Falling Down

Chapter Seven
Lucy
"You're not going to invite me up, are you?" Jesse asks.
I shake my head. "No, I'm not. We've still got to work together."
"Just one more day… more like half a day. There's not much left to shoot."
"Jesse."
"Lucy."
I can't help but smirk a little. He's something else. Jesse freaking Kingston. I shake my head.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Oh come on. It was something."
I turn in the passenger seat of his red brand-spanking-new Mustang to face him. "You really want to know?"
He glances over for a second before looking back at the highway stretched before us. "I do."
"I was just thinking 'Jesse freaking Kingston'."
He grins. "Yeah, that's me."
"It still seems surreal."
"I could say the same Miss Hollywood actress. Luciana freaking Russo."
I wave him off. "I'm not anything but a mediocre actress at best."
He laughs. "Oh really. This coming from the woman who got nominated for an Oscar after her very first film."
"Please. It was best supporting actress and I didn't win."
"Still nominated and you won the actress Oscar for your last film so don't tell me you're mediocre."
"Meh. I don't feel like I deserve any of that. I'm just Lucy and I go play other characters sometimes."
"You work hard, learn all the lines, get into that character, make it believable."
"Great scripts help."
He chuckles. "Would you stop? You can't admit you're good."
"I just don't see myself like that. It's just a job… acting. Now music... That's going to be something I really want to succeed at."
"I have no doubt you're going to. It might be a little slow going at first, but I honestly don't think so. Not with Cage's backing."
I nod. "I have to find a new manager, though Cage said he would step in for the time being. I'm not sure how he can find time for that with everything he's already got going on."
"I'm sure it has a little something to do with Sera."
"Probably."
"How'd you meet Cage?"
I smile at the memory. "Well, it wasn't long after I'd met you that Irene, my agent, had lined Sera and I up to be in a music video for Crashed. My mom hated it. I mean hated it. Anyway, when we got there, his assistant Marci greeted us just like she did yesterday and took us into the conference room. There sat Cage and a few of his people as well as all the band members from Crashed. It was all Sera and I could do not to squeal like stupid little fangirl groupies." I shake my head at the memory.
Jesse chuckles. "Go on."
"I'd never worked on anything like the videos so we were essentially virgins--that's what Cage called us. I was offended at first but didn't say a word. I mean, it's Cage Nichols. At least that's what I thought back then. Anyone who isn't in the industry, I've noted, doesn't see anyone who is in the industry as just a person. They're all hyped up to be OMG Mr. Rockstar or Miss Actress."
"Kinda like you just thought of me a few minutes ago?"
"Yeah, but I know you're just a guy who loves music who gets to do what he loves for a living. But that's not how we saw it back then, Sera and I. So we were pretty awed by everything. Then we got on set and it was so much fun. God. So much more fun than acting in a movie or television show. The music, the lights, the sound, the stories that Cage creates for the videos--but mostly it was the music. Sera and I lose ourselves in it and we weren't prepared for being in a video."
"Uh-oh. I sense something bad is going to happen."
"Not bad, just super embarrassing."
"What happened?"
I pluck at an imaginary piece of lint on my pants. "Well, we got out there and Crashed started playing. Sera and I did our ass wiggling as we were supposed to but when they got into it, so did we. We were dancing around singing the lyrics at the tops of our lungs," I laugh out loud at myself. "It was just horrifying to do that in front of all these professional people."
"How hard of a time did they give you?"
"That's the thing. They didn't."
"No?"
I shake my head. "They knew we were being weirdoes but they didn't stop playing. They let us get our goofy dancing and singing out of the way, they laughed a bit, and told us we were a lot of fun. Cage--he just sat there in his chair, leaning to one side, elbow bent upward so his chin was resting on his hand--you know what I mean."
He nods.
"So quiet and stoic, I thought we were fired for sure. Then he gets up from his chair and walks over to us, just me and Sera, and pulls us both into a hug and starts laughing, telling us what a breath of fresh air we are, that everyone is always so serious. Well, that set the tone for that shoot and our relationship with Cage. We started hanging out with him a bit, I took his advice on movies and things--he's good friends with Irene, by the way."
"Of course he is."
"I know, right? Anyway, so we just became friends and whenever we can, I should say whenever my schedule allows for it, we work on videos with him. I'm not sure how many we've been in. Five? Seven? All I know is that Cage is one of our best friends and there's something between him and Sera that they are in such denial of and I'm afraid they'll never act on."
"I've seen them together. There's no way they'll be able to hold out much longer."
I shrug. "Maybe. I hope so. They'd be happy together but Sera's… different."
"There's a story there."
"There is but one very personal and private."
Jesse nods. "I can respect that."
We're both quiet for a couple minutes, a comfortable silence before Jesse breaks it.
"What did you think when they told you, you were going to be doing a video with us?"
"Ha! They didn't!"
"What do you mean?" he asks with a confused grin.
