“I see that now.”
“I don’t know if you still have those feelings, or if what I said made them disappear, but I still want you. I mean, I want to be with you—and not just for sex. If this is moving too fast and you need this to not have a label, we can do that.” He pauses, his eyes wide, and then he shakes his head. “That’s not true. I want a label. I want to be in a relationship with you.”
“A relationship?” I sound like an idiot. I’m still reeling over the fact that we often went more than a month without seeing each other, and he wasn’t screwing bunnies. I mean, of course I’d hoped he wasn’t with bunnies, but I didn’t expect exclusivity, what with it being casual—or not, apparently, on either side.
“Yeah.” He nods once.
“You haven’t been with any bunnies since the summer?”
“Not one.”
“Why?”
“Because I only wanted you. Sorry, I mean want, present tense.”
“Wow. You went weeks at a time without *.”
“I jerked off a lot.”
“I bet.” I glance down at his crotch. He’s definitely got some happy going on down there. He’s still holding my wrist, and his thumb brushes back and forth over the skin, soothing, warming. “So you want to date me?”
“No, I want you to be my girlfriend.”
“You’re going for the big-gun label, eh?”
“Go big or go home, right?” He tugs me toward him. “So? You want to give it a shot?”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
His smile makes my heart all melty. I don’t realize he’s coming in for a kiss until his mouth is almost on mine. I slide a hand between our faces so he gets my knuckles instead of my lips. “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
“I don’t really care.”
“My mouth tastes like cheese dick.”
“How do you know what cheese dick tastes like?”
“You’ve seen Benji. His beard matches his balls.” I’m pretty sure I ruined what’s supposed to be our first official couple kiss by talking about my ex’s ungroomed ball sac.
Randy pulls a face. “That’s fuckin’ nasty.”
“Sorry, pretend I didn’t say that.”
“Too late.”
He pulls a pack of mints from his pocket, pops one out, and pushes it between my fingers and into my mouth. I chew it a couple of times, rub all the little minty bits over my tongue and swallow. Water would be good, but since I don’t have any, I’ll have to manage. I drop my hand. “’Kay. Ready.”
Randy gives me that sexy grin that makes my panties want to crawl off my body and into his pocket. Except I’m not wearing any. All my girl parts get tingly as soon as he cups my face in his palms. He smoothes his thumb along the contour of my bottom lip, wiping away a mint crumb. Then he leans in.
I can’t help myself. I still don’t understand what it is about him, but all I want is to hump all over him the second he starts touching me. I immediately shove my tongue in his mouth and moan. His laugh is muffled by my tongue thrusts.
Whatever. It’s been a couple of weeks, and I’ve been all mopey and heartbroken. Now I’m sexed up and excited. I have a boyfriend—a hot one, with a badass happy-face dick. I hold on to the back of his neck and stroke him through his jeans.
He’s hard, and I want to feel that between my legs since now it’s mine. Exclusively. I kick off my floppy slippers and get ready to either straddle him or pull him down. Both will work fine.
The knock on the window reminds me we’re in a car, and it’s eight in the morning, so there’s no cover of darkness. We’re also parked in front of my apartment building. I separate my face from Randy’s, ready to flip off whoever’s interrupting our make-up make-out session. Except it’s my mom.
So instead of swearing at her with hand gestures, I roll down the window. “Hey, Mom.”
She presses her hand against her chest and heaves what appears to be a relieved sigh. “For a second I thought that was Benji.”
“Uh, no.” I gesture to Randy. “As you can see, definitely not Benji.”
My mom looks him over as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “No. Definitely not.”
Randy waves. “Hi.” His face is beet red.
“Mom, you remember Randy. Randy, you remember my mom, Iris.” Wow. Talk about awkward.
“Of course I remember Randy. What a nice surprise. You two should go inside. I know the apartment’s a bit of a mess, but it’s cold out.”
The way she phrases it doesn’t give us much of an option, so Randy cuts the engine, surreptitiously rearranges his hard-on, zips his jacket, and gets out. My mom gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Nice to see you again, Randy. I hope this means we’ll be able to catch up another time.”
“Where’re you going?” I ask.
“Work, honey. It’s Monday.”
“Oh.”
“You two behave yourselves.” She pats Randy on the arm and leaves us on our own.