mom. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I also think you’re right – I have a feeling that everything is going to work out.”
Ari leaned down and hugged her mother. Terror was seizing her heart that this could be the last weekend she ever spent with the most important person in the world to her, but with a hard swallow, she pushed the fright down.
She hated that she’d been sick so long. What if something did go wrong and these days were the last she had with her? She’d never forgive herself, even if she couldn’t help getting sick. It would still haunt her forever.
She wouldn’t allow fear to ruin her time with the woman who’d given her life – who’d always been there for her – who was her best friend. She couldn’t change the past, all she could do was make sure their present was as perfect as possible.
She quickly ran to her apartment and gathered a couple changes of clothes, then stopped in at a local store and picked up a few games. Of course, she snuck in a couple books, just in case her mother got too tired and fell asleep for a while. She wasn’t leaving her side all weekend.
If it truly was their last few nights together, she needed to pile on the memories. Losing her mom would be worse than anything she could imagine. The world would simply stop spinning. There just wouldn’t be a reason to go on for her. She’d smile and lie to her mom, telling her it would all be okay, but Ari knew if her mom died, it wouldn’t be okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.