Chapter 12
Life resumes. Not as I have planned before last weekend, but as usual, the world doesn't stop turning just because I feel like I should really get my head checked.
Any ideas that Bella and I have discussed before are moot, at least for the time being. She's pretty busy throughout the whole week, as am I, and we don't really feel like doing either of the two scenes we've been talking about. I can tell that she thinks I'm too emotionally unstable as it is so she doesn't want to make me feel even more vulnerable by subbing to her, and I honestly prefer to spend what time we have snuggled up rather than exerting ourselves in the playroom. It doesn't happen often that my taste goes for vanilla over kink, but the fact that Bella doesn't seem to mind is balm on my tortured soul. For all her still present insecurity that her more limited interests aren't the best match for mine it's good to see that vice versa she's not just with me because I'm willing to tie her up and spank her soundly. Whoever thinks it's only the subs who have that kind of trouble has never been in love. Because, quite frankly, nothing like strong feelings screws with your head that way.
By Friday morning I have to admit that my reluctance is also based on something else - I've been dreading Bella's birthday party more than I let on, even to myself. Back in summer with her birthday months away and her parents out of reach it has been easy to crack jokes to put that adorable blush onto her cheeks, but now that the day has arrived I'm all kinds of uneasy. I know I have Renee's full approval, but I'm not sure Charlie will be as happy to see his daughter glued to my side. As far as I know he's always been fond of Mike, and for once I'm wishing Jazz and I were on better speaking terms. He practically grew up in the Swan house, and while I know that Charlie might be suspicious about 'my intentions' with his daughter because he knows about the company Jazz keeps, approval of her best friend would certainly have left a more favorable impression than what we can present now.
I feel like I'm worrying too much and repeatedly tell myself to grow a pair, but there is nothing like your gun toting father-in-law to be to scare any man shitless. I know that the only one whose approval I need is Bella herself, but that doesn't really quell my anxiety.
Working through most of the week pays off as I can at least be home by Friday afternoon, although part of me is mourning the chance to stay away.
A very small part of me that I try to ignore, but that gets harder when Bella comes down the steps from the upper floor, wearing pants and one of those wrap around blouses that accent her body in all the right places -
pouting. I know that look on her face too well by now, she's always wearing it when she's trying hard not to be disappointed but can't really help herself.
I feel a little remorseful myself but I know that I'm not quite in the mental place where I have to be if I want to push her around a little. So no corset, no remotely controlled butt plug for her today, although I'm pretty sure that from the way her pants are hugging her ass she's not wearing any panties.
Chuckling to myself I grab her as she sashays by me, wrapping my arms around her waist and tugging her closer until I can touch my forehead to hers, looking deep into her liquid brown eyes.
"Tease."
She does that irritatingly erotic thing where she catches her lip between her teeth while she's batting her eyelashes at me coyly.
"You're one to say that!"
Before she can go on I brush my lips against her mouth, stopping any further words from spilling forth when I deepen the kiss. A content sigh escapes her that suddenly turns into a high pitched squeal when I reached down and squeeze her ass. Yup, no underwear, and I know she's feeling the bulge in my jeans when I grind my hips against hers. Just because I'm not quite myself enough to keep her physically on edge doesn't mean I have to play fair.
Bella's fingers thread into my hair and she's kissing me hard now, her teeth scraping against my lips while her tongue is rubbing against mine. I try to remember how much time we still have, telling myself that a quickie on the still undefiled kitchen counter should be doable, but Bella's phone chirping to life destroys every hope of that. At least her groan speaks of her sharing my regret, but she's too good a hostess not to answer the phone. So instead of f*cking my girl senseless and relieving some of the stress that keeps restless I check that there's enough beer in the fridge.
Two minutes later Bella puts her cell down again but the moment has passed, although her eyes are still dark with lust.
"Promise, once we get rid of all of them again I'll make good on that."
She laughs, needing no explanation for what I mean with that.
"I repeat, tease! Like we'll have any time for ourselves until next week. You know I'm going shopping with Renee tomorrow, and on Sunday we're invited for lunch with Sue and Charlie, I don't think that sneaking off for a blow job in the restrooms will take care of that itch."
"I was actually thinking of something more involved than that," I admit, scratching my head. Bella cocks one brow but then her phone chimes again, and that's that.
Our guests start arriving soon after. Friends, family, co-workers, a few neighbors, and amongst them also dear Jasper. I feel like ignoring him but that would have been childish, so I leave it at a quick nod that he answers likewise. Making sure everyone is provided for with food and drink is enough of a task to keep me busy, so until a while later I don't even have to pretend to keep myself occupied. I relax a little and tell myself to quit jumping at my own shadow. Way to make a good impression when you look guilty all the time.
My mood changes when Bella sends me inside from the terrace to fetch more napkins and I see Charlie and Jazz chatting over the canapés set on the table. I try to remain calm but my stomach is doing flips nevertheless.
The rational part of me is convinced that Jazz will hold his tongue, but the very same rational part never saw anything coming that the conniving ass dumped on me, so I choose not to listen to it. Trying to act as unconcerned as possible, I walk over to the sink and start running hot water to clean the dishes, hoping that no good Samaritan will join me so I can eavesdrop in peace.
For a while Charlie and Jazz are chatting about things of only moderate interest to me – a few curious cases the Forks PD has had over the summer, how Jasper is coping with some recent changes at work, how things are going with Alice. I'm a little taken aback how little I really care about that last topic, as I've always felt like the protective older brother with Alice, but apparently that has changed, too, with all the other things. Slowly I'm running out of dishes and I consider cutting some bread instead, but then Charlie finally asks the question, and I have to control my urge to put down my work so I can concentrate better.
"So, that Edward, is he a good guy for my Bella?"
A glance over my shoulder shows Charlie trying to look pensive, but I can tell that he's bursting to wring an honest answer out of Jazz. Who shrugs and offers one of his signature All American Boy grins, seemingly unconcerned by the question. I feel the urge to threaten him not to say something incredibly stupid, but considering his present company that would be all of suicidal.
"He's okay. Bella certainly thinks he's good for her."
Now I want to punch him, although his light tone sounds inconspicuous enough.