"Sneaky f*ckers, all of them. Cage, Irene, Spenser, all the assistants… none of them told us who it was, just that it was some big-name band and we'd be happy. It was a 'surprise'."
"So you didn't know until you saw us?"
"Not a clue. Not until Ben strummed his guitar and you sang with me. Talk about a heart-stopping minute."
"We heard you when we walked in the building. You were singing some P!nk song and when we got halfway to you, you started in on Red. We all just kinda stopped where we were and listened. None of us said a word. Your voice," he shakes his head. "It was an incredible thing to hear and then we started toward the sound and when I turned the corner and saw you, I couldn't believe it."
I grin shyly. "Yeah, well. I thought for sure we were going to get bitched out for touching the guitars and Sera on the drums."
"There was no way, after what we'd heard. No way. And then seeing it was you, well, who can yell at you?"
"Oh you'd be surprised," I say with a laugh.
"Bastards, every one of them," he quips. "Seriously though, I knew you were going to be there but I thought it was part of the crew f*cking around." He shakes his head. "To turn the corner and see you and Sera caught up in the music like we do…"
I just nod. I can't think of anything to say.
"Little Lucy who couldn't even speak was standing there singing her heart out six years later."
I turn to look at him a little confused as to what he's trying to say and he glances in my direction.
"You're going to make it. It's going to happen fast, too. You need to prepare for that."
I nod. "I'm not sure how, but we'll try. I mean I know the fans and stuff are going to be much different than they are at movie premieres and things like that. I've been to concerts but I've never been backstage or a VIP or anything so I'm not sure how that all goes."
"It's completely different from what you're used to, Luce. There are so many fans, and they all want a piece of you. They'll reach up on stage to try to touch you and there are days you just don't want to be touched. You just want them to enjoy the music--not you--you know?"
I nod. "Well, from what I've heard you have no issues with the fangirl groupie whores."
He raises a brow. "From what you've heard?"
"Oh yeah. It's common knowledge that you're a manwhore. Jesse Kingston, the man with a new girl every couple hours." I nod. "Yep, it's not news."
He grins. "Really. That's what's being said?"
I nod and twist my fingers in my lap. I hated reading about that, hearing about it from people we've worked with. Manwhore Kingston. I cringe inwardly. It shouldn’t have bothered me. He was just my crush and he was nothing to me, but it did. It bothered me on a personal level which was utterly ridiculous. I knew it and I tried to not let it get to me, I tried to avoid the gossip, and I was successful until our next video shoot. I turn and look out the window as Jesse pulls onto the exit ramp in silence.
He pulls into the parking lot of the hotel instead of in front and I know he's going to talk. I don't want to hear it. I really don't. It's not my business. It's not like I was chaste, though I didn't f*ck everything with a penis either. I sigh and turn to look at him.
"What Jesse?"
He raises a brow. "Well that put a damper on your mood, didn't it?"
I shrug.
"Look Lucy, I can't change my past, what I've done or who I am. Yeah, what they said was true for the first few years we were out on the road, but that gets old after a while."
"So it's just one girl a show then," I say with intended snark.
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "You're going to find out and it may not be the same for you, but after a show, the adrenaline rush..." He shakes his head. "You feel on top of the world. I mean, you just got to do what you love and rock it out in front of fifty-plus-thousand fans and they f*cking loved it. It's like no other feeling I've ever experienced."
I just nod and look out the windshield at nothing in particular. A palm tree. Some desert plants that have quite impressive survivability in the rainless and super dry state of California.
"You don't want to lose that feeling. Then there are the women throwing themselves at you--"
I hold up a hand and look at him. "Stop. I don't want to hear this. You owe me nothing, Jesse. I'm not sure why you're trying to explain yourself or your actions to me. I'm nobody to you, not really. It doesn't matter."
"That's not true--"
"It's true. Thank you for driving me home, Jesse."
He nods, his jaw clenched. "What are you going to do for the rest of the night?"
"First, I'm going to take a nice long shower and rinse off the gross dried leather boobage sweat." I curl a lip. "Then I'll probably put a movie in and turn into a Tijanette for the night."
"A what?"
"A Tijanette."
"What the f*ck is that?"
I laugh. "Okay, something you might not know about me. I love to read. I read every day in my spare time. If I'm not working, I generally read all day and lounge by the pool or whatever. I just--read. It's my escape."
"Okay, what does that have to do with Raisinettes?"
I laugh out loud, so loud and hard that I snort. "Not Raisinettes,Tijanettes. You see one of my favorite author's names is Tijan and her fans or street team is called Tijanettes. I love her stories and there are a couple I haven't read yet, so I'll download it to my Kindle, grab a bottle of wine, and lounge on the oversized sofa with a pillow and blanket because Sera probably set the air conditioning too low and I'll freeze my ass off."
"What movie are you going to watch?"
I shrug. "A chick flick probably."
He cringes. "Well then. Maybe when we've wrapped up everything with the video tomorrow, you'll let me take you out to dinner."
