"Sue, thee disobeyed me in the matter of the guns," he said at last.
She looked at him, smiling, half-amused and half-angry. "Does thee wish to be back in thy cell, then? Thee and thy friends?"
"No, of course not. Such bravery!" He held her close and kissed her. When he drew back, they were both breathing hard. He took her by the arms and looked into her eyes. "But thee mustn't disobey me this time."
She looked at him steadily, saying nothing.
"Thee knows," he said. "Thee knows what I'd tell thee."
"Aye, perhaps."
"Say. Better you than me, maybe."
"I'm to stay at the hut while you and the others go. Sheemie and I are to stay."
He nodded. "Will you? Will thee?"
She thought of how unfamiliar and wretched Roland's gun had felt in her hand as she held it beneath the serape; of the wide, unbelieving look in Dave's eyes as the bullet she'd fired into his chest flung him backward; of how the first time she'd tried to shoot Sheriff Avery, the bullet had only succeeded in setting her own clothing afire, although he had been right there in front of her. They didn't have a gun for her (unless she took one of Roland's), she couldn't use one very well in any case ... and, more important, she didn't want to use one. Under those circumstances, and with Sheemie to think about, too, it was best she just stay out of the way.
Roland was waiting patiently. She nodded. "Sheemie and I'll wait for thee. It's my promise."
He smiled, relieved.
"Now pay me back with honesty, Roland."
"If I can."
She looked up at the moon, shuddered at the ill-omened face she saw, and looked back at Roland. "What chance thee'll come back to me?"
He thought about this very carefully, still holding to her arms. "Far better than Jonas thinks," he said at last. "We'll wait at the edge of the Bad Grass and should be able to mark his coming well enough."
"Aye, the herd o' horses I saw - "
"He may come without the horses," Roland said, not knowing how well he had matched Jonas's thinking, "but his folk will make noise even if they come without the herd. If there's enough of them, we'll see them, as well - they'll cut a line through the grass like a part in hair."
Susan nodded. She had seen this many times from the Drop - the mysterious parting of the Bad Grass as groups of men rode through it.
"If they're looking for thee, Roland? If Jonas sends scouts ahead?"
"I doubt he'll bother." Roland shrugged. "If they do, why,we'll kill them. Silent, if we can. Killing's what we were trained to do; we'll do it."
She turned her hands over, and now she was gripping his arms instead of the other way around. She looked impatient and afraid. "Thee hasn't answered my question. What chance I'll see thee back?"
He thought it over. "Even toss," he said at last.
She closed her eyes as if struck, drew in a breath, let it out, opened her eyes again. "Bad," she said, "yet maybe not as bad as I thought. And if thee doesn't come back? Sheemie and I go west, as thee said before?"
"Aye, to Gilead. There'll be a place of safety and respect for you there, dear, no matter what . . . but it's especially important that you go if you don't hear the tankers explode. Thee knows that, doesn't thee?"
"To warn yer people - thy ka-tet."
Roland nodded.
"I'll warn them, no fear. And keep Sheemie safe, too. He's as much the reason we've got this far as anything I've done."
Roland was counting on Sheemie for more than she knew. If he and Bert and Alain were killed, it was Sheemie who would stabilize her, give her reason to go on.
"When does thee leave?" Susan asked. "Do we have time to make love?"
"We have time, but perhaps it's best we don't," he said. "It's going to be hard enough to leave thee again without. Unless you really want to . . ." His eyes half-pleaded with her to say yes.
"Let's just go back and lie down a bit," she said, and took his hand. For a moment it trembled on her lips to tell him that she was kindled with his child, but at the last moment she kept silent. There was enough for him to think about without that added, mayhap ... and she didn't want to pass such happy news beneath such an ugly moon. It would surely be bad luck.
They walked back through high grass that was already springing together along their path. Outside the hut, he turned her toward him, put his hands on her cheeks, and softly kissed her again.
"I will love thee forever, Susan," he said. "Come whatever storms."
She smiled. The upward movement of her cheeks spilled a pair of tears from her eyes. "Come whatever storms," she agreed. She kissed him again, and they went inside.