"Only 'okay', eh?" Charlie ventures, looking concerned. "I thought you two were best buds or something."
Jazz has the nonchalance to shrug, not giving away anything.
"We are," he begins, then something passes over his face that I can't quite catch, "or at least we were," he concedes.
"Something afoul?"
I absolutely hate the suspicion in the Chief's tone, but Jazz disbands the rising tension with a quick laugh.
"Nah, I've been acting like a jerk for a while, and Edward's still pissed at me. Which should probably tell you that he's a good guy, not just okay. It's not like he has any reason not to avoid me."
His words stun but calm me, while they seem to have the opposite effect on Charlie.
"Bella never mentioned that he's one to bear a grudge for long. Do you think she's too, you know, biased when it comes to him?"
"Don't worry, if there's one woman on this planet who can make sense of that guy, it's her. Bella knows what she wants, and it looks as if she's getting exactly that. Girl's come a long way since Forks."
Again Charlie doesn't look too happy with that assessment of his daughter.
"You sure about that? Still feels like yesterday when that boy stood her up before prom, what was his name?"
"Tim Jenkins."
"Jenkins, alright. I just can't see my girl cry, and I don't want any flaky charmer breaking her heart again."
I can tell that Jazz is biting the inside of his cheek when I stealthily glance in his direction, but he shrugs as Charlie keeps on frowning.
"You always thought Mike was a decent, honest guy. Turned out I was right when I told you back then that he's a slimy weasel. Trust me when I tell you that you have no reason to distrust Edward. And if not me, trust Bella. Just look at her, I mean it's been years since she's been so relaxed and happy, I don't think she's in any mood to let you spoil her good time."
He gets a non-committal grunt in answer, and I feel the unease inside of me recede further, only to be replaced by a dubious sense of astonishment.
I know that unlike me or Bella, Jazz is a damn good liar, but he seems sincere in his unprecedented good opinion of me. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks like that, because if anything, Charlie's interest is piqued.
"I don't remember you ever sticking up for any guy Bella's been dating like that."
"You do remember that he proposed to her? I think it's a lot more serious than dating for either of them. Not that they need my approval or anything.
But you have to agree with me, it's Bella who has to be of a mind about him, not you. And I'm sure that any guy you'd approve of, she wouldn't.
Fathers never look for the same qualities in a man than their daughters."
A grudging nod.
"Still, doesn't really say much about him. I still remember you mentioning him being with you on most of your weekend binges in college."
"As were Bella and Alice. What's your point? I think they grew up to be responsible adults both."
Charlie grunts again.
"You know that's not what I meant."
Jazz obviously does, and for a moment one of those mischievous grins appears on his face that got us both into trouble aplenty more times than I can count. A grin I miss, and now tell myself I hate.
"You're actually asking me of all people if I think that the guy who used to be my unwilling wingman more times than not will be a good and faithful husband for Bella? Come on, Charlie, you know that you can't take anything I say at face value, you know me better than that!"
There goes my calm, instantly replaced by my previous urge to punch him.
Ass!
Strangely, Charlie seems more amused than angry at Jasper's statement.
"Not helping his case much, either."
Jazz laughs, but then clears his throat as he seems to cast around for the right words.
"Look, I won't lie, Edward's not the well-mannered, innocent guy you probably want for Bella. He's been around, a bit, but in the end that means he's seen some of the fish in the sea and knows what he has in Bella. Trust me, your little girl's not that innocent herself, even if you'll always see her with pigtails and skinned knees. She wouldn't want a guy who can't handle her, I think she got over that notion with Mike soon enough. But considering what else is available out there on suitable bachelors, I'd say he's a good catch."
"You trust him not to break my girl's heart then?"
Jasper's pause is sending shivers down my back, but he's quick to catch himself and offers Charlie a good-natured laugh.
"I'm too old to believe in fairy tales. Did you think that things would turn out the way they did when you married Renee? But I'm sure that he'll go to great lengths to try to avoid causing her that kind of grief. He's a good guy.
I trust him."
That admission nearly makes me drop the plate I've been drying for the last two minutes, particularly because he sounds so damn sincere. Charlie looks equally surprised when I glance at him, once again proving that while he's not the most versed talker, the Chief is a good observer.
"Even though you two have a beef with each other?"
This time Jazz's laugh sounds a little edgy.
"That's between Edward and me. But I know that if something grave should happen, I can always turn to him and Bella, and whatever might be between us now, they'd help me. Although I'm sure I've deserved it, neither of them would give up on me. Good enough for you?"
Charlie only offers a grunt while he looks sheepish, then steers the conversation back to baseball before it can get any more awkward. I have to admit, I don't have the same kind of faith in myself that Jazz seems to have, but I can't help feel a little relieved.
Yet as the afternoon turns into evening, the very same words start to haunt me, and Bella's concerned looks tell me I'm doing a bad job trying to appear all happy and normal. It's not like anyone is paying me much attention, with it being her day, as much as she seems to squirm through everyone handing over their gifts.
She is positively speechless when she opens the envelope I hand her, containing my official present - the other one still resting in its box upstairs under the bed – and I get some approving smiles from both her and my parents at the weekend getaway at a remote resort I've organized, date to be chosen by my dearest herself. The fact that I can't do wrong in her eyes only adds to the disturbed feeling that's still gripping me from Jasper's admission, and I'm glad when hours later we're finally alone again, kitchen and living room left in a state of utter warfare.
"May I presume that this gift of yours comes with at least some ulterior motives, Edward?" Bella asks, batting her lashes coyly at me just like she has been doing before the party.
I shrug and never miss a beat in loading the dish washer, but do my best to hide the smirk that's creeping onto my face at the question.
"I hear they have a terrific spa at the resort, too, with the main house."
"Edward Anthony Cullen, if you seriously tell me you chose the 'remote, detached bungalow-style apartments' because of the spa, I'm going to be very disappointed in you!"
I flash her a grin at the air quotes she's doing between throwing used cups into a trash bag, and catch her gaze for a moment.
"I don't know, it seemed kind of useful. Afterwards, you know."
"Afterwards?" she echoes, her smile slowly gaining on intensity.
