God, my thoughts are twisted, but I can’t stop or deny this pull toward Sin. I bring my hand to my cheek, remembering his heartfelt and tender touch. Wiping away my tear moved and affected me more than it should have. Sin’s attention makes me question everything, blurring the lines of my orderly—or “ordered by James”—life, but I’m feeling. For the first time in months, I’m no longer numb, and whether those feelings are right or wrong confuses me.
My phone begins to vibrate on the nightstand next to me. It makes the wood hum with an odd sound, and I turn it over to see it’s Emma calling me. I have avoided her texts and voicemails for weeks, though I’m not sure why. I’ve felt guilty about it, too. Since James isn’t hovering over me right now, I decide to take the call.
“Hello,” I whisper.
“Oh my God. Finally.” I hear the annoyance in her voice and I can’t blame her. I’ve been a lousy friend.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I haven’t been able to get back with you.” It’s a blatant lie, but I don’t know what to say in regards to essentially blowing her off.
“What is going on with you? I’m beyond worried and need proof of life,” she huffs into the phone. “I’m going to see you today. Either I’ll come rattle the iron gate or you’ll agree to meet me somewhere.”
Well, shit. There’s no use fighting her demands. Her mind is made up, but I need to think of a way to have James approve of me seeing her. Or make up a convincing lie about where I’m going. First things first: I need to make her happy.
“I’ll meet you at the club for lunch. How about noon?”
“The club? You’re kidding? I can’t think of anyone our age that goes to lunch there. Should I wear my pearls?” She follows with a short chuckle tinged with sarcasm.
Going to the club is the best I can hope for. It’s on an approved list of places for me, though I’ve never been without him before, so I have my work cut out for me to win his permission.
“Pearls aren’t required.” I try to lighten the mood in hopes of getting her to agree to come. “They do make a great dirty martini, though. Please?”
“Okay. I am that worried about you. I’ll see you at noon, but you have some explaining to do and martinis will help.”
“Thanks. For what it’s worth, I can’t wait to catch up.”
We end the conversation and I rise from the bed, make it perfectly, and grab my black silk robe. I slip it on, along with a pair of panties, and amble down the stairs toward the kitchen. The smell of coffee hits me first, followed by two deep, male voices.
I inch a little closer to the kitchen so I can make out what they’re saying. I stop before they can see me and lean against the hallway wall, resembling an undercover spy.
“I didn’t mention it earlier, but I have a penthouse apartment downtown. Perhaps you’d feel more comfortable staying there,” James says, and I drop my head as my heart deflates. I want Sin to stay with us … or, really, just be here close to me. I have known him less than a day and the heaviness in my chest when I think of him leaving surprises me.
“So, it’s by the hospital?” Sin asks, sounding interested in James’ offer. Dammit.
“Yes. It’s my crash pad. I haven’t used it much since Harlow came to live with me, though. No matter how long my day is, a body like hers is worth the long drive home.”
How could he speak about me like that, and in front of his nephew? I want to hide until Sin leaves, but I stay plastered to the wall, hardly breathing.
“Man, she’s your fiancée,” Sin remarks. Here’s a virtual stranger showing me more respect than my own fiancé, but Sin’s more than a stranger to me. No matter what I tell myself, I want him to like me, and by defending me, he shows he cares.
“And?” James questions.
“How can you treat her with such disrespect?”
“Come on, Sinclair. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about fucking her, too. Every man wants inside a woman like her. It’s our nature.”
What did he say? I clutch my stomach, as if his words punched me in the gut. He talks like I’m nothing more than a possession to him. I feel cheap and embarrassed. And I can’t ignore how the degrading comment rolled off his tongue like second nature.
Hearing the man who professes to love me say such cheap words stings. A silent tear of shame runs down my cheek.
“That’s so fucked up,” Sin announces. Footsteps sound on the wood floor and Sin comes into sight down the hallway. He turns his head and our eyes connect. His face falls as he realizes I heard everything James said about me.
“What is it?” James asks, and then he’s standing next to Sin.
Sin’s eyes are filled with sympathy, just like they were last night when I saw him in the driveway. James has a smirk on his face and scans my body with hunger in his eyes. Both looks make me feel ashamed in different ways.
As they stare back at me, I want to fold into myself and disappear. To where, I don’t know. For now, I’m trapped in this hallway with nowhere to go as James starts to move forward.