Wolves of the Calla (The Dark Tower #5)

"A little of both, but I'm better with miles."

She nodded. "Mayhap two thousand miles so" - she pointed north - "and twice that, so ." To the south. She remained that way, pointing in opposite directions, then dropped her arms, clasped her hands in her lap, and resumed her former demure pose.

"And these towns... these Callas... stretch the whole way?"

"So we're told, if it please ya, and the traders do come and go. Northwest of here, the Big River splits in two. We call the east branch Devar-Tete Whye - the Little Whye, you might say. Of course we see more river-travel from the north, for the river flows north to south, do ya see."

"I do. And to the east?"

She looked down. "Thunderclap," she said in a voice Eddie could barely hear. "None go there."

"Why?"

"It's dark there," said she, still not looking up from her lap. Then she raised an arm. This time she pointed in the direction from which Roland and his friends had come. Back toward Mid-World. "There," she said, "the world is ending. Or so we're told. And there..." She pointed east and now raised her face to Eddie's. "There, in Thunderclap, it's already ended. In the middle are we, who only want to go our way in peace."

"And do you think it will happen?"

"No." And Eddie saw she was crying.

TWO

Shortly after this, Eddie excused himself and stepped into a copse of trees for a personal moment. When he rose from his squat, reaching for some leaves with which to clean himself, a voice spoke from directly behind him.

"Not those, sai, do it please ya. Those be poison flurry. Wipe with those and how you'll itch."

Eddie jumped and wheeled around, grabbing the waistband of his jeans with one hand and reaching for Roland's gun-belt, hanging from the branch of a nearby tree, with the other. Then he saw who had spoken - or what  - and relaxed a little.

"Andy, it's not really kosher to creep up behind people when they're taking a dump." Then he pointed to a thatch of low green bushes. "What about those? How much trouble will I get into if I wipe with those?"

There were pauses and clicks.

"What?" Eddie asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Andy said. "I'm simply processing information, sai. Kosher : unknown word. Creeping up . I didn't, I walked, if it do ye fine. Taking a dump , likely slang for the excretion of - "

"Yeah," Eddie said, "that's what it is. But listen - if you didn't creep up on me, Andy, how come I didn't hear you? I mean, there's underbrush . Most people make noise when they go through underbrush."

"I am not a person, sai," Andy said. Eddie thought he sounded smug.

"Guy, then. How can a big guy like you be so quiet?"

"Programming," Andy said. "Those leaves will be fine, do ya."

Eddie rolled his eyes, then grabbed a bunch. "Oh yeah. Programming. Sure. Should have known. Thankee-sai, long days, kiss my ass and go to heaven."

"Heaven," said Andy. "A place one goes after death; a kind of paradise. According to the Old Fella, those who go to heaven sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty, forever and ever."

"Yeah? Who's gonna sit at his left hand? All the Tupperware salesmen?"

"Sai, I don't know. Tupperware is an unknown word to me. Would you like your horoscope?"

"Why not?" Eddie said. He started back toward the camp, guided by the sounds of laughing boys and a barking billy-bumbler. Andy towered beside him, shining even beneath the cloudy sky and seeming to not make a sound. It was eerie.

"What's your birth date, sai?"

Eddie thought he might be ready for this one. "I'm Goat Moon," he said, then remembered a little more. "Goat with beard."

"Winter's snow is full of woe, winter's child is strong and wild," said Andy. Yes, that was smugness in its voice, all right.

"Strong and wild, that's me," Eddie said. "Haven't had a real bath in over a month, you better believe I'm strong and wild. What else do you need, Andy old guy? Want to look at my palm, or anything?"

"That will not be necessary, sai Eddie." The robot sounded unmistakably happy and Eddie thought, That's me, spreading joy wherever I go. Even robots love me. It's my ka.

"This is Full Earth, say we all thankya. The moon is red, what is called the Huntress Moon in Mid-World that was. You will travel, Eddie! You will travel far! You and your friends! This very night you return to Calla New York. You will meet a dark lady. You - "

"I want to hear more about this trip to New York," Eddie said, stopping. Just ahead was the camp. He was close enough so he could see people moving around. "No joking around, Andy."

"You will go todash, sai Eddie! You and your friends. You must be careful. When you hear the kammen  - the chimes, ken ya well - you must all concentrate on each other. To keep from getting lost."

"How do you know this stuff?" Eddie asked.

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