Nobody's Goddess (The Never Veil)

Mother’s voice grew stern. “The goddess’s words gave the women more than hope. She spoke and the women became goddesses themselves, goddesses with power to lock out the darkness. To keep it where it was deserved: across the faces of men.” I looked to Jurij, keeper of the darkness, but whatever he thought of this part of the story, his mask kept it from me.

 

Mother looked up from the book, the words seeming to come from her instead of the old and dusty pages. “We mask our boys and men. Deserving of the love of mothers and sisters and aunts and cousins they may be, and to them they may show their faces. But to prove themselves truly worthy of love and of the first goddess’s blessing, they must find the goddess in a woman of no blood relation when they grow from boy to man. They must treat her kindly, regard her with reverence, and win her affection. Should the goddess in turn love the man when she is at least seventeen years of age, she may Return her feelings to him and reveal his face to the light. From that day forward, he is free to walk unmasked, having proved himself worthy of love, never again to fear the power of a woman’s gaze, no matter what the years may bring.”

 

Mother’s eyes wandered back to the book, and she turned a page gently. “Every goddess shall have her due. Every woman shall get her man. So spoke the goddess, and so it shall always be.”

 

With that, Mother shut the book. Every woman? That was proof enough that the first goddess wasn’t as all-powerful as they claimed. But Ingrith mentioned that line …

 

My thoughts were racing, foolishly distracting me from the danger. Jurij let go of Elfriede’s hand and ripped off his ceremonial Returning mask.

 

He’s going to die!

 

And Elfriede’s smile grew wider. She closed her eyes, leaned forward, and the two shared their first kiss, forever sealing their union.

 

She loves him. That can’t be true! It can’t be!

 

My mind was screaming at me. I wanted to run up and fling him back from her, guarding his face from her eyes, from the eyes of all of the women around me.

 

Mother put the book down on the table behind her and grasped both Elfriede’s and Jurij’s hands in her own, raising them high above her head. “The goddess has judged Jurij, her man, worthy of love!”

 

The crowd exploded. Shrieks and cries echoed throughout the space, hurting my ears.

 

Unmasked men and women melted into each other’s embrace. Father jumped up and ran toward Mother, his arms outstretched. “Aubree!” called Father, devotion pouring into both syllables of Mother’s name, over and over between kisses. I looked away. I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.

 

As Luuk stood from the chair next to me to join the celebration, I squeezed his hand tightly. His puppy face met mine and he sat back down beside his owl-masked father and his sour-faced mother. But only a moment had passed when he stiffened. Summoning strength I didn’t know he had, he ripped his hand free from mine, walked across to the room to the end of the row, and hugged a girl seated between her parents. Nissa. She was grinning as she hugged him back.

 

Mother unhooked herself from Father’s embrace and laughed, pointing at Luuk and Nissa. “Look, everyone!” she shouted. “The Returned’s brother has found his goddess!”

 

Laughter. Clapping. My hands clasped feebly together. Another one. Another coupling. All because of the first goddess. All because of a woman who appeared out of nowhere, barking out orders and vanishing from sight. All because of the lord and his goddess’s blessing. My awful attempt at clapping ceased, my body flushed with rage.

 

There were two others who didn’t bother to laugh with joy at the little boy who’d found his goddess. At last, I saw that stunning face I’d never seen before as it pulled away from Elfriede with great effort, its flame-filled eyes still mesmerized by her features.

 

 

 

 

 

“Half the village is here,” observed Master Tailor. “How wonderful.” Everything was “wonderful, wonderful” with that man. Must be great to live in a rosy, wonderful version of your awful life. If only I could. But I’m a woman, with a woman’s mind.

 

After the Returning, everyone had filed up to the Returned to smile and pretend like they cared for the happiness of a man and goddess not their own. That left the families of the goddess and her man off to the side, waiting for the ceremony to be over. I stood as far away from Jurij and Elfriede as I could without leaving the area. But next to Master Tailor stood Luuk and Nissa, their hands clasped, and every so often, I heard them giggling. There was no escaping it.

 

“Do you remember Elweard and Vena’s Returning? What, fifteen, twenty years ago?” asked Mother. She cradled a cup of wine in her hand. She’d offered me some, but I said no thanks. Wine, like the terrible laws of the village, made me nauseous. “The whole village was there.”

 

Father had one arm around Mother’s shoulder and the other stuck firmly across the front of her waist. “That one was a long time coming.”

 

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