"Afterwards," I repeat, then continue stacking the plates. I don't hear her when she taps over to me, but certainly don't protest when I feel Bella's arms snake around my body as she hugs me from behind.
"Thank you. A very thoughtful gift."
Pushing the tray into the machine, I start the dish washer before I turn around in her embrace and pull her closer, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.
"You're so very welcome."
Bella laughs, a husky sound that reminds me immediately of the conversation her ringing phone interrupted before all party hell broke loose earlier.
"How long do you think will it take to rub down the counter so we can, you know, christen it?"
A look at the heap of dishes and other clutter makes my heart sink, but only briefly.
"Why don't we leave that for another day and go upstairs instead?"
For a second she looks positively hopeful but then her smile dims, and I'm not quite sure what I've done that makes her lose that radiant glow from one moment to the next.
"Sure, I'll just grab a shower, I really don't want to get the new sheets all sweaty."
Now that's a challenge if I ever heard one but she doesn't look coy, and when I don't respond immediately I see her shoulders sag momentarily.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I've been doing so much second guessing these past days, it's hard to break the routine.
Again Jasper's words echo through my mind. If things were to become dire, he'd trust me to overcome my resentments. Bella has told me the very same thing, over and over again, and it takes my uncanny knack for eavesdropping to make me realize that I don't really believe her, same as I don't believe Jazz. But I want to believe them, deep down I know that to a certain degree it's been my own doubt that has kept me from moving on.
There's nothing I can do about Jazz, but Bella is a wholly different matter.
My sweet, frustrated Bella, who seems to be reconciling herself with another eve spent reading in bed and cuddling until we both fall asleep wrapped around each other.
I might be wrong, but suddenly I feel like I have to disappoint my birthday girl.
She lets out a dismal shriek when I grab her from behind, trapping her arms between our bodies while my hand in her hair wrenches her head back, baring the long line of her throat to me. I hungrily kiss the sensitive skin there before I lick a wet line up to her ear, feeling her shiver as her breath leaves her in a nearly inaudible gasp.
"You have ten minutes to clean yourself, then I want you ready for me in the playroom. Understand?"
She's nodding eagerly before I'm done talking, yanking her roots when I don't let go of her hair, but I get the drift she's doing that deliberately. When she tries to turn her head so that her face comes closer to mine I let go of her, sending her towards the stairs with the gentlest of nudges as my hands trail over her sides and ass. Not even stopping to look at me she scrambles up the steps, proving that I guessed the reason for her moodiness right.
I wait until I hear her close the bathroom door forcefully before I set to the task of cleaning up the kitchen island. I really could have chosen a better day for that plan, but quite frankly, for the way I want to tie her up, the padded bench in the playroom is not the right size – and I've never been one to shy away from improvisations. A few minutes of stacking dishes into the sink and I'm done, and a quick rub-down later the cool marble slab is ready for my devious plan.
Then I follow Bella upstairs, already unbuttoning my shirt on the way up.
The socks follow, but I keep my jeans on. Not my first choice of playtime clothes, but I don't want to keep her waiting when she's done showering.
While I snatch up all the utensils from the playroom and deposit them on the floor in the kitchen I try to remember what exactly we agreed on when we were planning this scene together. As I don't think anything I want to do will trigger real unease or even fear I decide to wing it, probably not the best idea, but the only one I can come up with on such short notice.
After all, there are just two things I want to achieve. One, for her to burn off most of the frustration causing all those frowns and worried looks she thinks I never notice. Two, for me to finally get it into my head that I am someone who can be trusted. Bella's always been my salvation, somehow it's fitting that I let her prove that to me tonight.
A quick check of my watch tells me that she has two more minutes. After picking up the blindfold I lean against the hallway wall next to the bedroom door, listening to a series of bumps and low curses coming from inside where Bella seems to be fighting with the bath towel. Grinning, I once again marvel at my own luck of ending up with a wonderful woman like her. I really shouldn't need this for myself, this proof of my trustworthiness, she's done nothing to make me doubt myself ever. In fact she's been happy enough letting me escalate things on a regular basis, never hesitating, never using her safeword when things went beyond what she probably expected. It just took me this long to realize how things have been between us all the time.
The sound of partly dry feet on the floor beckons me out of my musing, and before Bella has moved further than two steps out of the room I'm behind her, drawing her to a halt as I pull the blindfold over her head. It's a padded leather blindfold, held in place with elastic strings, not much larger than a sleeping mask but cutting out all the light. Her breath hitches as her world goes dark, but after several seconds she visibly relaxes, letting me take control.
I leave her standing there for several seconds, close enough that she probably feels the heat of my body at her back, but not touching her. Water still glistens on her skin where she's been too hurried or impatient to properly dry herself, causing strands of hair to stick to her shoulder and upper back.
"Right on time, my beautiful Bella," I finally acknowledge her, lightly wrapping my hands around her upper arms. She doesn't respond but I feel her ease into my grip, her skin slightly cooler than mine.
"Do you still remember what we were talking about a while ago?"
She cocks her head, then nods. "The sensory deprivation scene, Sir?"
"Exactly that," I agree, then plant the lightest of kisses on her bare shoulder, only to be rewarded with another shudder.
"I need you to trust me tonight," I venture on, underscoring my words with a second kiss just next to the first one. "I need you not to second-guess me.
You submit to me, without question." Another kiss, this one closer to her neck. "I'm in control, and I can do whatever I want with you."
By the end of my little speech her whole body seems to vibrate, and she has to swallow twice before she can bring out a husky, "Yes, Sir," that makes my cock twitch.
"Any questions?"
"No, Sir."
I'm glad she doesn't hesitate, but she still stiffens when I let go of her and push the blue plastic ball of the gag into her mouth. Bella's hands twist as if she wants to reach up to her face, but then she relaxes again, not protesting when I fix the straps behind her head. I make sure that the leather doesn't bite into the skin of her cheek but sits snugly enough that she cannot easily press the ball out between her teeth. A light frown has taken residence on her forehead, but with the blindfold in place, I can't really tell if she's annoyed or just slightly apprehensive.
