Three Little Words (Fool's Gold #12)

THE CABIN BY LAKE TAHOE had enough of the basics to be comfortable. Most of the time there was electricity. The large open room contained two sets of extra-long bunk beds, a table and chairs, most of a kitchen and a big sofa. There was a wide front porch with chairs and a view of the lake. The area was beautiful, quiet and isolated. Ford cared only about the last two, but the view was nice when he bothered to look.

He owned the cabin with several buddies. They came up here when they needed to get away. When life was too stressful or after one of those missions that came with ghosts. But even after three days, he couldn’t seem to find what he was looking for.

Whoever he’d been was gone. Isabel had changed him, and he couldn’t go back to who he’d been. He also didn’t know how to move forward, which left him in a hell of a pickle.

He knew he missed her. Missed her more than he’d thought possible. More than he’d ever missed anyone. He needed her to breathe, and right now he was a man gasping for air.

But... Always but. How could he be with her? She deserved so much more than he had to offer. She needed someone to love her and cherish her. He wanted to say he could do it, but he’d never really loved anyone. Never wanted to stay. When the woman got serious, he got gone. His current location illustrated his inability to break the pattern.

He heard the sound of a truck in the distance. The intrusion wasn’t completely unexpected. He’d known someone would come looking for him. He rose and stretched, then walked down the two steps leading to the gravel driveway and rounded the corner.

Only the guy getting out of the truck wasn’t Angel or Gideon. It wasn’t even Justice. Instead Leonard stood by the truck, a small suitcase in one hand.

Unexpected, Ford thought, returning to the cabin. He pulled a second beer out of the refrigerator and took it out to Leonard. Then he sat in his chair and propped his feet up on the railing.

The lake was the deepest blue he’d ever seen. The leaves had all changed and nearly half were gone. Winter was coming. Not this week, but soon.

Leonard dumped his suitcase in the cabin, then took the seat next to Ford’s. He picked up the beer and twisted off the cap, then took a seat.

“You ready to talk?” Leonard asked.

“Nope.”

By the next afternoon, Leonard was obviously frustrated enough to spit nails. Ford was impressed he’d lasted as long as he had. Just sitting. When it had gotten dark, the two men had gone inside, and Ford had grilled a couple of steaks he’d bought at a store off the main highway. They’d eaten in silence, then listened to the radio before going to bed.

But now Leonard was squirming in his seat.

“I’m not going to just sit here,” he said, glaring at Ford. “I have a family to get home to.”

Ford nodded toward the driveway. “I’m not keeping you.”

“I’m not leaving without you.”

Ford settled more deeply into his chair. “Then you have a problem.”

Leonard got up. He’d put on a little muscle, but was still scrawny. Still, he was a good man, and Ford appreciated the effort.

“I’m fine,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Leonard pushed up his glasses and glared at him. “I’m not here about you. I’m here because of Isabel.”

Ford did his best not to wince at the name. Hearing it made him think about her, which made him ache. Not that he’d been able to forget her for even a second, but still.

“You’re walking away from the best thing that ever happened to you,” Leonard told him. “Being a part of something important—a family—is what life’s about. You could marry her, be a father. Why would you ever want to turn away from that?”

Ford studied the man. Leonard was telling the truth as he knew it. For him, Maeve and the kids were everything. Ford respected that, even if he would never have it for himself.

“You have a real chance with Isabel,” Leonard continued. “But it’s not just her I’m worried about. Maeve isn’t happy.” Leonard puffed out his chest. “I’m willing to do anything to make Maeve happy.”

Ford straightened in his seat. He believed Leonard. Love gave a man courage where he didn’t have a right to any. Leonard would take him on because it was the right thing to do.

“You’re a better man than I’ll ever be,” he said, rising. “But I’m not going back.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not like you. You’re right. What I have with Isabel is more than I deserve. She’s my fantasy come to life. She’s adorable and funny and sweet, but I don’t love her. I can’t. I’ve never been in love with anyone. I just don’t have whatever it takes to have those feelings.”

“That is such crap.” Leonard’s expression turned pitying. “Seriously? Is that the best you can do?”

“It’s true.”

“It’s not true. You’re capable of love and a whole lot more. You’re not emotionally stunted. Look at your loyalty to your team. You would have died for them.”

“Yeah, but that was different.”

“Not the principle. What about with your mother? You were willing to do anything not to have to hurt her feelings. You love her. You love your family.”