“I—well, not with either of you guys.”
I smile. “Good. That’s good. You used to flinch even from us.”
His eyes lose focus for a moment, and then he smiles too. “I guess you’re right.”
I absently swirl what’s left of my wine. “Remember how we talked about you being concerned about getting into bed with a guy you’ve never been with before?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Maybe there’s an easier step you could take first. With someone you know and trust but haven’t slept with before.”
Michael’s about to take a sip of wine but freezes, staring at me. Then his eyes dart toward the house, and he nearly drops the glass in the water. “Wait, do you mean—”
“Yes, I do.” I shrug, eyeing the kitchen door in case Ian starts heading back this way, and as I speak, tick off the points on my fingers. “You know him. You seem to be okay with touching him and him touching you. And I can vouch for him being completely sane and safe in the bedroom.” I lower my hand back into the water. “It’s something we can think about. Doesn’t have to happen tonight.”
Michael watches the kitchen door. “Actually, I like the idea. And the sooner the better—I want these demons out of my head. Ian’s the perfect guy for this if he’s on board.” He pauses, avoiding my eyes for a second. “I, uh, was kind of thinking of suggesting him myself.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He moistens his lips. “Do you think he’ll want to?”
“Not sure. I thought he was allergic to anything besides monogamy until recently, so anything’s possible.”
“Worth a shot.”
The sliding glass door opens. Ian’s on his way back now.
Michael and I exchange glances.
“It can wait,” I say quietly.
He shakes his head. “No. I’m in.” As he watches Ian cross the yard, dressed only in soaked black swim trunks and carrying a bottle of wine, he grins. “I’m definitely in.”
I chuckle. “Dirty bastard.”
“Not my fault you married a hot guy.” He winks.
“Can’t argue with that. But—” I glance at Ian, who’s nearly at the gazebo, and whisper, “You sure?”
Michael nods.
Ian slips back into the water and tops off all our glasses. As he takes his spot beside me, everyone swirls, sips, swallows, but nobody speaks. The silence drags on, and it’s quickly getting conspicuous.
Ian eyes us both suspiciously. “What? You two are quiet all of a sudden.” He gives me a good-natured glare. “Did I interrupt a Walking Dead conversation?”
Michael laughs. “No, not quite.”
I chuckle, shaking my head.
“Then…?” Ian’s forehead creases.
“Uh…” Michael looks at me, eyebrows up. You got this?
I guess it makes sense for me to be the one to bring it up. Good thing I’m so great at improv. Wait. Fuck.
I clear my throat. “So, um. About this, uh, arrangement Michael and I have right now.”
Ian arches an eyebrow. “Mmhmm?”
I glance at Michael. He nods before taking a deep swallow of wine, and I turn to my husband. “Would you be game to join us?”
“Join—” Ian’s eyes have never been wider. “Join you?” He turns to Michael. Then me. Michael again. “Spell this out for me.”
“Well, we started all this because Michael’s been with me before. And now he’s comfortable with me again, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll be okay with someone completely new.”
Michael nods. “So maybe a stepping stone would be someone I know but have never been with.”
Ian blinks. “Like me?”
“Yeah.” Michael cringes a little. “This all sounds insane. If you’re not interested, it won’t hurt my feelings. I’ll find a way to get over all—”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” Ian says softly. He turns to me. “You’re sure about this?”
“I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I wasn’t, don’t you think?”
“Still…”
I take Ian’s hand beneath the water. “It’s ultimately Michael’s decision who he’s comfortable with, but as far as whether I’m okay with you doing it? I can’t imagine anyone I’d trust more. Especially under the circumstances.”
Ian turns to Michael. “And you’d really want me?”
Michael nods, and a sheepish little grin forms. “Quite a bit, to be honest.”
Ian’s blushing now too. “Oh. Wow. Uh, how does…” He clears his throat. “How do we even start? I’m not exactly a virgin, but I’ve never had anything start out like this.”
I laugh. “I guess it is a bit weird.”
“Well,” Michael says, “we could start out with, you know, kissing or something.” His cheeks get a little redder, even though they’re already flushed from the wine and the hot tub. “If we like that, we take it from there.” He rubs the bridge of his nose and laughs. “My God. We sound like kids playing Spin the Bottle for the first time.”