Chapter 4
Tuck paced outside his tent until the sun pushed up over the desert landscape to the east. No matter how he went over the conversation he’d had with Delaney, the ending didn’t come out any better. As always, he drove away the women he met. Purposely, and with no regrets, for the most part.
Until Delaney.
Most of the women he’d pushed out of his life had been civilians, clueless about the life he led as a SEAL. All they saw were his taut muscles and sharp uniform. They never understood why he worked out, why he remained in top physical condition, or the pressures of running an operation. They would never know what killing someone felt like or understand the aftermath of losing a buddy in combat. That hollow, aching feeling and the constant instant-replay going on a SEAL’s mind analyzing what went wrong, what he could have done differently that would have saved his fallen comrade’s life.
Delaney would. She was as close to the action as she could get without being boots on the ground. As a member of the 160th Night Stalkers, she flew into areas most pilots would be afraid to fly. Being shot at was part of the job description. She’d accepted the danger along with the responsibility and honor of being a part of the squadron.
She was a good pilot, a strong woman, and so beautiful she made Tuck ache. Then why the hell had he pushed her away?
Because she wanted what he couldn’t give. Commitment. She’d never asked for it, but he could see it in her face.
Damn Reaper for exposing the elephant in the room. The one thing he’d always shied away from. Now, if he didn’t come to terms with his deep-seated aversion to long-term relationships, he’d lose Delaney. Possibly to his best friend.
The man foremost in his thoughts emerged from the tent, shirtless, wearing his PT shorts and tennis shoes. "Hey, you up for a morning run before the temp gets too hot?"
Exhausted from a sleepless night, but too wound up to rest, Tuck grunted. "Yeah. Might as well." He pulled his tank over his head, and tossed it into the tent. "Let’s go."
They set off, heading for the perimeter of the compound, remaining inside the wire where running was relatively safe without fear of tripping an improvised explosive device (IED). For the first lap, they ran in silence.
Then, breaking silence, Reaper said, "I’ve been thinking about how I can show O’Connell I’m serious."
Tuck’s heart and feet missed a beat and he stumbled, righting himself immediately. After several more paces, he responded. "Are you sure she’s the right one for you?"
"Never more sure in my life. She’s special."
Unfortunately, Tuck couldn’t argue with that. She was and he knew it. Then why the hell couldn’t he tell Reaper to back off, that, Delaney was his?
Reaper shot a glance his way. "You think she’s holding back because she’s got someone else in mind?"
"You’d have to ask her." Tuck gritted his teeth.
"Not that I’m afraid of a little competition. I know there are plenty of men for her to choose from, and she’s hot enough to have her pick of the litter."
"She’s not choosing puppies." Tuck wished Reaper would stop talking about Delaney. "Hell, she might not be in the market to choose anyone. Seems to me, she’s pretty career-minded. Didn’t she say she plans on being a lifer?"
"That doesn’t mean she can’t have a relationship, get married, and have kids."
"Flying for the 160th kinda precludes that, doesn’t it?"
"The kids part for the time being, but not necessarily the rest."
"You two are in different branches of service. You’ll never get stationed in the same place."
"I can live with a long-distance relationship. We won’t be in the military forever." His arms chugged at his side. "And when we do retire, we’ll have the rest of our lives to spend together."
"You both have no less than ten years left on your commitment, right?"
"Right." Reaper frowned at Tuck. "So?"
"That’s ten years of seeing each other on weekends, if you’re stationed anywhere near the other’s base, or once a month if you’re not."
"If a couple loves each other enough, they can make it happen. I’d be willing to make the commute as often as possible. O’Connell is worth it."
Tuck thought about what Reaper said. Right now, he’d move heaven and earth to be with Delaney as often as possible. But would that longing last? For ten years or more?
None of his parents’ many marriages had lasted ten years. Five, tops. And they were together every day. What were the chances he could keep a marriage alive that long, if he dared to make the same foolish mistake as his parents and get married to begin with?
"Hey, isn’t that O’Connell ahead?" Reaper’s words knocked Tuck back into the here and now.
His pulse sped up at the sight of Delaney in her short, black shorts and gray army T-shirt, jogging ahead of them.
"No time like the present to start my campaign to win her heart." Reaper picked up the pace to catch up to Delaney.
His gut churning with anxiety, Tuck sped up as well.
"Uh, Tuck." Reaper slowed and shot a sideways glance. "You’re crampin’ my style, dude."
Tuck nodded and slowed, giving Reaper the lead, when he really wanted to trip him and take it himself. Without telling Reaper why he didn’t want him to catch up to Delaney, Tuck had no reason to be angry with his friend. But he was.
Angry, tense and...jealous.
F*ck.
Reaper caught up to Delaney and fell in step beside her.
