The new officer was Junior Rennie.
'Well, look at you,' Junior said. 'Don't look quite so ready to beat guys up with your fancy Army tricks right now.' He raised the hand holding the sheet of paper and rubbed his left temple with the tips of his fingers. The paper rattled.
'You don't look so good yourself.'
Junior dropped his hand. 'I'm fine as rain.'
Now that was odd, Barbie thought; some people said right as rain and some said fine as paint, but none, as far as he knew, said fine as rain. It probably meant nothing, but -
'Are you sure? Your eye's all red.'
'I'm f**king terrific. And I'm not here to discuss me.'
Barbie, who knew why Junior was here, said: Ms that water?'
Junior looked down at the glass as if he'd forgotten it. 'Yeah. Chief said you might be thirsty. Thursday on a Tuesday, you know.' He laughed hard, as if this non sequitur was the wittiest thing to ever come out of his mouth. 'Want it?'
'Yes, please.'
Junior held the glass out. Barbie reached for it. Junior pulled it back. Of course. It was how these things went.
'Why'd you kill them? I'm curious, Baaarbie. Wouldn't Angie f**k you no more? Then when you tried Dodee, you found out she was more into crack-snacking than cock-gobbling? Maybe Coggins saw something he wasn't supposed to? And Brenda got suspicious. Why not? She was a cop herself, you know. By injection!'
Junior yodeled laughter, but underneath the humor there was nothing but black watchfulness. And pain. Barbie was quite sure of it.
'What? Nothing to say?'
'I said it. I'd like a drink. I'm thirsty.'
'Yep, I bet you are. That Mace is a bitch, idn't it? I understand you saw service in Iraq. What was that like?'
'Hot.'
Junior yodeled again. Some of the water in the glass spilled on his wrist. Were his hands shaking a little? And that inflamed left eye was leaking tears at the corner. Junior, what the hell's wrong with you? Migraine? Something else?
'Did you kill anybody?'
'Only with my cooking.'
Junior smiled as if to say Good one, good one. 'You weren't any cook over there, Baaaarbic. You were a liaison officer. That was your job description, anyway. My dad looked you up on the Internet. There isn't a lot, but there's some. He thinks you were an interrogation guy. Maybe even a black ops guy. Were you like the Army's Jason Bourne?'
Barbie said nothing.
'Come on, did you kill anybody? Or should I ask, how many did you kill? Besides the ones you bagged here, I mean.'
Barbie said nothing.
'Boy, I bet this water is good. It came from the cooler upstairs. Chilly Willy!'
Barbie said nothing.
'You guys come back with all sorts of problems. At least that's what I breed and see on TV. Right or false? True or wrong?'
It isn't a migraine making him do that. At least not any migraine I ever heard of.
'Junior, how bad does your head hurt?'
'Doesn't hurt at all.'
'How long have you been having headaches?'
Junior set the glass carefully down on the floor. He was wearing a sidearm this evening. He drew it and pointed it through the bars at Barbie. The barrel was trembling slightly. 'Do you want to keep playing doctor?'
Barbie looked at the gun. The gun wasn't in the script, he was quite sure - Big Jim had plans for him, and probably not nice ones, but they didn't include Dale Barbara being shot in a jail cell when anybody from upstairs could rush down and see that the cell door was still locked and the victim unarmed. But he didn't trust Junior to follow the script, because Junior was ill.
'No,' he said. 'No doctoring. Very sorry'
'Yeah, you're sorry, all right. One sorry shack of sit.' But Junior seemed satisfied. He holstered the gun and picked up the glass of water again. 'My theory is that you came back all f**ked up from what you saw and did over there. You know, PTSS, STD, PMS, one of those. My theory is that you just snapped. That about right?'
Barbie said nothing.
Junior didn't seem very interested, anyway. He handed the glass through the bars. 'Take it, take it.'
Barbie reached for the glass, thinking it would be snatched away again, but it wasn't. He tasted it. Not cold and not drinkable, either.
'Go on,'Junior said. 'I only shook half a shaker in, you can deal with that, can't you? You salt your bread, don't you?'
Barbie only looked at Junior.
'You salt your bread? Do you salt it, motherfucker? Huh?'
Barbie held the glass out through the bars.
'Keep it, keep it,'Junior said magnanimously. 'And take this, too.' He passed the paper and pen through the bars. Barbie took them and looked the paper over. It was pretty much what he'd expected. There was a place for him to sign his name at the bottom.
He offered it back. Junior backed away in what was almost a dance step, smiling and shaking his head. 'Keep that, too. My dad said you wouldn't sign it right away, but you think about it. And think about getting a glass of water with no salt in it. And some food. Big old cheeseburger in paradise. Maybe a Coke. There's some cold in the fridge upstairs. Wouldn't you like a nice cone Cole?'