I rise to my feet and pace about the room. Asher isn’t Asher. Well, he’s Asher but that’s his last name. Why would he lie to me? Why would he let me believe the boat was his and that he worked for Devon? He lied. Didn’t he?
I backtrack to every conversation trying to remember if he actually lied or if I just believed Devon owned the boat and Asher worked for him. No, he told me he was Devon’s bodyguard, right?
Think, Emma, think.
His parents were poor and then they died. He went to live with his grandfather who doesn’t let him wear flip-flops. He didn’t own a dog because he was too poor growing up, too rich as an adult.
How can I be such an idiot?
He plays the cello and the piano. The music room is his. That’s why he was never worried about Devon.
I’m not an idiot, I’m a moron.
My hands fall over my head at the thought of him playing me like that. Did he want me to believe he was the lowly boathand?
I bet his parents aren’t even dead. He was never poor growing up. He’s a rich asshole who made up a depressing story about his broken life so I’d fall like a ton of bricks. And I did.
I fell.
And I felt.
This time it’s my turn to be sick.
I run into the bathroom and throw up. I opened up to him. Told him my secrets, my fears. For months I’ve been too numb to talk about anything. Not Parker, not the accident, not my hand, and certainly not Luke. In three days I talked about all of it.
Did I open up to my very expensive psychiatrist? NO.
Did I open up to my caring family who have done nothing but dote on me while I was sick in the head? NO.
Did I open up to a psychopath con artist who creates false lives to lure women into his web of lies?
Hurl.
“Don’t do this. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Leah’s hand rubs my back this time. “I shouldn’t have said anything. We’re leaving here soon. It won’t make a difference who your Italian hookup was. Emma, please, don’t make yourself sick over this.”
Leah’s voice is a plea. A sad one. One I’ve heard before.
I lift my head and wipe my mouth, taking the same routine Leah did before. After my teeth are brushed I walk over to the bed and cross my legs. The iPad is still on the bed but I push it to the side, thankful the screen is black.
I promised myself I wouldn’t be this girl. The girl who makes everyone worry. I’m not her anymore. I can go fast now. I can say Luke’s name. And I can feel the music again.
The night Parker dumped me, Luke said something I’ll never forget. “Never let a man believe he broke you, because a diamond can not be destroyed.” I agreed with him. It’s probably why I was able to get over Parker so easily. It is also why I’ll be able to forget Asher.
Leah is sitting next to me, waiting for me to say something, make a move. Today is Luke’s birthday. We planned on celebrating it together and that is exactly what we’ll do. I’ll worry about this Alexander Asher nonsense tomorrow. Today is about me and Leah.
“Get dressed. We’re going out.”
I toss and turn all night.
Leah and I went out to dinner but took it easy on the alcohol. Her stomach was still too sensitive and my heart was too fragile. We didn’t talk about Asher. Instead we spoke about Luke. Leah was so happy to be able to mention him around me and tell stories without my falling apart. Hearing her talk about him reminded me how close the two of them were too. I was a fool to think his death only affected me.
When we get back to the room, Leah collapses on the bed, exhausted from a day of being sick. My mind is revving a million thoughts a second. I can’t sleep and I don’t even try. Instead, I hop on Leah’s iPad and google Alexander Asher.