Once I'm done I step behind her again and take hold of her arms, then push her into motion in front of me. I let her take slow but sure steps, stopping when we reach the top of the stairs. Only when I start leading her down into the living room does she stiffen a bit, but I think it's excitement now rather than fear. Downstairs I let go of her and she stops, and only resumes walking after I slide my fingers against hers and take her hand to tug her along into the kitchen part of the room.
A delightfully huffy squeal leaves her when I pick her up and set her down on the island, but she doesn't even fidget and remains sitting there with her back straight and her tits delightfully right in front of my face. A multitude of things run through my mind that I would love to do to her now, but I'm simply not in the mood for a quick f*ck.
Instead I bend down and pick something up from the floor, painting a new frown on her forehead when I place the fingers of her right hand around the rubber ball. Closing my fist further around hers I show her how much to squeeze the toy, until it emits a squeaking noise.
"If you feel like anything is amiss, you need to tell me. Speaking obvious won't work, and I intend to make you grunt and moan so much that I can't really rely on that for a signal. But the second you squeeze the ball I will stop what I do and check on you. Understood?"
Bella nods and compresses her fist, making the toy squeak loudly. Even with the gag I can see the grin on her face, and quickly punish her mirth by leaning in and biting the sweet spot on the side of her neck. I get rewarded with a low moan that goes straight to my cock and decide that I definitely want to hear this sound many times more until I'm done with her tonight.
Her playful mood evens out into relaxed passiveness when I push her down onto the cool marble slab, then push her around until I have her exactly the way I want her – her ass flush with the long side of the island, legs spread and bent right now, and her arms extended. I even fetch one of the pillows from the couch to put under her head – tonight I want her calm and relaxed, something I normally don't go for when I tie her up.
The only flaw in her position is that she can still move, obviously, but that is fixed quickly with a few yards of soft, black rope. I don't think the handles of the drawers and the rail to put the dishtowels up for drying were meant for this exact purpose, but they work really well for me. It only takes me a few minutes to restrain her ankles and wrists to the corners of the island, and add a few more bonds to her arms and legs above and below her joints to make sure that she's properly immobilized.
Once I'm done I step back and admire my work, feeling my cock grow hard in my jeans. The way she's tied down is a delicious compromise between practicality and eye candy, the contrast of the black ropes over her ivory skin atop the charcoal marble nearly a piece of art. Her slightly bent legs beckon to be touched but I hold myself back, instead letting the visual impact do its own thing to my body. I know it's about the same for her, only with the physical feedback from the contrasting signals her skin picks up from the hard, unyielding stone she's lying on and the multitude of pressure points the ropes paint all over her limbs. The fact that she can't see anything and the gag only adds to her feeling of helplessness very likely amplifies the experience tenfold.
After a while she flexes her free hand and tries to test the bonds, but there is no slack to the ropes, even though they hold her in a position that leaves next to no strain on her muscles. With her ankles and wrists slightly twisted there's also no chance for leverage for her shoulders or hips, and when she realizes that she huffs with slight annoyance. She's completely at my mercy, and I'm going to make sure that she'll love every second of it.
Unwilling to wait any longer I step up to the island between her spread legs and lean over her, careful not to touch her. My breath whafting over her body sends shivers through her, and she eagerly turns her face to where she presumes mine to be.
"I can do anything I want to do to you," I repeat my earlier words, speaking slow and in a low tone that I know she finds sexy. "I can touch you anywhere I want," I continue, while I slowly trace the curve of her collarbone with my index finger. "Here, or here," my finger trails down the valley between her breasts, deviating for a moment so I can squeeze her left tit softly. I feel her arch into my palm, or try to, but within a moment the ropes are all taught and she has to accept defeat when I let go of her again. My finger continues its journey from her breastbone down the soft skin of her stomach, but I stop short of her p-ssy, instead trailing a line over her hip and to the ropes that bind her left leg. "Or here."
Bella mewls plaintively and I can see the muscles in her thighs flex as she tries to move her hips, but as with her arms there is not enough give for more than a light jerk towards me. I grin, then lean down and blow air over her p-ssy lips, making her squeal into the gag.
"You see," I continue as I straighten again until my face is right above hers,
"I can take my time exploring your body. Minutes, even hours, and there's nothing you can do about it." While I speak I let my palms roam over her ribs but stay shy of her breasts, close enough to hint but far enough away to tease her. "Of course I could just grab you and f*ck you hard," - that while I briefly grind my jeans covered cock against her p-ssy until she moans loudly, before I pull away - "but where's the fun in that? No, tonight I'll take it real slow."
It's good that she can't see my face because the frown on her forehead makes me grin, and I have to work hard to keep that out of my voice. I'm pretty sure that she has been hoping for some quick, passionate sex, but I'm in no mood to oblige the first part of that wish. The second, we'll see about.
Done with talking, I bend my head down and start to kiss and lick her upper body, spending minutes teasing her neck and breasts until more of those delicious moans escape her. I pay attention that all of my touches are soft and gentle, even when I bring my hands up to massage her tits. I want her to really feel every single touch, adding to the need and lust inside of her until she's ready to burst although I haven't really done anything especially exciting yet. And my plan works, judging by the noises she makes and how she's trying but failing to writhe in her bonds.
Then I make my way lower down her body but I stray a lot, brushing kisses all over her torso while my fingers draw idle lines on the soft skin of her inner thighs. Her moans become louder and deeper, and when I reach her p-ssy, she's already wet and more than willing.
A sigh escapes her when I plant a few kisses onto her slightly puffy lips but that's all I intend to do, and when she feels me step away her whole body tenses as she grunts out in frustration. This time I can't hold back and chuckle, causing another frown to mar her forehead.
"My pretty, pretty Bella, all excited and ready for me, only too bad that I don't intend to take any advantage of you."
She grunts again, this time even louder, and for a moment I think about slapping her to bring her back in line. But as much as I revel in the feeling of being the one in complete control, I don't really care about her being submissive tonight. I even want her to show her frustration, I want her angry and helpless, because for whatever reason that pushes my buttons more than anything else at the moment.
