“Did you?” I turned in place and let the skirt swish beneath me with a sudden appreciation for the fine skirts and dresses I’d refused before. “It’s lovely. You’re so talented.”
Nissa beamed. “Thanks. We made it last month. The lord paid so well for it, too. We had enough copper left over to buy silk for my dress and for Siofra’s, and for Alvilda’s too.”
At the sound of her name again, Mistress Tailor finally decided to join in the conversation in her own curt way. “Luuk, Nissa, be seated. It’s about to begin.”
Luuk and Nissa sat back down in their chairs at the end of the row, their hands clasped together. Alvilda guided me a tad forcefully into a seat between her and Mistress Tailor, who looked as pretty as I’d ever seen her in a muted green dress. Mistress Tailor didn’t seem happy to see me, but I supposed I was unintentionally making a fuss at her elder son’s wedding.
My stomach clenched. I’d been so happy to win this bit of freedom that I hadn’t quite faced the fact that the man I loved would move beyond my grasp for a second time. But that was unfair. I already knew that he was long, long ago swept away out of my reach.
Alvilda squeezed my hand and pointed to the arch towering over Elweard. “How do you like my gift to the coupling?”
The arch looked familiar. “The headboard?”
Alvilda laughed. “It started off as one, but I had a burst of inspiration that told me this just had to be a wedding arch.” She lowered her voice even further and whispered in my ear. “That and I love to tease Siofra. She hates useless gifts. When she saw it, she thought I wasn’t going to make them a headboard at all, and I got an earful about always forgoing common sense to suit my poor choices. It was fun.” She smiled, and I witnessed an odd flash of something I didn’t recognize cross her features.
The music started, the dainty tune that heralded the bride and her parents’ arrival at the ceremony. The bride’s mother usually stood among them to emphasize the maternal cycle, an act the groom’s mother did not share with her son. I thought of Mother lying in the castle for a moment and felt ill. Then I shook my head to clear the stirring of venom and turned with the rest of the villagers to watch as Elfriede and Father came down the first hill and ascended the second, being sure to keep my eyes downward, off the horizon. I don’t want to see the castle anyway.
She looked beautiful, as fair as ever in a deep-violet gown I imagined to be the work of Mistress Tailor’s. It was not unlike my own, although Elfriede’s had real, live lily blooms woven into the material. Father stood beside her, a man-face mask hiding his face from me. Elfriede’s features fell when she noticed me. Then she smiled, only a slight touch of pain remaining on her face.
They reached the top of the hill, and Father removed his mask and threw it at the ground. His eyes wandered in my direction briefly, his features as cold as stone, but his gaze was quickly drawn away to the hill.
The music switched to the hearty march that signaled the arrival of the groom and his father. Jurij and Master Tailor came over the lily-covered hill, both wearing masks. Jurij’s was the man-face mask like the one he’d worn to his Returning, and Master Tailor’s was also man in form, a mask I’d never before seen him wear.
When they arrived at the top of the second hill and took their places beside Elfriede and my father, Jurij removed his mask and tossed it on the ground, leaning in toward Elfriede for a quick kiss. Master Tailor removed his man-face mask to reveal his favorite owl mask underneath. The villagers laughed. Mistress Tailor shifted uncomfortably beside me.
Jurij, his back toward me, didn’t seem to have noticed me. There was nothing in all of the land that could tear him from Elfriede. The happiness on his face slipped only slightly when he noticed the furrowed brow on Elfriede’s expression. But she soon regarded her pain in his reflection and put on her best smile. Unlike me, she could genuinely and completely shift from pain to joy. But she had Jurij, and I had nothing.
I watched the ceremony and felt the pain of the Returning flood back. Once they exchanged the last of their vows and the final kiss of the ritual, they headed back down the dirt path together hand in hand. As their feet disappeared over the hilltop toward my home, my heart sank, and I wondered if he was watching. If this was indeed why I’d been able to go, if this was what he’d wanted me to see.
My clapping slowed, even as the rest of the crowd grew more jubilant. Alvilda’s expression grew sour next to me, and she grabbed me gently by the hand. “Let’s go,” she whispered. She tugged me gently toward the back of the archway. I noticed Mistress Tailor’s bitter expression as she watched us go; Luuk and Nissa leaned in toward one another, smiling girl forehead plastered against wooden duck crown. It never ends, this wretched cycle.