Reckless Abandon

Her chin rises in indignation. “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life.”


Malory walks past me and then Alexander, her eyes straight ahead. That confidence she carries is held high. She has no shame for what she has done here tonight.

When the door is closed and Malory is gone, I turn to Alexander who is still furious. “Please tell me you don’t believe her.”

“I don’t know what to believe.”

I take a deep breath and try not to cry at the knife he just rammed into my heart. “She told me about your grandfather’s will.” No sooner are the words out of my mouth than he is spitting foul words out of his.

Alexander walks over to the mantel, lifts a heavy glass figure and smashes it onto the floor. His back is heaving as he takes exasperated breaths to try to control himself. It’s not working.

“Your grandfather hated your father. He wants you to drop your father’s name. If you sign those papers you will no longer be Alexander Gutierrez. You’ll just be an Asher. Is that what you want?”

My words cause him to turn around and face me. He swallows, hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his jaw clenching. “If I don’t sign I lose everything.”

“You’ll lose even more if you do sign.”

Asher looks at me, finally looks at me for the first time since he walked into the apartment. The black folder of heinous accusation is still in his hand. He looks down at it and his mouth coils back as if his heart is sinking. “Emma, I . . . I don’t know how to trust.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

He walks toward me and then stops as if in fear or what he wants to do. His hands rise up in that way they do before his fingers find their most perfect spot on the sides of my head and slide into my hair. But they don’t do that. They just stop midair and then fall to the sides.

I look up into his mesmerizing honey-wheat eyes and watch the brown flecks disappear as despair settles over his face.

“Is that what you want, Emma? If you want me to give it up, I will. If you want me to keep my father’s name, I will. But if you want this world, I’ll sign. I can show you magnificent things. Together we can change the world. Imagine what we can do with all that money. Tell me what you want.”

Just tell him what I want.

What do I want?

It’s a lose-lose situation.

“I can’t answer that.” My hands tremble slightly at the position he is putting me in and the idea of what it means to our future. I hate Malory Dean but there is no denying she was right about one thing. “If I tell you to keep it, than you’ll always wonder if I love you for who you are or for the world I’ll inherit being with you. You’ll always wonder if Malory was telling the truth about me. And if I tell you to get rid of it, you’ll resent me for the life you’ll have to live in return.”

“I won’t resent you—”

“Yes, you will. You will because you want to keep it. You’ve had eighteen months to make this decision. If you wanted to honor your parents you would have done so a long time ago. The truth is you want to keep it and you’re looking for an excuse to do so. Whatever you choose, I can’t be your reason.”

What I want to tell him is to burn those papers. If he signs, he won’t be Alexander anymore. He’ll be Edward. The empire will be more important than anything in his life. This is what he was brought up to do. Slowly, the lessons he learned from his grandfather will take the forefront and my sweet Alexander will be gone.

And my love for him . . . he’ll always question it. Every time I enjoy a luxury of his lifestyle or spend a dollar, that little voice inside his head will always wonder if I am with him for the right reasons.

My suitcase is sitting by the door. I walk over to it and undo the zipper, pulling out a package I wrapped back in Cedar Ridge.

“Merry Christmas.” I say, handing him the gift.

“Its not Christmas yet.”

“I know, but I’m going back to Ohio.”

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