I leave her like that for another minute or two before I walk around the island to where her head is about the only thing she can move. She hears my steps and tries to keep track of them, and her frown deepens when I stop directly behind and above her but neither speak not touch her. Her teeth bite a little into the ball of the gag as she probably tries to gnash them, and I idly wipe some escaped drool from her cheek. Ball gags are always messy that way, another reason why I love them so much.
"Do you want me to continue?" I ask her teasingly, and she grunts angrily before she visibly reins herself in and nods. I even kiss her upper arm between the ropes a few times but then stop again, waiting for her reaction.
She's clearly fighting the urge to try to demand that I go on, but months of being in the role of a rather meek submissive make it hard for her. I know I'm a bad, bad man for enjoying her internal struggle so much, but my cock twitches again when a partially muffled "Please?" leaves her lips.
"Please what?"
I know she can answer me if she really wants to, but she opts to leave it at a plaintive moan, and my dick definitely agrees that that's better than a jumbled sentence. Smiling I kiss her arm again, then move to the other one before I nibble on her earlobe.
"Please touch you again?"
She nods, then moans once more when I don't continue.
"Please make you writhe with need?"
This time she moans already as she nods, and I reward her with a messy kiss and keep sucking on her neck until she moans once more.
"Please make you come?"
She definitely likes that idea and agrees with a new kind of grunted moan, lower and more guttural than I'm used from her. My cock definitely approves.
"I can do that," I go on, nudging the slowly darkening hickey I've just produced with my nose. "But I want a reward for my efforts from you, too."
She nods again, probably excepting me to tell her to suck me off or something, but that would have been too easy. I know that even with Bella being more open about her sexuality than before, she's still somewhat self-conscious at times, and I've been itching for a while to tear those defenses down, just never had the right opportunity. Until now.
"I have every intention of making you come over and over again, but in turn I want to hear you enjoy it."
A new frown appears, this one not angry but plain surprised. Still grinning, I elaborate.
"I can't really see your face with the blindfold, and the gag is making it not much easier to judge your reaction. So I want you to moan and groan, grunt and mewl in pleasure so I know that what I'm doing is the right thing."
I shouldn't be surprised that my words make her blush but of course they do, even down her cleavage to her breasts. I figure she hasn't been realizing how vocal she's been until now, and the fact that she still feels shame about it really doesn't sit well with me. She's quick to nod, though, desperation and her sense of duty to oblige my order overruling her reservations, but that simply won't do any longer.
"And I don't mean only to indulge my wish. I want you to go into yourself and feel the need I'm invoking inside of you. And when there's no other way to let it out – and trust me, I won't just let you come because you need to –
I want you to voice that need, without hesitation."
I kiss her neck one last time, then move up to her cheek, brush my lips against the corner of her mouth right next to the gag.
"I love your moans, and you have no idea what they're doing to me. And tonight I want to really hear you, or else I'll keep toying with you until I'm tired enough to go to bed and untie you without granting you your much needed satisfaction. Your choice entirely."
A last kiss and I step away once more, leaving her on her own for a few minutes while I watch her take one slow breath after another. I can nearly see the thoughts behind her beautiful forehead run wild, but really, it has to be her decision, I've done all the pushing I can.
As cool and blasé as I might be acting, seeing her so frustrated is hard for me. I really want to make her come, and I definitely want to f*ck her, a lot, but my ego is for once stronger than my own horniness. I'm still grateful when she finally lets her head fall to the side in a comic acceptance of defeat, offering me another of those moaned pleas that I don't hesitate to answer this time.
I draw a delighted laugh from her when she feels my fingers rub up and down her p-ssy lips before I spread them, and laughter turns to surprisingly loud moan the moment my tongue licks over her *. I do it again as does she, and when my lips close around her * and I suck hard, she nearly screams into the gag. She's blushing hard as she does it, and when I keep on licking the cry turns into a breathy laugh again that still holds a note of shame, but also sounds delightfully carefree.
My attempt to draw more of those laughs and moans from her is a little too successful, and before long I feel her body start to tense with her impending climax. I can't have that yet so I stop, only to be rewarded with a clearly annoyed grunt. At least that hurdle is gone, I realize, and continue my ministrations, if at a much slower pace. It takes some nibbling on her puffy labia and light squeezing of her breasts to pacify her again, and I at least enjoy myself greatly as I keep her just shy of reaching her orgasm for minutes. She's still a little hesitant with her vocalization, but as time progresses, that fades to the point where she doesn't seem to mind much anymore whether she's sounding like a wanton slut or not. At least her moans are real and not the fake ones of an overtly enthusiastic porn star, something I really appreciate.
After a while my jaw is aching from pleasing her with my mouth, and I decide that it's time for my last bout of evilness for the day. I know she's been as hesitant about this as the gag, but as that seems to be working out just fine, I think I can be a little daring. She'd probably be disappointed if I wasn't.
This time she sounds less frustrated and more tired when I step away from her, her pants loud in the otherwise silent kitchen as I watch her calm down. Bella even moans softly when she feels my hand back up at her breast, stroking the sweaty skin lovingly for a moment. Yet her moan quickly changes into a grunt when the clothespin snaps shut around her nipple, amplified when I do the same on her other breast. Then she's silent once more, and I reach down to rub her * slowly to take away the sting caused by the plastic now biting into her nipples.
I keep rubbing her until I see her relax again, then I add more clothespins to her tits until the soft flesh is haphazardly obstructed with brightly colored plastic. The clothespins are by far not the nastiest I keep in my playroom, but I know that they can develop quite the pinch if left on long enough. One way to make them less painful is always to use them on an already excited victim and keep providing more pleasure, and for that sake I reach for the vibrator I've brought along with the rope.
Her first moan when she feels the vibrating dildo pressed against her * and slid between her p-ssy lips is still soft, but before long she's trying to grind against it just as much as she did with my face before. I toy a little with her, pushing the vibrator against the entrance of her p-ssy but never really inside her, causing her to mewl and plead with me, but to no avail. I only stop when I have her on the brink of coming again, and this time she's clearly, and very loudly displeased with me. I only grin and reach for another handful of clothespins.