Tuck slowed, jogging at a distance far enough away he couldn’t hear their conversation, but close enough to hear Delaney’s laughter. His chest tightened and before long, he had a hard time regulating his breathing. Finally, he slowed, turned, and ran in the opposite direction. He’d jog in the heat of the day rather than watch Reaper woo his girl. Instead, he ran sprints near the volleyball nets until he couldn’t stand it a moment longer. After a while, he walked back toward his quarters, the long way. The path that would take him back by Delaney’s tent. When he realized what he was doing, he almost turned around and headed back for more sprints.
Until he saw Delaney step out of the shower tent wearing clean shorts, a T-shirt and carrying her robe, towel, and toiletries in hand. That robe was the clincher.
Tuck’s groin tightened on sight at how beautiful she’d been wearing it last night in the moonlight. And how naked, soft, warm, and wet she’d been beneath.
He sped up, determined to catch her. What he’d say when he did, he didn’t know. Tuck only knew he had to say something. This deal with Reaper was eating at him and somehow the reaction had to stop.
Before he reached her, Reaper jumped out from another path, carrying a giant teddy bear with a big red bow tied around its neck.
Delaney ground to a halt and laughed.
At the sound, Tuck’s gut knotted. Even her laugh was sexy. Damn.
She accepted the teddy bear, hugging it close and burying her nose in the soft fake fur.
Where in hell had Reaper gotten a teddy bear in the desert?
Wherever he’d acquired it, Delaney was enjoying it more than Tuck liked. She leaned around the bear in her arms, lips puckered, aiming for Reaper’s cheek.
Reaper turned at the last second and her kiss landed square on his lips. The a*shole grinned, captured Delaney’s cheeks between his palms, and kissed her again. "I knew you’d taste that sweet. And that’s just the beginning."
Tuck’s fists balled and he lunged forward. Before he’d taken two steps, Delaney shook her head. "Cory, I don’t—"
"Don’t decide anything." Reaper pressed a finger to her lips. "I’m not done yet. Be watching."
Reaper left before Delaney could complete her sentence.
Damn. Surely she’d been about to tell him to take a hike. After kissing her like that, she should have slapped him.
Unless...
Tuck stopped still in his tracks. Was it possible she could fall for Reaper?
After last night?
Delaney stared down at the bear. "What am I going to do with you?" She turned toward her tent, her gaze finding Tuck standing like a lunk in the middle of the path.
Her smile immediately turned down at the corners. She marched toward the tent, passing him with barely a glance. "What are you doing here, Tuck?"
"You kissed him."
"So?" She stopped in the doorway.
"Why did you let him kiss you again?"
"Why does it matter to you?" She hugged the bear closer, like a shield between them.
Tuck wanted to rip the damned bear from her arms and tear it to shreds. "You don’t love him."
"I could learn to love him. At least, he cares enough about me to share his feelings."
"Is that what you want?" He gripped her arms, the fuzz of the bear’s fake fur burning against his skin. "You want me to share my feelings? I’ll share. I’m pissed as hell."
"I don’t see why?"
"You know damn well why."
"I know that you aren’t into commitment. I know from your track record that you’ve pushed away every woman you’ve ever let closer than a one-night stand."
"I didn’t care about them."
"And you care about me?"
His grip tightened for a second then he loosened his fingers. "Yes."
"Enough to say three simple words?"
"What words?"
"Oh, forget it. We have nothing left to say. I’m done." Shrugging away from his grasp, she ducked into her tent and closed the door behind her.
"We’re not done until I say we’re done," Tuck practically shouted, making the group of soldiers in uniform passing by at that moment turn and stare. "What are you looking at?"
"Man, you need to turn down the volume. Some people are still asleep," a staff sergeant said.
Tuck wanted to tell the staff sergeant to shove it, but thought better of that declaration. He outranked the guy and therefore had to set the example. And he wasn’t doing a good job of it. Which made him even madder.
When the soldiers had disappeared around the corner, Tuck lowered his voice and said, loud enough for Delaney to hear, "Delaney, be reasonable. Come out and talk to me."
A red-haired woman wearing a sand-colored T-shirt and her army combat uniform pants poked her head out the tent door. "Captain O’Connell asked me to tell you to get lost. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger." She raised her hands and shot a glance over her shoulder, then whispered. "But she’s kinda mad, and talking will do you little good. Try later. And if that doesn’t work, I’m off duty at seven tonight." She grinned and ducked back into the tent.
Wanting to rip the canvas off the structure, Tuck bit down on his tongue to keep from shouting his frustration, performed a tight about-face, and marched back to the tent he shared with Reaper. Damn right he’d be back later. Despite Delaney’s declaration, the relationship wasn’t over until it was over.
"Oh my, sweetie, he was mad." Lindsay dropped onto her bunk, a smile spreading across her face. "He’s the SEAL you were talking about last night?"
Delaney set the teddy bear on the bed and replied through tight lips, "Yes. Perhaps the most aggravating man on the face of the planet."
"And the sexiest. Wow." She fanned herself.
The movement made Delaney’s anger spike even more. "Don’t get too excited. The man doesn’t have a heart."
