She got between the coupling so she could grab Jurij by the shoulder and shake him playfully. The blush that covered Jurij’s entire face said it all.
A bed headboard. An upcoming wedding. But Jurij wouldn’t turn seventeen for a year. I forced myself to smile. “Are we thinking about wedding gifts already?”
Elfriede studied me a moment. She didn’t seem to like what she found. “Headboards take a while, and Alvilda’s too busy to spend all of her time on it.” She smiled sweetly at me. “Of course, I know your Returning comes first, Noll. Just let me know what you’d like. I’m quite excited.”
My Returning. A woman had the choice to send her man to the commune, but …
No one’s ever been the goddess of the lord, not in my lifetime or my parents’ lifetimes, either. It seemed to go without saying that I’d accept him.
Alvilda wiped her brow and slipped an arm around both Elfriede’s and Jurij’s shoulders as she stuck her head between them. She had a bit of sawdust in her hair. “Which tools did Gideon want now?”
I cocked my head. “Father wants to borrow tools?”
Alvilda nodded and stepped back. “More like he wants the tools I’ve borrowed back.” She made her way to her toolbox and started picking through its contents.
“It’s Mother, really.” Elfriede hugged Jurij tighter. “She was doing a bit better this morning. She got mad that he’d given away so many of his tools when she was in and out over the past few days, and she asked that we get them back, so Father could start working again.” Elfriede pinched her nose. “It’ll make her happy.”
But it won’t make him work, she seemed poised to say. Alvilda laid out a number of tools on her workbench. “That seems a bit much to carry like that. You can borrow some baskets.”
Elfriede walked to the cupboard and pulled out a basket like it was her home and she knew were everything was. She took out three and Jurij started filling them.
Alvilda crossed over to where Elfriede was standing. She smiled as she put one of the baskets back into the cupboard. “I think two baskets should be enough.” Jurij finished loading the second basket as she spoke as if to prove her words true. “And I’d like to elicit Noll’s opinion on that special gift I’m working on.”
Beautiful. Now I’d be helping plan the décor resting over their wedding bed.
Elfriede’s shoulders relaxed, and I suspected she was relieved not to have to fight for her man’s attention on the trek back home. She stepped to the door without picking up either basket. “Thank you again for lunch, Auntie.”
Alvilda nodded. “Sure thing. You’re always welcome!”
Jurij slipped his arms around both baskets. I wondered if Elfriede knew that if she offered to carry one, he’d refuse, or if she didn’t even bother to worry about him carrying all of that without assistance. Either way, he seemed delighted. “See you later!” he called, and then both were gone, Elfriede shutting the door behind them.
I turned back to the carving and sighed.
Alvilda left me to my thoughts for a few moments. I could hear her pick up the file and continue working. “I didn’t really want to ask you about the headboard.”
I jumped. Alvilda rested her file back on her workbench and grinned. “Come, now. Even I’m not that heartless.”
Heartless. Ingrith had called the man who had found the goddess in me the heartless monster. I didn’t know what it meant. I didn’t understand anything about him, and I was so scared to find out more. So frightened to acknowledge that I had a big decision to make.
I snapped out of my daze just long enough to pull out one of the sawdust-covered chairs at the eating table. Alvilda followed suit.
“It’s all right,” I said, breaking a few tense moments of silence. I wanted to talk about everything. I wanted to ask her if there was a way to act as if I’d never gone to the castle. I wanted to ask her if it would be okay to delay the lord’s courtship as much as possible, to pretend to be preparing my heart for the Returning day after day, year after year as I continued living as if nothing had changed.
But why is it different for me? Why do I have to Return at all? I’d rather live the rest of my own days in the commune.
Alvilda of all people should have been able to understand my feelings, but even she thought it a bad idea to reject the lord. “He’s good to us. He pays the villagers well for their wares.” But what did I care? If even Alvilda thought that I should sacrifice myself so the rest of the village could pocket a few more coppers, I couldn’t betray any of my plan to delay the Returning. “Plus, he’s—” Alvilda had dropped what she was going to say then, choosing to bite her lip instead. It was probably “always watching.” The people in the village were worried he’d punish them for forgetting to invite someone to a Returning, so what would he do to them if his goddess refused to love him?