A whine leaves her when I put the first clothespin onto her outer p-ssy lip, watching the slick, swollen flesh pinched by the plastic teeth. I add another one to her other lip, just opposite the first one, then wait if she's showing any signs of real pain, but Bella stays silent and doesn't squeeze her ball.
Her brows are knit but I know that look on her face well enough, she's not quite sure if it's pain or pleasure that's at the front of her mind, and that's good enough for me. Quickly adding six more clothespins, three on each side, I complete my plan, and immediately return to rubbing her * with my thumb.
This time it takes longer for her to relax, and I know that by now the clothespins on her breasts, particularly her nipples, must cause a dull, throbbing sensation, bordering on light pain. Trying to be as gentle as possible I spread the neat rows of clothespins on her labia with my thumb and forefinger, then tease her * first with my tongue, then the vibrator again. She clearly likes that, more and louder moans coming from behind the gag, and after I'm sure she's well on her way to coming again – I stop.
What can I say, I'm a bastard.
Bella rears her head up and cries in frustration, and I have to bite my lip hard not to laugh. Only this time she doesn't leave it at that, but a whole string of grunts and muffled expletives follows, making the moment even more delightful for me. As much as I love f*cking her, this is even more rewarding, as is the fact that she can do absolutely nothing to gain the satisfaction she so craves.
While I would love to keep this up, I know that my time window for making it right in the end will be closing soon, so I hurry on while she's still too agitated to really listen to what's going on. My jeans and boxers are discarded easily enough, and the cool air feels great on my straining hard cock. I hesitate for a moment, but she's so wet that I know that she can take just a little more pain before it tips the balance the wrong way, and reach for the duct tape.
Bella's tantrum is cut short when she hears the telltale sound of the tape tearing, and she cocks her head in wonder. Then she whimpers again when I slowly push the four clothespins on the left side of her p-ssy towards her thigh, fixing them to stay in place with the tape, following up with the same procedure on her other leg. The strain and bite of the clothespins gets heightened by that, but I need them out of the way – and she doesn't know yet how much she'll feel that in a minute or two.
Finally done with toying with her I crouch down and attack her * with my lips and tongue while I push two fingers inside her at the same time. If she could she would be arching her back now, but even so her needy cry tells me that she definitely enjoys the attention. It only takes a few licks and she's trembling, not quite ready to come again but close.
Straightening up I grab my cock as I step up to the island and run the head up and down between her spread and clamped p-ssy lips, before I slowly push into her while I keep rubbing her * with my thumb. I feel her cunt contracting around me although she's not coming yet, but instead fighting the unexpected new pain radiating from the lower clothespins. But she's taking it well, only sobs once before the sound turns into a satisfied moan when she feels me fully sheathed inside her. It's f*cking hard not to come right there for me as there's a lot of tension in her p-ssy, and seeing her give in to the pain and actually enjoy it always rattles my restraints.
I withdraw as slowly as I've entered her, about the only thing I can do to keep myself from coming, and she answers with a breathy moan that grows louder when I push back in. My cock is throbbing with the exertion of not taking her fast and hard, but I force myself to keep it slow, increasing the rhythm and depth of my thrusts steadily but at a leisurely pace. Before long I switch my thumb for the vibrator, and Bella's cries become louder as the steady buzz on her * is driving her wild.
She is so beautiful underneath me, crying and moaning as her plastic covered tits sway in time with my thrusts. One after the other I pick off the clothespins until only those on her nipples and p-ssy lips remain, the angry red marks quickly fading as I know the inflicted discomfort must me. I don't know if she even realizes what's going on, her head dug deep into the pillow and all kinds of needy sounds coming from her.
That changes when I take off the clothespin from her right nipple, a gasp of pain sounding between two moans. Bending over her I catch the hurting nipple with my lips and tease it with my tongue, then suck on it gently. She answers with an approving keen and I keep it up until I'm sure the worst sting is gone, then repeat the same on the other side. She nearly comes with this spike of pain, and once I'm done I turn the vibrator on high.
This finally does the trick, and Bella comes undone with a silent scream, her mouth open around the gag before she bites into it hard. First she goes rigid and I feel her p-ssy clamp down on my cock, before she dissolves in convulsive shivers all over. I quickly remove the vibrator but keep f*cking her, drawing out her pleasure for what is probably close to two minutes. I get a little lost in her wonderful gasps and pants, and only when she's done do I realize that I haven't come with her.
I nevertheless feel the weariness in my muscles and the temptation to collapse on her is strong, but I force my head to clear and pull away, the wet sound of my cock leaving her p-ssy oddly comical. Three of the clothespins have come detached from her p-ssy and I slowly take the others off, making her whimper with the pain of the blood rushing back, but it can't be too bad as she doesn't even raise her head.
Once the duct tape is gone I kneel own before her and kiss her tormented p-ssy lips, gently massaging them with my fingers. When I'm sure she has come down from her orgasm I begin tonguing her * again while I keep stroking and rubbing her aching p-ssy, getting rewarded with soft, thoroughly pleased sighs.
Undoing her bonds is a lot faster than tying her up, and before long I can gather my completely spent Bella in my arms, only removing the gag and blindfold after I've hugged her against my chest. Even the dimmed light makes her blink and she grimaces and works her jaw for the better part of a minute, ignoring my silent amusement stoically. I meanwhile stroke her back and kiss her shoulder, and I'm just incredibly happy to hold her.
"That was
damnit, you're such a mean bastard!" are the first coherent words she finally mumbles into my chest, making me laugh almost instantly.
"Yes, I am," I agree good-naturedly, grinning even wider when she thumps my thigh in vexation.
"Seriously! I lost my count, but you had me so close like five times, and always you stopped! By the end I'd nearly given up hope that you would let me come at all!"
I can't help it, I have to keep on grinning, my ego's just been stroked too much to let me tune it down.
"Now that would be plain evil. I told you I would let you come if you'd just put enough effort into showing me that you were enjoying yourself."
"Enjoying myself, my ass," she grumbles into my chest, then hugs me closer as she rearranges herself until she's straddling me. Bella's trying to regard me sternly as she finally faces me, but she's still flushed from coming so hard, and generally looking like the cat who just finished licking up the cream. Even though she tries to fight it, her lips curve into a smile when our gazes meet, and I pull her closer for a long, gentle kiss that she joins readily.