"No heart?" Lindsay’s eyes widened. "Who cares? With a body like that, who needs a heart?" She reached for her boots and slipped a socked foot into the left one.
"I do." Delaney stared down at the stuffed animal.
"Did he give you the bear?"
"No, that was from his best friend."
"Oh." Lindsay clamped her lips closed for a second, then opened them again. "The one who proposed? I take it mister macho saw the whole thing and wasn’t too happy."
Delaney nodded, the tension knotting her shoulders. She rolled her neck. "He has no right to be mad. If he didn’t want Cory to go after me, all he has to do is tell Cory I’m his girl."
"But he won’t."
"No."
"And you want him to."
"Yes." Delaney slumped onto her cot. "I want it so much, it hurts."
"I’m sorry."
"Me too." Her lips twisted as she stared across the narrow aisle between their cots. "You didn’t sign on to hear my whining about men. I’ll stop dumping my troubles on you."
"Honey, I’ve been eating sand for six months. Your love life is a breath of fresh air and helps to break the monotony. Dump away." She shoved her foot into the other boot and pulled the laces tight. "Unfortunately, I’m on duty in fifteen and I want to stop by the mess tent for a bite on the way. Save it all for me when I get off tonight. That is, if you’re not working. Do be careful, if you are. I like having a roommate."
Delaney hugged the woman. "Thanks. I appreciate your patience and the shoulder to cry on."
"Anytime. Just stay out of my workspace."
Delaney frowned.
Lindsay smiled. "In other words, don’t get injured or sick. I love seeing you, but not for those reasons." She stepped through the door, calling back over her shoulder, "See you later."
Left alone, Delaney dressed in her flight suit and boots and headed for her helicopter to talk with the maintenance crew. She wanted to do a complete check on the systems and assess any damage incurred when the bullets had been flying the night before. Arriving at night, she hadn’t gotten a good look at the craft. She hoped the work would take her mind off her personal problems long enough to calm down. She’d need to get some sleep. The missions she flew were invariably at night and she’d need to be at her sharpest. Military matters trumped matters of the heart any day.
Or so she told herself.
Tuck returned to his tent, steaming hotter than the desert sun at midday.
Reaper was doing sit-ups, his feet hooked beneath the legs of his cot. "Have a good run?"
"Hell no." He bit out. Reaper had left a wadded T-shirt on the floor between the two cots. "Can’t you pick up after yourself?"
Reaper crunched a few more sit-ups and stopped. He rose, retrieved the shirt, and stuffed it into his dirty laundry bag hanging from a tent pole. "What bug crawled up your ass?"
"Who said I had a bug up my ass?" Tuck ached for a fight. He needed to put his fist through something. And right at that moment, Reaper was the closest to him and the source of most of his anger. All he needed was an excuse and he’d land a fist in his roommate’s face.
"Well, if you’re not mad about something, you’re mad at someone. Let me guess. Is it the commander? Did he ask you to clean the head?"
"I’m not mad at the commander."
"Then who are you mad at? I’m not into twenty questions right now. I have to get to the mess tent before O’Connell. I want to leave a candy bar for the cook to give her as a special treat."
"That’s it." He rounded on Reaper, his fists clenched. "That’s the reason I’m so jacked up."
"Because of a candy bar?" Reaper stared at him. "I have another if you want it."
"No, I don’t want your goddamn candy bar. I want you to leave Delaney alone."
Reaper’s brows dipped toward the bridge of his nose. "O’Connell? Why? Did the commander find out I was courting her?"
"No. The commander doesn’t know anything. But I do, and I want you to stop seeing Delaney."
"Why?"
God, could he do this? Tuck shoved a hand through his hair and turned away. "Just because I asked you to."
"Sorry, Tuck. That answer isn’t good enough."
Tuck struggled for one that made more sense when his own thoughts weren’t clear to himself. "You’re not the right man for her."
"I’m not?" Reaper grabbed his arm and jerked him around. "Are you saying I’m not good enough for her? Just because I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth doesn’t make me inferior. I’m a good SEAL, I make a decent living, and I care about her more than I’ve cared about anyone else in my life."
"That’s not enough."
"Why?" Reaper crossed his arms. "Give me one good reason why."
"Because..." Heat built in Tuck’s neck, rising up into his cheeks. He felt like his head might explode. "Just because, damn it! You’re not right for her."
"And what made you qualified to be the judge?"
"You’ve never been serious about a woman before. You flirt with every female you come into contact with."
"I’m done with flirting. O’Connell is the only one for me."
"How do you know? Another woman could come along and off you’d go, panting after her. Where would that leave Delaney?"
"I’m not going after another woman. I only want her."
"What if she doesn’t want you?" Tuck gritted his teeth, ready to tell Reaper the truth. But something made him stop and hold his tongue. She’d pretty much ended it with him.
"I told you. I’m out to convince her. Either you’re with me on it, or..." With a shoulder block, Reaper shoved Tuck. "Stay the f*ck out of my way."