While I'm mulling this over, Jesse starts his car and pulls around to the front of the hotel. I look at him, at the gorgeousness that is Jesse Kingston, and I know what I'm going to do. The potential for heartbreak is high. The potential for love is low. But it's Jesse. I lied to him earlier. I did feel something when we met in Chicago. The zing. The electricity. The heat. It's all still there, stronger than ever and getting stronger every minute he's near me.
"Alright, Jesse. Dinner it is."
He nods, seeming a bit surprised, then a genuine smile blooms across his beautiful face. I can't bring myself to smile. I'm afraid. I'm very, very afraid.
"We'll work the details out tomorrow. We've already exchanged digits so you can call me anytime."
"And you can call me. Convenient how that worked out for you."
He chuckles. "I admit it. I wanted your number."
I smirk. "And now you have it. Do you know how many squealing fangirls would kill for this phone number?"
"Don't even think about it."
I laugh. "I wouldn't."
"Look, Lucy. I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up shit that upsets you. It's just, I don't know. I feel like I need to explain."
"You don't. As I said, you owe me nothing."
"Maybe not but it feels like I do. Anyway, you're going to have guys in your band and I don't know how Sera is or if you'll get another girl, but I know for sure the guys are going to get wild for a while. Hell, you might."
I nod. "I doubt I will but I'm anticipating others will. There will be no skanks on the bus. If they want to f*ck skanks either they f*ck them backstage or in a motel or hotel when we're stopped long enough, but I am not going to listen to groupie giggling all f*cking night."
"Wow. That was a lot of f*cks and skanks. Hot button, Luce? "
"F*cking yes it is. These women are pathetic. Okay, not all of them, but a lot. See, I'll be as straight up with you as you were with me, Jesse. I would have gone backstage with you or wherever to f*ck you, I admit that." Both of his brows raise at this admission. "But, here's the difference between me and a lot of the others. While I would be with you, that's it for me. I wouldn't go to the next band and f*ck that singer or guitarist or drummer. I wouldn't f*ck anyone else from your band. You get what I'm saying? I love the entire band of Falling Down, they guys are seriously hot, but while I'm their fan, I'm mostly yours. You were inspiring to me when I was growing up and I crushed on you big time back then. So, while a lot of others aren't discriminate, they just want a band member, it doesn't matter who, because whoever they get is famous and that means they can brag to their friends or whatever they're using them for, that's not me. Now I'm not talking about the women who might be young or for whatever reason are in a rebellious stage--I'm talking about the ones who make that their life. That's pathetic. Where's their self respect? They use you all and while you think it's okay because you get to get laid regularly and use them in return, I just can't think it's okay. Everyone has a right to their own opinion."
"I get it."
I nod. "Good. Now it's time for me to go wash this gross dried boob sweat off. I hate leather. Just putting that out there in case you missed it the first fifty times I mentioned it."
"Glad you reminded me. I think I forgot." He smirks then leans over and presses his lips softly to mine. My eyes flutter closed and then it's over. I open them to find him looking at me, so closely that I can see those brown and green flecks I noted in Chicago.
"I know you're a good girl, Lucy. You're beautiful and classy. I think maybe you thought I had you labeled under the groupie category. But, Luce, you don’t fit into that category. I know that. Hell, you don't fit into any category but your own. Okay?"
I nod. "Okay."
He gives me another quick kiss and motions to the valet who opens my door.
"I'll see you in the morning, Jesse."
"See you then, Cupcake."
I head into the hotel feeling lighter in some regards and a whole lot heavier in others with just a dash of confusion. I'm glad he knows I'm not a groupie in spite of my fangirling. I almost hate myself for that--almost. But I can't because even though I didn't know Jesse at that time, I admired him. While I think he's a whore, I admire his personality and his love of music.
I put the keycard into the elevator slot for our private floor and check myself out in the mirrored walls. Ugh. I look like hell and yet he called me beautiful. The man needs glasses. I sigh as I step off the elevator and head to my suite. I walk to my bedroom and toe off my shoes and sit on the bed.
What a day. Seven hours of ass shaking is a lot of work and seriously tiring. I'm starving. I call down to order room service, a big fat cheeseburger and fries. I just step out of the shower when my phone beeps. Jesse. I grin.
Jesse: I'm glad you let me drive you home. I want to get to know you, Lucy.
Why? For how long? And what's the point? Yet…
Lucy: I'd like to get to know you too, and that's the truth. I don't know you personally, I only know things second-hand from what I've read or heard or seen, and I think first-hand would be so much better. Oh yeah, double entendre. *winks*
Jesse: I think there's a whole lot of bad girl underneath that good girl, Lucy. I hope you let her come out and play with me sometime.
Lucy: She might be around tomorrow night.
Jesse: I look forward to meeting her too, if she decides to show up. If not, then another time. Goodnight, Cupcake. xx
Lucy: Goodnight, Jesse. Sweet dreams xoxo
Jesse freaking Kingston. I am in so much trouble.