Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)

She also found pleasure in knowing her way around the large, open kitchen. At first she’d been intimidated by the cupboards and drawers, not knowing what went where or what half the items were for. Gideon had admitted to hiring a decorator to furnish the house. He’d bought the bed in the master and the sofa in the media room and had left everything else to her, with instructions to keep things simple and masculine.

The woman had taken his instructions to heart everywhere except the kitchen. While the plates were simple white squares and the appliances were stainless, the decorator had bought every kitchen gadget ever made. Felicia was still figuring out what some of them were. She was intimidated by the food processor, although the thought of using the dough hooks that had come with the passive mixer was getting more interesting by the day. She could imagine the comforting smell of baking bread on a cold, snowy winter day.

As she put the brownie pan on the cooling rack, she wondered if she would still be living here when it was snowing. She and Gideon hadn’t discussed their future. Per their agreement, they were supposed to date and nothing more. He was teaching her how to be with a man so she could find someone normal to fall in love with. Carter had shown up and challenged all that. Now she wasn’t actually dating, but she was living with a man. She thought maybe that was instruction enough.

But she was less sure about leaving. She liked the big house and the views of the mountains. More, she liked being around Gideon. Even when he was emotionally distant, walking the floors in the hours of darkness, she felt closer to him than she ever had to anyone else. She liked knowing he was nearby.

Since they’d made love again, he slept with her—those few hours when he slept. Knowing he was going to be in the bed with her made her feel safe. Odd, considering she rarely felt unsafe. She supposed it was because he understood her better than most and still seemed to like her. She could be herself and know she wouldn’t be judged. She trusted him.

She heard footsteps and turned to see Carter walking into the great room toward the kitchen. The teen had been quiet all through dinner. Her instinct had been to let him be. He would talk when he was ready. She hoped she was doing the right thing by letting him decide when or even if he wanted to talk.

When it came to him, she was never sure she was doing the right thing. She found herself worrying about him at odd moments, which made no sense. He was obviously capable. But she couldn’t shake the feeling.

He leaned against the counter. His face was pale and his eyes slightly red. She wondered if he’d been crying again. The thought of his emotional pain made her own heart ache.

He pointed at the pan. “The brownies smell good.”

“The scent of chocolate baking diffuses very nicely.”

He flashed her a smile. “There you go again, with the funny talk.”

She sighed. “I’m too literal, but I’m working on it.”

“You shouldn’t change. You’re honest. You’ve been there for me.”

Felicia wasn’t sure where “there” was, but she decided it didn’t matter. “You’ve been through a lot. I respect how you’ve handled a difficult situation. I was on my own when I was your age, and I know it’s tough. You’re here now, and I hope that makes you happy. I want us to be friends.”

He nodded and glanced away. “I’m sorry about what happened before. On the mountain.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I yelled at you and Gideon, and you hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“Was it because you were having...a moment?” she asked, hoping she wasn’t saying the wrong thing.

He shrugged. “I guess. I miss my mom.”

Her mind searched for linkage and possible solutions. She ignored everything that was logical and went with what made emotional sense.

“Are you worried that liking your dad and living here is being disloyal to her memory?”

“And you.” He swallowed. “My dad is kind of distant. He was better over the weekend. We talked and stuff and I liked that. But you’re the glue.”

“Oh, Carter.”

She crossed to him and wrapped her arms around him. He hung on, holding her so tight it hurt. But she didn’t complain, didn’t ask him to let go. And when his body shook and she heard the cries he tried to silence, she promised herself she would never let go. Figuratively, of course.

After a few minutes, he straightened and drew back. He wiped his face with the back of his hand.

“I miss her,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “Every day.”

“Nothing is going to change that. Your feelings for your mother have a special place in your heart. She will always be your mother. Given the choice, I know you’d rather be home with her than adjusting to life here.” She paused, wanting to get it right. “But whatever happens, Carter, you can always come to me.”

“Are you and Gideon going to get married?”

An unexpected question. “No. He doesn’t want that kind of involvement.”

“Don’t you love him?”

Another unexpected question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never been in love before. We’re dating. I like him very much.”