Nobody's Goddess (The Never Veil)

It was hard to decide when the lord looked most inhuman, walking around with a veil wrapped around his head showing me this or that room in the castle, or sitting leagues away from me at a dining room table, that long curtain hanging between us, for our first breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. The masks on the boys and the few masked men of the village seemed almost human in comparison, although they never actually resembled humans until the day of their Returnings.

 

I thought of the lord from my dream, and how he thrust his face in mine.

 

I nearly choked on my trencher.

 

The lord took great care to lay down his knife and fork so that the plate only clinked with the most dulcet of tones.

 

“Olivière? Are you all right?”

 

His hand motioned upward behind the veil, and one of the specters standing still at the far edge of the room came to life and arrived swiftly at my side to pour wine into a crystal goblet. I hated the foul taste of wine, but I grabbed it roughly from the specter and downed an entire glass until the bread worked its way free of my throat.

 

“Are you all right now?” The hands clutched the edge of the table. “Olivière? Answer me!”

 

“Yes!” I slammed down the goblet, hoping it would shatter, but it remained intact.

 

The hands let the tablecloth go and picked up the knife and fork again to cut the rest of the meat still on his plate.

 

I felt a bit light-headed. This was why I hated wine. I shoved the plate away from me. The flank of brownish meat was even more disgusting now that my nose was full of the stench of alcohol.

 

“Would you care for another dish for dinner?”

 

One hand stabbed at a piece of meat with the fork, and then the fork and the hand vanished behind the curtain.

 

I shook my head and used both hands to push against the table. “I’d like to be excused now.” I stood up.

 

Half-a-dozen specters surrounded me on either side before I could take one step.

 

“Sit down,” said the lord behind the black curtain. “Please.”

 

I did not. “I’m not feeling well,” I said through clenched teeth.

 

“You have not eaten enough. Food will improve your temper.”

 

A few well-placed stabs from Elgar the Blade to his abdomen might “improve my temper.” I took a deep breath. Just because I dreamed of a lord even more foul didn’t mean this one deserved my anger. I moved to sit, but I caught myself halfway. And why wasn’t he deserving? When I thought of how he’d acted when I’d begged for help, or how he assumed I’d perform the Returning … I had power over him. It was time he remembered that.

 

“Let. Me. Leave.”

 

The fork fell to the floor with an echoing thud. One hand gripped the tablecloth again. I found it strange to observe the specters looking almost lifelike all around me. They didn’t move to pick up their lord’s fork. They didn’t move to block me. In fact, a number of them stepped backward, clearing a roundabout way to the dining hall doorway. I smiled.

 

The lord loosened his grip on the tablecloth and picked up a napkin from beside his plate. “She means to let her retire from the dining hall for the night. And so shall I.” The napkin disappeared behind the curtain.

 

The specters swept into a state of activity, having regained their composure. As expected, one swooped down by his lord to pick up the fallen fork. The others stood in two facing lines, forming an enclosed path between the doorway and myself.

 

But I wasn’t satisfied.

 

“No, that’s not the full extent of my wishes,” I began, emphasizing each word with a strained attempt at Elfriede’s own pretense of innocent sweetness. “Let—”

 

The lord flew into motion, knocking his chair backward into the waiting arms of one of the specters. The curtain in front of him shook rapidly with the movement.

 

“Do not speak further!” he bellowed.

 

The words echoed in the cavernous dining hall and died only after a series of repetitions.

 

I could see the two black-leathered hands clench into fists below the surface of the fluttering curtain.

 

I clenched my own fists. “I don’t think you understand how this works—”

 

“Silence!”

 

“No! Who do you think you are? What do you think you’re supposed to mean to me? I don’t even know you. I don’t want to be here, and you’re expecting me to perform the Returning!”

 

The black fists pounded on the table. “Was it not you who first sought me out?”

 

I gestured at the ridiculously large, cold, and empty room around me. “Not for this! I never asked to be your goddess! I just wanted—” I bit my lip. There was never going to be any going back.

 

“You wished to free your friend so you could steal him from his goddess.” He made a gesture toward the line of specters, and the two closest appeared at my side, their hands wrapped tightly against my arms. “How unfortunate that I was unable to help you with such a generous act.” I struggled to break free, but I felt powerless in their tight grip.

 

The lord turned sharply. Before he took more than two steps, a series of specters appeared from the line, one to pick up his plate from the table and then one who fit the lord with his black veil and hat even as he walked. He appeared in mere moments from the side of the curtain.

 

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