He didn’t have to close his eyes to see the other men. They were with him, always. “I don’t know why I made it and they didn’t. I only know that when my friends dragged me out of there, I knew I was never going back. I was never going to risk their pain. I had learned my lesson.”
What if he’d known about Carter, he thought grimly. How much worse things would have been. How—
Or was that true? He’d had nothing to miss, which he’d always seen as a strength, but he’d also had nothing to live for. Once he’d been rescued, he’d had nothing to keep him moving forward except the knowledge that he was alive.
Morgan had talked about being unable to fit in and how his Audrey had saved him. Would Carter have made a difference? Would Felicia?
The phone lines lit up. Gideon figured he was going to get an earful and pushed the first one.
“Don’t you think you’ve been punished enough?” a woman asked. “Gideon, there’s no reason to blame yourself for surviving when those other men didn’t. Only God knows the answer, and if you spend too much time asking, you’ll waste what you’ve been given. A chance with your son and Felicia. That’s the real crime. Not that you lived, but that you’re not living now.”
He didn’t recognize the voice, and he had no idea who she was. “All right,” he said slowly. “Uh, thanks for calling.”
The second caller was a man. “War is hell. Thanks for serving, son. Thanks to all who serve. Now, walk away from what you did and walk toward what matters. When you’re old and ready to meet your maker you’re not going to be thinking about what you did or what you owned. You’re going to be thinking about the people you love. So get to it.”
There were several more calls just like that, followed by what sounded like a teenage girl requesting less “really old songs and more Justin Bieber.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Gideon said with a chuckle and hung up.
He leaned back in his chair. This was what Felicia wanted, he thought, getting it for the first time. A community to care. People who would tell her when she was being an idiot and when she was on track. A safety net and all the other clichés about being surrounded by people who loved you and whom you loved back.
He stood, prepared to claim, to be a part of this. Then the memories were back, the screams, the pain. The knowledge that even though his body was alive, he’d already given up. And by giving up, he was dead.
The red button flashed. Someone was at the back door. He tore off his headphones and raced to the rear of the building. When he jerked open the door, he grimaced.
“You,” he grumbled.
Angel raised his eyebrows. “I was expecting more of a greeting.”
“You’re not who I was expecting.”
His friend studied him. “No. I’m not who you wanted. No offense, but you’re not my type, either. I came to finish your shift.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t leave dead air out there. I’ve watched you put the CDs in and push the button. I can do it.”
“I’m not leaving.”
Angel shook his head. “You’re as stupid as you look. You’re leaving because a woman like Felicia comes along once in a lifetime. Because if you don’t go after her, someone else will. You’ve been given a second chance. Didn’t that guru guy in Bali teach you anything? The only way to heal what’s wrong with you inside is to love her and trust her.”
“Like you know anything about being in love?” Gideon paused, belatedly remembering that Angel’s wife and son had been killed. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry.”
Something flashed in Angel’s eyes. A sharp pain that cut to the soul. Gideon recognized it because he’d felt it himself.
“Apology accepted,” Angel said. “Having gone through what I did, I know you’ll regret losing Felicia until your last breath. I know that you’ve finally found where you belong, and there’s no way you can stay here without her. What’s that line from that stupid movie? She completes you, bro. Only it’s more than that. You have a woman who understands you and a kid like Carter and you’re confused?”
Gideon felt as if someone had hit him on the side of the head with a two-by-four. For a second, the world went dark and quiet, and then it all cleared again. He had been looking for answers about why he had survived and there were none. Or maybe the answer was twofold: Carter and Felicia.
He looked at his friend, the one who had risked his own life to pull him from that Taliban prison.
“I owe you,” he said quietly.
“Yeah, I know. Now get out of here.”
Gideon pulled his truck keys from his pocket and headed for the parking lot. He turned back and yelled, “Keep it clean. We have kids listening.”
Angel laughed.
* * *
FELICIA DROVE QUICKLY but carefully. She was willing to go five miles over the speed limit but not much more. Not while still in town.
“This is taking forever,” Carter grumbled.
“I don’t want to get in an accident.”
Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)
Susan Mallery's books
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- Just One Kiss
- Chasing Perfect (Fool's Gold #1)
- Almost Perfect (Fool's Gold #2)
- Sister of the Bride (Fool's Gold #2.5)
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- Only Mine (Fool's Gold #4)
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- Almost Summer (Fool's Gold #6.2)