I stand, frozen. The last time I saw him, his arms were wrapped around me and he was begging me not to go.
The man next to me pushes so hard into my side, I fall forward onto a woman in front of me, causing her to yelp. My hands hit the pavement to prevent myself from a complete fall. I rub the tiny pebbles, from the blacktop that has indented into my palms, on my pants as Lisa pulls me up by my shoulders, erecting me into position.
“Thanks.” My voice is shaking as I push my wayward hair off my face. The woman in front of me gives me a nasty look as I offer my hushed apologies. The man next to me is now far in front of the crowd. I hope body checking me was worth it.
It’s at this moment I notice the crowd is eerily quiet, all looking up waiting for the man at the podium to speak.
I look up myself and see why he’s not speaking.
He’s staring.
At me.
Golden eyes hit me like a Mack truck and I instinctively grab hold of my stomach to keep it from falling apart. I stand here like a deer in headlights just waiting to get run over.
His mouth opens slightly, the sides tentatively curve up before they clench down. His lips purse as molars rub together, a look of pure disgust on his face. It all happens in a flash. The look he gives me, the change in his expression and then he turns his attention back to the mayor, offering him a full, boisterous smile.
I’ve thought about what it would be like to see him again. I daydreamed about what I’d do. I’ve imagined everything from kicking him in the balls to screaming to pretending I don’t know who he is.
What I wasn’t planning on was him being angry to see me and for me to be so utterly devastated by the look he’d give me.
I stand and wait for Asher to make his speech. When he does, I try to listen but my mind is a scrambled mess.
“The Asher Foundation has been a cause near and dear to my heart for some time now. Over the years, with the help of the great city of New York, we have raised millions of dollars for children’s charities. Today is the culmination of our efforts.”
Looking about the crowd as he speaks, his tone is jovial and kind yet his hands are on each side of the podium, holding on with white knuckles as if to ground himself from being swept away from the current.
“Where do you think he’s been?” Lisa whispers in Crystal’s ear.
I know exactly where he’s been. Cruising the Mediterranean with an urn full of ashes and a bed full of women.
“I don’t know but he looks amazing.” Crystal sighs all too appreciatively for my taste. I can’t believe these two know who my Asher is.
My Asher.
Ugh. I have to get out of this city.
When his speech is done, Asher and the mayor shake hands and pose for a photograph. They then make their way off the stage and talk to a media outlet that is positioned to the side ready to interview them.
No sooner is the ceremony over, I am pushing past the crowd toward the front door of the school. I need to get inside and away from him. Why is he here? Why am I so confused about how I feel about him being here?
I should be mad. I should be angry. Instead, I am so damn muddled I need to get my head on straight.
I am almost at the door when a strong hand grabs hold of me and pulls me in the opposite direction. I lurch back and am swung around to come face-to-face with eyes so dark they’ve lost their golden touch.
“What are you doing here?” Asher’s voice is harsh; that full mouth is in a hard line. Using his body as a shield, he pushes me into the corner where our building meets the one next to it.
I blink in disbelief. Pulling my arm back, I try to get loose but he tugs harder.
“I work here.” My face contorts as I try to get away from him. Anyone looking at us would think we are just talking rather closely. He is keeping his hold on me hidden.