"I love you," I murmur against her lips before I gather her even closer while continuing to ravish her mouth. My voice is so laden with emotion that I know she must be wondering what's going on, but her tongue is eager against mine, as are her fingers combing through my sweat-slicked hair.
She's rocking against me unconsciously, and for a moment I wish I could will my hard-on away that's intruding on this tender moment, but then her hand is there, and the next moment she is guiding me inside of her, a warm and wet welcome. I feel her shake with silent laughter when I emit a low groan, before she leans back onto the marble and draws me on top of her.
"As much as I'd love to ride you into oblivion for what you just did to me, I have to let you take over again, my thighs are just too knotted up from that constant tensing, and then more tensing when I still can't come, and then -"
I cut off her chuckled diatribe with a hungry kiss, and grabbing her ass to tilt her pelvis the right way, make do happily with her instruction. I come fast once I feel her sharp nails dig into my back, and Bella happily hugs me hard once I'm spent, so close that I should be feeling her heartbeat through her skin.
Once I regain my strength I slide off the kitchen island, drawing her along with me, and when she still doesn't let go I pull her legs up around my hips and carry her up into the bedroom this way, the heavy mood from earlier quickly dispensing between my weary stumbling and her laughing at it. I try to get back at her for that in an attempt to tickle her while I wash her body, but she's a lot faster to recuperate than I am, and in the end it's me who is pinned against the tile floor, begging breathlessly for mercy while she's kneeling over me. Satisfied with having had her revenge Bella finally lets me get up, and before long we both tumble into our bed, too lazy to clean up the mess downstairs.
I find myself smiling at her contently as she draws the blankets up around us, but instead of snuggling into my body so I can spoon her, she mirrors my position, regarding me with those expressive, brown eyes.
"You're happy," she finally observes, sounding just the same herself.
"I am," I agree. "Why shouldn't I be, I have a wonderful woman at my side who lets me do all kind of perverted and devious things to her and loves me for just being who I am."
Her smile brightens and she shimmies closer, a gentle hand cradling my cheek. I briefly turn my face into her caress and kiss her palm, before I look into her eyes again.
"I'm glad you finally realized that."
Her words make me pause for a moment, then I offer her a sheepish smile.
"Am I that obvious?"
Bella shakes her head and laughs, then comes even closer until she straddles me again, but this time only to lie down on my chest and prop her chin up on her hands there so she can stare me right in the face from up close.
"Not really. For a long time you've been a huge mystery to me that only got darker and larger after that one faithful Sunday afternoon when I did the scariest thing in my life and came over to your house in just a shirt, skirt, and shoes. But the more I know the real you, the easier it's getting to see through all the layers of pretense and defensive mechanisms, and once you let me in, you're not really that much of a mystery anymore."
"Damn, and there I thought I did such a good job at deceiving you," I joke, but her light smile makes me go serious instantly again. "Thank you. For putting up with me through all this. And still loving me."
Her kiss is soft and gentle, and now it's her eyes that are brimming over with emotion.
"You know that I will always love you, Edward. I love you because you are you, and not someone else. You don't need to be anybody else, just you. I only want the real you."
My throat is suddenly tight and I feel the lump in my chest trying to overwhelm me, so I quickly kiss her deeply until the pain goes away, and I can breathe again. Her gentle touches still speak of her knowing exactly how close to crying I've just been, but she lets me get away with it uncommented.
"I just wonder what made you finally realize that. I mean our talk last weekend has been important, I know that, but I somehow don't think it was that much of a revelation for you as it for me."
I'm happy when she lets me tug her against my side so she doesn't keep staring right into my face, although I don't really have anything to hide; the scrutiny just makes me a little leery.
"I don't really know," I start, then bite my lip because I do know, and should know better than lie to Bella now. So I sigh, and spill my guts.
"I happened to listen in to a conversation between Jazz and Charlie today -
"
"You mean you eavesdropped," she chides me softly, grinning.
A dramatic sigh, but I nod.
"Yes, I eavesdropped on them, but only with the best of intentions. Which was, mostly, to get a head start should Jazz divulge any details that might send you dad running for his shotgun to end my miserable existence."
Her laughter tickles the side of my neck, and I have to admit, it's quite infectious.
"He'd never do something like that."
"Oh, I'm sure Charlie would do worse than just shoot me if he knew what we've just done in the kitchen."
Bella chuckles and hides her face in my arm pit for a moment before she goes on.
"No, I meant Jazz. It's simple self-preservation that he keeps his trap shut, as he's mired in this nearly as much as we are. Maybe even more when it comes to the 'Die, scum, you broke my little girl's heart!' thing. After all, you are too nice a guy to pull such a stunt on your own."
"Too nice, eh?" I ask flatly, but her smile stays as warm as before.
"Edward, whatever you did, and for what insane reasons or lack thereof, I know pretty well who's responsible for what happened. I know that you weren't actively trying to go behind my back, I know that you'd never deceive me. Your fault was to trust your closest friend, and quite frankly, if I hadn't been so upset and insecure I would have reacted a whole lot differently. And I'm ashamed that it took our fight last week to make me realize that I've let you take too much blame for too long. As I said, you're a good guy, maybe too good for this world sometimes."
I probably should be happy about her words, but they only make me angry.
"Wait, now you're switching from blindly defending him to even more blindly defending me?"
"I'm not, I just wanted to -"
I interrupt her surprised gasp quickly before she can elaborate.
"Don't. Just, don't. I know what I did, and trust me when I tell you that I'm so not proud of my actions. But it doesn't help anyone to twist the truth long enough until it's a lie all over again. I cheated on you, and even if it was just a kiss and some groping and I'm sure it wouldn't have been more, I still shouldn't have done any of those things. And you forgave me, because you're a better person than I am, and you love me, and you know how much I love you, and we both agreed to move on, consider it as a thing of the past and a warning for me to better not f*ck it up again, because this is my second chance, and the only one I ever want and will ever need.
Nothing more."
My words stun her, maybe even hurt her, but I need to stress my point, even if I end up offending her.
