Just One Damned Thing After Another (The Chronicles of St Mary's, #1)

‘Come with me. Door!’


Four strides and I was inside a pod. I could tell that with my eyes shut. The smell was unmistakable. I looked around. This one was small. Maybe a single-seater. The layout was different, with the console on the left-hand wall. The colour was different – a boring beige instead of the standard grim grey. Everything was different, not least the fact it appeared, from the outside, to be invisible.

I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t get me into even deeper trouble, so I shut up. I suspect something similar flitted through his mind and he was a man of few words anyway.

Eons passed. My backpack slid off my shoulder and hit the floor with a thump that made us both jump. At last, he said, ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Looking for somewhere quiet to do my pod revision,’ and pulled out a folder, as if that would convince him.

‘Shouldn’t you be …?’

I cut him off with a gesture and a complicated, ambiguous noise intended to convey – if you don’t ask then I won’t have to lie and you won’t have to take any action we might both regret, because, let’s face it, I’m not the only one up to no good here.

We both paused to contemplate the massive rule-breaking going on here.

‘Would you like some tea?’

‘Oh. Yes, please.’

We’re St Mary’s. If hitting someone doesn’t cure the problem, then drinking tea will. There was only one seat so we sat on the floor and sipped.

‘You picked the wrong day to … study … in the paint store. It’s inventory day and people are going to be in and out all day, counting things.’

Bloody typical. It had been such a good plan, too.

He sighed. ‘You can stay here.’

I looked around.

‘In my pod.’

I looked at him.

‘This is my pod. My own pod. I keep it here out of the way.’

I carried on looking at him.

‘It’s experimental.’

‘Ah. That accounts for some of its more unusual features.’

‘Yes, I use it as a prototype. If things test OK then I incorporate them into the mainstream pods.’

I nodded.

‘Only it’s not generally known.’

I nodded again.

He turned and looked at me directly. ‘Is this likely to be a problem for you?’

‘No.’

‘Edward mentioned this.’

‘Edward?’

‘Dr Bairstow. The Boss. He said he found it one of the most unusual things about you. He said the more extraordinary things he told you, the quieter and calmer you became. You’re doing it again.’

‘I’m sitting here in an invisible room!’

‘Only from the outside and invisible is not a good word.’

‘Don’t tell me we’re “cloaked”.’ I did the hooked fingers thing.

‘No, it’s camouflage. Simply a combination of high def. cameras and a sophisticated computer putting it all together and projecting the images back again. It works well against simple backgrounds like plain walls, less so against complex subjects – a leafy jungle for example.’

I nodded and looked around. A small telephone-like object resting on a stand caught my eye. ‘You have a telephone?’

‘Funny you should pick up on that. It’s a remote control. Someday you’ll be using one yourself.’

I nodded again, having no idea what he was saying.

‘I’ll leave you then to get on with your … revision. You’ll probably find around six thirty on Sunday morning will be the best time to finish and take a walk in the woods, coming in through the East Gate.’

‘OK. Thanks.’

‘Leave the place tidy,’ he said, paused as if to say something else and then left. I made myself comfortable in his chair and pulled out my pod files.

He was right about the inventory. People wandered in and out all day, including Polly Perkins from IT and a small, dark girl and they had a very interesting conversation. They were counting tins of Sunshine Yellow, which is, apparently, the colour of the cross-hatching outside the hangar, when the Chief stuck his head round the door and without even a glance in my direction, asked them to count Lamp Black as well.

After he’d gone, they put down their paperwork and prepared for a good gossip.

‘Is he shagging Barclay?’

I turned up external audio and stared at the screen.

‘No, that never really got off the ground, although not for want of trying on her part. She did everything she could and at the last Christmas party, it was just plain embarrassing. But fun to watch.’

‘Whatever did he do?’

‘Nothing. He was polite but distant. You know how he can be.’

‘Yeah, and I know how she can be as well. Don’t tell me she’s given up.’

‘She might as well. The word on the street now is that he’s very interested in someone else.’

‘Oh? Who’s that then?’

‘Can’t you guess?’

‘What? Her? You’re having me on!’

Her? Who’s her? Why does everyone always know what’s going on but me? Come on, ladies! Clarify for the confused eavesdropper.

‘Well, she’ll lead him a merry dance.’

‘Already is by the sound of it.’