We all went back together. It had been a team effort. We went back as a team. I paused in the doorway to Number One and looked around one last time. We were probably the most exciting thing that had ever happened here. Well, give it a couple of thousand years … I stepped back into the pod, Peterson closed the door and the world went white.
It was announced on the day we returned. The Boss had promised us a surprise when we got back and he delivered big time. He had the big screen on in the Hall. Thirsk had done us proud. World-wide headlines announced their breakthrough into the cave and the discovery of the treasures we had so carefully buried there nearly two thousand years ago. Or last week, depending how you looked at it.
We filed out of the pods; burned, baked, barbed-wire hair and with sand in all our nooks and crannies. The whole building was decked out with medieval banners, strobing lights, flags of all nations, tinsel, paper chains, Chinese lanterns, reindeer with flashing noses, glitter balls, bunting, and very loud music. It was just like us – noisy and gloriously tasteless.
We watched TV all day as the news reverberated around the world. No one was quite sure what they’d found yet, but everyone knew it was going to be big. Just for once, we knocked the Space Programme off the top news spot.
The Chancellor had rung the Boss personally with news of the discovery.
‘What did she say?’ I asked him.
‘No idea,’ he said, sipping his champagne. ‘She was incoherent. For all I know she was reading me her shopping list.’
We drank. We ate. We drank some more. We sang. We danced. We did The Time Warp – many times. We may have drunk a little more.
Leon and I moved carefully away from the buffet with an armful of good things to eat and searched for a quiet spot in which to eat them and talk. What we did find were Markham and Hunter apparently playing cards in one of the old lecture rooms off the Hall.
She was more than fully clothed. Apart from a large wound dressing, he appeared to be stark naked.
Leon stepped back. ‘I’ll never eat another chipolata again.’
He greeted us with his usual sunny smile. I kept my eyes firmly on his face.
Hunter grinned. ‘He wanted to play cards. We’re playing cards.’
Leon put down his plate and picked up the deck. ‘These cards are marked.’
‘Of course they are,’ said Hunter. ‘I marked them myself.’
Markham smirked.
‘Go away,’ said Hunter. So we did.
We sat in the Hall and watched the security and technical sections challenge each other to the traditional tray race down the stairs. As usual, both teams came to grief halfway down, tumbling gracelessly to land in the Hall with a huge crash which made the building tremble. We were lucky nothing was dislodged. Not like the time … not like the time …
I looked up to see Mrs Partridge looking at me from across the room with her ‘Finally!’ expression. At her side, Mrs De Winter smiled slightly. I thought I heard a small musical noise, which, given the racket around me was just impossible.
… Not like the time Dieter and I had bounced Number Eight and we’d dislodged one of those decorative pineapple things from above the front door and it had cracked … it had cracked one of the steps outside.
Exactly which step outside?
I stepped over groaning bodies. They’d be OK. The internal application of even more alcohol would soon have them back on their feet again – albeit very briefly.
I weaved my very unsteady way around similarly unsteady groups of people; past Doctor Dowson and the Professor who were amiably discussing whether it was actually possible to die of a surfeit of lampreys and how to set about it, slipped through the front doors and stood for a moment, enjoying the cool evening air. This last assignment had certainly taught me the value of cool. I would never again moan about being cold.
The fourth step was cracked. Web-like fractures radiated outwards from the small, round impact crater at the centre. The Boss had followed me out.
‘Ah,’ he said, looking down at the damage. ‘Yet another result of your unscheduled visit to the Cretaceous.’
I waited to hear how much would be docked from my pay but he seemed in a fairly amiable mood.
I prodded with my foot and a bit of stone came away. I stared hard at it. He watched me in some amusement.
‘We should get this fixed,’ I said, eventually. ‘Hazardous work environment.’
There was a loud bang from inside the building, the sound of breaking crockery and some ironic cheers.
‘Yes, indeed,’ he said. ‘We wouldn’t want that, would we? However, you’re right; it should be fixed. Now we have a moment to draw breath, I’ll inform SPOHB.’
The Society for the Protection of Historical Buildings was the official body whose task it was to oversee repairs and maintenance to our beloved but battered listed building. We had them on speed-dial. They had us on their black list.
There was another loud bang from inside.
He offered me his arm. ‘There’s nothing to concern yourself with at the moment, Miss Maxwell. Shall we re-join the party?’
The fire alarms went off.