"Edward, that's not what I meant. I agree with you, and I'm glad we both see it the same way. What I wanted to say, and what I would have said if you would let me speak, is that just because the trust you put in someone once was betrayed while you inevitably did the same to me, doesn't mean that you can't trust anyone anymore, or can't be trusted in turn. Can we agree on that, too?"
Her somewhat acidic tone makes my affirmative answer more of a grunt than a "yes", and she sharply nods in acknowledgement.
"Very well. So can I in turn presume that your attempt at stealthiness this afternoon somehow kindled the spark of that realization that you then had to follow up on by driving me insane on your latest, and let me assure you very appreciated, control trip?"
Bella's tone stays as clipped as before but she has a hard time trying not to grin, and my repeated grunt has lost most of its grumpiness also.
"Awesome! Now that that's out of the way, may I presume that we're one step closer in mending all the hurts and ouchies that plague your mystery of a soul?"
"I guess we are," I concede, then draw her down to me and kiss her, thanking her that way while she keeps laughing whenever I let her come up for air.
"And," she pants as she rears back, grinning down at me. "May I presume that you know that I had a great time following your request of being more vocal?" she moans out the word while her eyes sparkle with mirth. I nod, answering her smile with one of my own.
"And may I presume that those nasty contraptions that hide their true purpose by pretending to be clothespins will make a repeat appearance some time in the future?"
"Only if you ask me very nicely to use them again."
Her radiant smile is answer enough, although the following chuckle bodes well, too.
"You know, I was really uneasy about them when you talked me into agreeing to let you use them. I even kind of expected you to hold me to that promise the moment you blindfolded me today. And when you had them on my p-ssy lips and pushed into me, I very much hated you, for a second or two. But then that distinction between pain and pleasure became really blurred, and I kind of stopped caring which of both was the predominant sensation, and I guess the fact that I came for like forever tells you just how much I enjoyed them in the end. Although you kissing the pain away afterwards was really very sweet, and felt so incredible that I think I'd want to try that again even if I hadn't liked the pinch at all."
Smiling, I kiss her nose. "You're so very welcome, my love."
"I was a little surprised that you did that. With the nipple clamps before I always had the feeling that you were just sucking on them afterwards to draw out my discomfort a little longer, but today you kept going quite a while beyond that, letting me enjoy the sensation fully."
Her admission is definitely news to me, and for a moment I feel a little chagrin. I should probably have asked her before just how she feels about the clamps and my attempts to soothe her aching nipples afterwards, but I kind of always assumed that her arching her back and moaning loudly was a good thing only. Not that it's a huge deal, and I'm sure she would have spoken up if she'd been really uncomfortable, but it's a good reminder for me not to take anything for granted.
Following the impulse to make my own shortcoming up to her I reach for her breast and gently stroke my thumb over her nipple twice. Bella's lids flutter closed and a sigh escapes her, enticing me to lean down and capture her other nipple with my lips, letting my tongue do the same as my finger.
"Yes, like that," she moans, and I stop only for a second to glance up at her in surprise before I go on, slightly intensifying my sucking.
"Why are you looking at me so strangely?"
Giving both of her nipples a last, wet kiss I lie down again, my face right next to hers.
"Just a little surprised to hear you say something like that."
Of course that makes her blush but she doesn't look away, although she catches her lip between her teeth in a somewhat defiant way.
"You said you wanted me to speak up more, so here you are, this is me being more vocal! Any objections?"
"None at all. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough."
She grins as I draw her closer for a kiss. "Good boy."
That makes me stop with my mouth inches from hers, and I playfully nip at her chin instead of kissing her. "Someone's getting cocky, eh?"
Her throaty laugh is neither admission nor negation, and all the more answer for that.
"Don't you remember the other scene we've been talking about? The one where you get to be begging me for release on your knees while I have my revenge on you for all the times you kept me hanging?"
Nibbling at her chin again I kiss a quick line up to her ear, delighting in the way her breath hitches although she tries to stay all calm and collected.
"No, I haven't forgotten, and you have no idea just how much I look forward to that."
Bella laughs and kisses me, her teeth in turn nibbling on my lower lip, before she sighs contently and closes her eyes, still smiling. I watch her for a moment before my own lids droop shut, and I'm nearly asleep when she speaks up again.
"Just what did Jazz or Charlie say to make you change your mind like that?"
I'm too tired to open my eyes again, but the answer's easy enough to give.
"Jazz said that for whatever reason we're not on the best of terms right now, he knows that if he's ever in need of a real friend, he knows he can come to me and trusts me to help him."
I can feel her stiffen beside me so I pry my eyes open, finding her unwavering gaze studying me as if she's trying to read the truth behind that statement from my face.
"And is that the case?"
I let my breath escape me noisily while I try to find the right words.
"Nothing has changed from what I told you last week, as far as being friends with him, I'll be very glad to keep any interaction to a minimum. If I never have to talk to him I won't be heartbroken. But if you want to remain friends with him, and if he shows up on our doorstep needing us, of course I'll help him. Not for his sake, but for yours, and a little for my own, too."
Her eyes are still so full of questions that I sigh and go on.
"Bella, I've spent half of my life wondering what is wrong with me. And ever since I f*cked up, that's turned into something very close to real self loathing. But I don't want this to break me, to eat me up and keep hurting you this way, and I know it will if I don't ease up on myself. And for whatever reason, hearing him say to Charlie that when it comes to the worst, he still trusts me, I don't know, that made something inside me click.
I know it should have been your love and your forgiveness that makes me feel worthy in your eyes, but we both know that when it comes to the subject of me, you're utterly biased. But I don't think that there's anyone out there who hates me as much as Jazz does, and when he can move on, well, so should I, don't you think?"
She nods slowly, then kisses me again before she settles back down onto my shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me. And yes, you should."
I'm weirdly glad that I told her, even a little proud, but as I drift off to sleep I realize that I probably told her a few things she really didn't have to know.
Anyone but her would probably have ignored them, but she's not anyone, and I know that I just dug the foundation for our next talk some day in the future. I don't really know if I should be apprehensive of that, or happy. I guess that's a part of loving someone, too.