“I’ll never be that again.”
“No. And thank magic.” I sigh forcefully. “The way you were before … Simon Snow, there wasn’t a day when I believed we’d both live through it.”
“Through what?”
“Life. You were the sun, and I was crashing into you. I’d wake up every morning and think, ‘This will end in flames.’”
“I did set your forest on fire—”
“But that wasn’t the end.”
“Baz.” His face crumples, in sorrow now—not anger. “I can’t keep up with you. I’m a Normal.”
“Simon. You have a tail.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Look.” I bring our hands between us and knock up his chin. “Look at me. I don’t want to have to say this all the time. It’s the sort of thing that’s supposed to go poetically unsaid.…” He meets my eyes. “You’re still Simon Snow. You’re still the hero of this story—”
“This isn’t a story!”
“Everything is a story. And you are the hero. You sacrificed everything for me.”
He looks abashed, ashamed. “I didn’t do it for you, exactly—”
“Fine. For me and the rest of the magickal world.”
“I was just cleaning up my own mess, Baz. Like, no one would call you a hero for cleaning up your own vomit.”
“It was brave. It was brave and selfless and clever. That’s who you are, Simon. And I’m not going to get bored with you.”
He’s still looking in my eyes. Staring me down like he did that dragon, chin tilted and locked. “I’m not the Chosen One,” he says.
I meet his gaze and sneer. My arm is a steel band around his waist. “I choose you,” I say. “Simon Snow, I choose you.”
Snow doesn’t flinch or soften. For a moment, I think he’s going to take a swing at me—or bash his rock-hard head against mine. Instead he shoves his face into mine and kisses me. It’s still a challenge.
I shove back. I let go of his hand to hold his neck. He smashes into me, and I take it. I don’t give an inch. (It’s a mess, honestly, and if he cuts his lip on my teeth, it could be a disaster.) When we break, he’s panting. I press my forehead to his, and feel the tension leave his neck and back.
“You can change your mind,” he says.
“I won’t.” I shake my head against his forehead.
“I’ll always be less than you,” he whispers.
“I know; it’s a dream come true.”
That makes him laugh a bit, pathetically. “Still,” he says. “You can always change your mind.”
“We both can,” I say. “But I won’t.”
I should have known that this is what it would be like to dance with Simon Snow. Fighting in place. Mutual surrender.
He puts both arms around my neck and slumps against me. He’s either forgotten that everyone’s watching, or doesn’t care. “Baz?” he says.
“Yeah?”
“Are you still friends with Cook Pritchard?”
“I assume.”
“It’s just—I really hoped there’d be sandwiches.”
AGATHA
The sun shines every day in California.
I’ve got a flat I share with two other girls from school. There’s a little veranda, and I sit out there with Lucy when I get home from class, and we soak in it. The sun.
Lucy’s my Cavalier King Charles spaniel. I found her in the snow outside Watford. I thought she might be dead, but I didn’t want to stop and sort it out. I just scooped her up and kept running.
I know that Penny will never forgive me for running away that day, but I couldn’t turn back. I couldn’t. I’ve never felt more sure of how to stay alive.
I had to run.
*
Technically, the farthest you can get from Watford is just east of New Zealand, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. But California feels farther.
I left all my old clothes at home.
I wear sundresses now, and strappy sandals that tie around my ankles.