Reckless Abandon

Triple check.

Yes, it has been the worst year of my life and we’re only halfway through it. I’ve been so anesthetized and empty that my family pushed their own grieving aside to make sure I’m okay. All they want to do is talk, when it’s the last thing I need. That, and have them worry about me. They worry too much.

I shake off the thought and brush away Leah’s concerns. “It’s fine. I’m using my left hand. Keep going. This should be the last set of stairs and then our hotel is on the left.”

With a nod, Leah continues up, me following, until we reach a road. Sure enough, our hotel is just to the left. I have never been more excited to see a hotel in my life.

I love vacations, don’t get me wrong. But for the amount of travel and manual labor it just took to get us here, this better be the best vacation of my life. At least I hope it is. Leah gave up a lot for us to experience this together.

We enter the sliding glass doors of the Villa Marina Capri and a lovely receptionist who speaks perfect English greets us. She takes our passports to make copies, as per Italian custom, and when she returns them she escorts us to an outdoor waiting area while our room is readied.

I’m a bit unsure about leaving my bag. Ever since my luggage was stolen on a college trip to Cancún, I refuse to let other people handle my belongings. After Leah assures me this five-star resort is a far cry from that rum-soaked Mexican hotel, I concede, but only after making sure my purse, along with my money and valuables, is with me.

Leah just laughs at my one OCD trait and heads outside with me.

“Oh my God.” The words escape my mouth.

“Oh my God is right.” Leah repeats, sliding her sunglasses up her perfect button nose.

The two of us stand in awe, gawking over the incredible sight before us. If I thought the view coming into port was phenomenal, I was mistaken. This is the most incredible view I have ever seen in my life.

Standing about a third up the mountain, the island below us, and the sea beyond it, is the true answer of why God created the earth. So we can marvel at its beauty.

The afternoon sun is shining bright. The sky is a perfect shade of blue with a few stray clouds. The whiteness of them only illuminates the color of the sky. The rooftops below are a gorgeous copper color and the sea is all but breathtaking.

With a slight breeze in the air, Leah’s hair blows away from her cheek. Looking over at her, I see a look of melancholy on her face. A look so un-Leah, it makes my stomach drop.

“I knew this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t be here. Adam . . .” The words choke in my throat.

“Adam is the most amazing man in the world.” She finishes my sentence for me. It’s not what I was going to say, but she’s right. Leah’s fiancé, Adam Reingold, is by far the most caring, understanding, and perfect man in the world. He is the kind of guy you want your sister to marry. It’s exactly why I feel awful being the one standing here with her and not him.

Leah gives me this knowing look that she’s been giving me a lot lately, followed by a hug. “Stop it. We’re here and this is happening. This week is about you and me. We are going to have the most spectacular vacation of our lives and I don’t want you feeling bad for one second. You hear me?” She holds me tighter and I return her embrace.

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