Violet slides a noodle under her knees and another under her arms. Then she closes her eyes and tilts her head back. “This engagement party is ruining my sex life.”
I float on my stomach with a noodle under my arms because my boobs are molehills compared to Violet’s mountains. “Shouldn’t you be excited about it?”
“Alex is more than excited enough for both of us, and so are our mothers. It’s insanity. Whoever heard of an engagement party with a guest list of more than two hundred people?” Violet scratches her arm. “I’m going to do something to embarrass myself and Alex.”
“You’ll be fine, Vi,” Charlene reassures her.
Violet gives her a look. “Seriously? Do you even remember my mom’s wedding?”
“What happened at your mom’s wedding?” Sunny asks.
“Oh, you know, the usual. I humiliated myself in front of all of my parents’ friends.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” I offer.
“I told my mom I didn’t want to give a speech, because I’m not comfortable getting up in front of that many people. But she was convinced I’d be fine because it was all people we knew.” Violet shakes her head. “When it was my turn I got up, tripped over the bottom of my dress, and face-planted into Buck’s junk. It set off a chain reaction. He stumbled into the podium and knocked it over, and it landed on the cake! I ruined my mom’s wedding.”
“You didn’t ruin it, Vi. It was just a hiccup,” Charlene says.
Vi turns to me and Sunny. “That’s not even the worse part! My boob popped out of my dress, and everyone saw it! There were, like, three hundred people at the wedding!”
“There were only seventy-five. It was small,” Charlene corrects.
“Well, it seemed like three hundred!” Violet huffs. “The whole team is coming to the engagement party! All of them. And they’ve all seen me naked. Or parts of me naked. It’s embarrassing. What if I have another wardrobe malfunction? What if I say something stupid or talk about Alex’s dick, which we all know is highly likely.”
Last year rumors circulated that Alex had gotten caught having sex in the locker room with an unknown girl. The claims were never substantiated. We all know the truth, though; Alex got kicked out of a game, and Violet went to see if he was okay. It was close to the end of the third period. The team walked into the locker room right after they finished, or at least that’s what Sunny told me.
Apparently Miller and Alex almost had it out right there. I’m not much for violence, but I would have paid to see that fight. I did get to see Miller punch Alex out on national TV, and then I saw Alex return the favor in real life, so that’s something.
“Yeah, but you’ve been around them all a ton since then. I’m sure they don’t even remember at this point,” Sunny says.
“Oh, they remember all right. That Kirk guy mentions it every time I see him.”
“Ick. He’s such a pig,” Charlene replies.
“Right?” Sunny shakes her head. “Miller says I’m never supposed to be in a room alone with him.”
“Why would he say that?” I ask. I have no idea who they’re talking about.
“Kirk’s one of the guys on the team. He’s a dirtbag. He’s getting a divorce because he can’t keep his winkie in his pants,” Charlene explains.
“He’s not coming to the engagement party, is he?” Sunny asks.
“Oh, he sure is. Alex didn’t want to invite him, but we couldn’t very well leave him out since the rest of the team is coming.” Violet rubs at a spot on her stomach. “Goddammit! I have hives again. We need to talk about something else.” She points at me. “What’s going on with you and Horny Nut Sac?”
“Who?”
“Randy Balls. Come on. Spill it. He’s clearly had his face in your beaver. Alex is all worried and shit. I’d be jealous if he didn’t constantly refer to you as his ‘other baby sister’ and my rack wasn’t way bigger than yours.”
I protectively cup my pint-sized boobs. Benji always said they were barely there and I’d better get a good job so I could afford to pay for an upgrade. He loved pointing out girls with more cleavage than me. Violet fills out her bikini top in a way I couldn’t even if I wore one of those super-extreme push-up bras. I bought one of those once, and Benji laughed at me. God, he was such a jerk.
“I’m not being mean,” she adds after a moment, probably because I haven’t come up with anything to say. “Just honest. Alex loves boobs so, so much. He tries to use mine as pillows every night. Maybe he got weaned from breastfeeding too early or something. I don’t know. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, right. Balls.”
She looks at me expectantly.
“There’s nothing going on.”
“Come on, Lily,” Sunny kicks me in the water.
I sigh. “We messed around. That’s it. It’s not a big deal.”