The black and white contrast between these two men leaves me with open eyes. I can almost hear the last of the blinders falling to the ground as I blink.
“Well, you’ve known her, what? Twenty-four hours?” James’ laugh echoes throughout the house. “Hardly enough time to make a judgment. Remember, as a doctor, we need to study our patients. A quick diagnosis can lead to errors.”
My hands form tight fists as I listen to his last remarks. I’ve heard enough for the night and return to the television room to clean up the pizza boxes and plates. Gathering them in under a minute, I throw the pizza box and beer cans away in the garbage, and place the plates in the dishwasher.
Nothing is ever left out overnight. James would be livid if he found any trace of them in the morning. The last and only time I left a teacup in the sink overnight, he made me disrobe and scrub the kitchen floors on my hands and knees. My stomach turns at the thought. I didn’t even show any sign to him that I was humiliated. I caved into his demands out of fear—fear of being alone in this world. Looking back, he has used my weakness against me at every turn. That hindsight is twenty-twenty saying makes me see myself as a fool.
My newly found anger with James makes me want to leave one of the plates in the sink just to piss him off. He deserves it after what he said about me to Sin, but I stood there silent in the shadows and let him speak about me, knowing full well James was telling Sin complete lies. Though, I am guilty of falling for the lies James has told me over the last four months. My biggest mistake is believing a marriage to him would be based on love.
I have to face the fact that my battle is with James and no one else. I can’t ask Sin for help, though I’m convinced his offer was sincere.
What does Sin expect to do for me anyway? A sad, depressing sigh leaves my lips. He has his entire life ahead of him. Medical school in New York City and possibly a beautiful girlfriend waiting for him there. I have to be realistic for the first time in months.
Other than a few old clothes and books, I have nothing in my possession from my previous life. He had everything in the apartment I shared with my mother put into a storage unit somewhere in Rochester. He’s never even told me the location of the unit. If I knew where my things were stored, I could possibly sell them for a small amount of money. I need the cash to move out of here. Without it, I’m stuck at square one.
Who can I ask to help me leave this house? My mother never told me about her family or my father’s—hell, I don’t even know their names or where they live. I have no way to get beyond the borders of Rochester.
Emma, and my new friend, Sin, have offered their support, but I can’t burden them with my troubles. I need a job, a place to live … and a car. I have no idea what became of the beat-up piece of junk I used to drive. James said he found it inadequate for me. My wallet contains one twenty-dollar bill. I’m not even sure that would be enough for cab fare downtown.
After deciding to properly clean away all the remnants of dinner, I flip the light off over the sink and stand like a statue alone in the darkness. Lost in my thoughts and the dilemma I find myself in, I peer out the large window in front of me and gaze up into the dark sky. James’ house is far from the city’s brightness, so the twinkling stars light up against an inky black. The vastness of the universe stares back at me and I imagine myself as the smallest speck of dust in the cosmos.
I am nothing. I am no one. But there’s someone new who believes the opposite. Sin’s sudden arrival into my life gives me a glimmer of hope that someone is watching out for me after all. I close my eyes and pray the hope will dispel the fear churning inside me.
I grabbed a rope when I was drowning with nowhere else to turn. At the time, the person on the other end seemed to save my life, but now … that lifeline is nothing more than a tangled web entrapping me to a man I am beginning to despise.
But how do I make an escape from James and our wedding that is set to take place in four weeks? And where do I escape to? Since he practically owns this town with his prestige and money, I have nowhere to hide from his reach. Even though the roof over my head is worth millions and the cost of my wardrobe could buy a sports car, I’m more broke than when my mother was alive.
I wipe my fingers under my eyes and will myself not to shed another tear, even though I know it’s futile. I should focus my energy on finding a way out of this labyrinth James has made of my life. Each and every turn seems to lead me back to where I begin.
I place my hands on the sink and my bracelet clinks on the stainless steel. I look down and a diamond’s twinkle catches my eye. James gave me this bracelet a month ago. I cringe when I think of that night.