‘No.’
‘What?’
‘They’re dead. I told you.’
I said very gently, ‘Be that as it may, Izzie, we still go back for the bodies. You get yourself upstairs and I’ll see to this.’
‘No, I told you, they’re dead. There’s no point.’
I was hanging on by my fingertips here. I wished to God she’d stop saying, ‘They’re dead.’
‘We don’t leave our people behind, Izzie, you know that. Don’t worry, no one’s expecting you to go back; you’ve more than done your bit tonight. I’ll go. Are you ready, guys?’
‘Stand down, you men. Back in line.’ They looked at me, which pissed her off no end, but she had the seniority, so I kept my face neutral. They slowly backed off, not looking happy at all.
I tried again. ‘Look, Izzie, we have to go back for them. We can’t …’
‘For fuck’s sake, Maxwell!’
Her voice rose to a scream. She never swore. I was startled into silence. ‘I know you never listen to anyone else, but do you ever stop to listen to yourself? How many more people do you want to kill tonight? This whole cluster-fuck is your fault. You’re a disaster. Everything you touch, everywhere you go, people die. You brought Dieter back in pieces. You didn’t bring Sussman back at all. The Boss is down. Half the unit is injured. Farrell, Guthrie, Peterson, Markham – dead. All thanks to you. There will be no rescue mission. No more lives will be risked over this. Now get your report written up and see me in the morning so I can decide what to do with you.’
‘Fine, yes, whatever. But for God’s sake, you’ve got to send someone. If not me, then –’
‘Jesus fucking Christ, Maxwell, what do I have to do to get through to you?’ She really was screaming now. I could hear people breathing in the silence.
I struggled for the calm I wasn’t feeling. ‘Izzie, I know you don’t understand how important this is, but …’ I could not have said anything worse but I was hurt, frightened, and fighting rising panic.
‘No, Maxwell, what is important is the safety of every person in this unit, not your own over-inflated ego. You will – where are you going?’ I had stepped into the pod.
‘I told you. Rescue mission. I’ll go alone. No risk to anyone.’
‘Murdoch, Ritter, get her out of there.’
I’ve never known the unit so quiet. There was nothing, no sound, no background noises, just the total absence of any sound at all except for the blood thudding in my head. I tried again.
‘Izzie, I’ll go alone if that’s what’s concerning you. Just let me get a weapon.’
‘No!’ She was verging on the hysterical.
‘Then I’ll go without one.’
‘You will not go at all.’
She turned and began to walk away. I reached out, grabbed her arm and yanked her back, harder than I intended. ‘Izzie …’ and realised what I had done. Everything went very still. She looked down at my hand. I let go and stepped back. Her eyes glittered and she looked half mad.
‘Maxwell, with immediate effect you are dismissed from this unit.’ She turned to Murdoch. ‘She is to be gone within one hour. She may take personal items only. She turned back to me. ‘No books, no printed material of any kind. No electronics. Your computer will be sterilised and returned to you after a security check. You will not now or ever discus anything pertaining to this unit with anyone. You will not contact any member of this unit. Ever. For you, St Mary’s no longer exists. Now get out. If you are still here in one hour, I will have you arrested. Murdoch, she is to speak to no one and no one is to speak to her. Is that clear?’ She raised her head and glared around the hangar.
No response. They were in shock. I was in shock. She nodded to Murdoch. ‘Get her out of this building. Everyone else remain here for one hour.’
I couldn’t have moved to save my life. Murdoch, who looked pretty distressed himself, took my arm, probably more gently than she would have liked, and we began the long walk back to my room. Ritter fell in behind.
As we passed the kitchen, I saw Mrs Mack directing operations. She came out. ‘Where is everyone?’
I waited for Murdoch to speak but he said nothing. Neither did Ritter. I remembered I wasn’t the only person who’d lost someone tonight.
Mrs Mack said, ‘Max?’ and looked at each of us in turn.
Finally, in a tiny, dead voice I found from somewhere, I said, ‘They’re … confined to Hawking for an hour. They’ll be gagging for a drink … Can you get that lot on trolleys and take it down to them, please?’
She nodded and looked in puzzlement at Murdoch and Ritter who were looking at the floor. Neither of them looked happy at all and for a moment I wondered … but Guthrie trained his people well. They would follow their orders.