“Her? Who are we talking about, Charlie, because you didn’t know that girl on the television.”
He lay back on the couch and kicked off his shoes. “I’m talking about Megan. The girl on the news reminded me of Megan.”
Anna could hardly believe the turn the evening had taken. Upon seeing Charlie again after all these years, she’d vowed to keep her composure, and at first she’d done well, but remaining indifferent was becoming increasingly difficult. Seeing Charlie in pain made her chest ache and her throat tighten. “So you got good and drunk. That’s a super mature way to handle your emotions.”
Right, just like lashing out at Charlie was a super mature way to handle her own .
“I’m not drunk.”
“Then why did you ask me to drive you home?”
“Because I’m buzzed, and I can’t afford to drink and drive, even if I’m not wasted. I won’t get behind the wheel if I’m not one hundred percent and you know that.”
She relaxed her stance and swallowed hard. Charlie’s parents had been killed by a drunk driver—Charlie’s dad. Charlie rarely drank, so when he did it was a big deal.
“And besides…” He aimed a sloppy version of his famous lady-killer grin at her. “…It made a good excuse to get you over here. Will you stay?”
Wishing she’d kept her keys in hand, she started digging through her purse for them. Way too much junk in there, receipts, candy, pennies. Her hands were shaking. Charlie Drexler had just asked her to stay. How many of her teenage fantasies had revolved around that scenario? But his reaction to the evening news tonight had made it gut-wrenchingly clear that Megan’s ghost still stood between them. And if her ghost still stood between them after all this time, no doubt it always would. The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach served as an anchor to reality. “Hell no.”
“Not just no? Hell no? You were all smiles and manners earlier, and now for no apparent reason, you’ve got smoke coming out your ears. What gives?”
She took a deep breath. It was a fair question. Without having located her keys, she allowed her purse to slide off her shoulder, nudged Charlie’s feet forward to make room for herself on the couch and sat down. “I’m not mad.”
“That’s a flat-out lie.”
True. “You hurt me.”
He sat up and scooted to within inches of her. “Tonight?”
Yes. “No.” Apparently, she was jealous of a dead woman. Nuts. That was too crackers to admit. “No, only… I can’t believe you’re still not over Megan.”
“I’m not sure what you mean by that. Megan killed herself precisely because I was over her. It was my fault. At least that’s how it felt at the time.”
She gritted her teeth. She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. All she wanted was to go home, back to the safety of not thinking about ancient history. She’d managed to slip free of the noose Charlie’d lassoed around her heart once—next time she might not be so lucky. Charlie’s eyes were downcast; his hands were fisted. Her hand burned with the need to reach out to him. She turned it palm down on her knee. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It’s taken me a lot of years and a lot of therapy to realize Megan must’ve had deeper problems. High-school sweethearts break up all the time without anyone winding up six feet under. But at the time, I didn’t understand that, and it hurt like hell to think I’d done that to Megan. I had to get away from everything—from Tangleheart—before I came apart too.”
Well, there you had it. The explanation she’d needed from him all those years ago.
Closure.
Highly overrated.
Charlie left town because he couldn’t deal with his feelings about Megan’s suicide. Perfectly understandable and what she’d figured all along. He ran away from his whole falling-down world, not from her specifically. His words should have made all the pain go away, and yet they didn’t.
“So you understand why I had to leave?”
She did—she always had. But it hurt like hell anyway. She said nothing.
“Eight hours after my girlfriend is found dead, I come home to find my best friend—to find you—waiting to tell me you love me. Surely you can see how overwhelming that was for me.”
Nodding, she reached for her purse, started rummaging again. “I never would have told you if I had known about Megan.”
“I didn’t want to wind up hurting you, too. I didn’t feel like I had a choice.”
“You always had a choice. You just made the wrong one.”
“You expected me to fall down on my knees and declare my undying love for you in a situation like that?”