Shaz sat stiffly beside us. He didn’t seem at all put off by the vampire’s admittance.
Worry and love emanated from him, and again, I wondered how I had gotten so lucky to have someone like him in my life.
I could see Harley in my mind, his fangs sunk into my white wolf. Shaz was Alpha now, and I knew he was everything that meant and more. I had to accept that Shaz was as much a part of the supernatural and its dangers as I was. Doing this would be good for all of us. It wasn’t just about me.
“I said what I had to say. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Shaz pulled me close, pressing the warmest kiss to my lips. The love that filled me was unlike anything I’d ever known, and the power of it brought tears to my eyes. A few spilled over before I could blink them away, and I quickly wiped at them.
“I’m not upset. I’m just overwhelmed by the affection you have for me.” I smiled and kissed him back with the intensity of what I was feeling. “I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Ever since Harley told me there would be others coming for me … I think I should do it. Now. Tonight.”
Arys looked up sharply, a combination of fear and relief in his eyes. “Are you sure?
You should take some time to think it through.”
Shaking my head, I forced back any second thoughts before they could infect me.
“He won't stop, and there will be others. We started this Arys, and we have to maintain it.
I want to do what I have to, to protect ourselves and everyone in our lives. Let's do it …
now.”
Arys was a total fit of nerves, and I couldn’t help but vibe off him. His energy tickled me so that I wanted to scratch, but the feeling went beyond the physical surface of my skin.
I frowned in uncertainty. “Arys? This choice is yours, too. You don’t have to do this if you’re having doubts. We’re only bound by power; we don’t have to come full circle and make it blood and body as well.” It wasn’t like Arys to show this type of anxiety. He was always so cool and pulled together.
“Oh, I’m not having any doubts.” The surprised expression on his handsome face had me shaking my head in wonder. “I’ve never wanted any creature the way I want you, Alexa. It's my control I'm worried about. I don't want to kill you.”
I couldn’t have been any more astounded. Shocked didn’t begin to describe what his words made me feel. I had no control over the sudden increase in my heart rate. “Excuse me?”
His face was a mask of anguish. “The blood bond is so much deeper than anything we’ve ever done before. It’s called the wicked kiss for a reason, Alexa. To bond you, I have to take all you have to give but not so much that it takes you to the point of death.
It’s very precarious, and I don’t trust myself to stop if I take it that far.” He gazed down into my eyes, and I saw the predator in him, the one I had seen every time I looked at him before we’d become intimate.
Was I so blinded by lust and power that I had failed to remember that he was a vampire? A killer. When had I stopped fearing him?
“Why are you afraid?” Arys asked with concern in his voice, but there was a new hunger in his eyes. Shaz was silent, but I knew he was watching us with a keen awareness.
“I’m not.” I had to force myself to meet his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know. I think I just realized that even though there's something between us, you’re still a vampire.”
He chuckled, a soothing sound that manipulated my fear into excitement. “That’s what you love about me. The ruthless killer … the darkness. You need that in a lover, because it’s what you are.”
His comment left me unsettled. Shaz stirred uneasily, and I flushed, hating the side of me that went beyond a natural predator. Capturing my hand in his larger warm one, Shaz turned to Arys. “Once you do this, there is no way that he can bind her. Right?”
The vampire stared at Shaz until he appeared uncomfortable. Then he gave a slight nod. “She will be mine, and no other vampire can bind her.”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?” I asked, watching Arys. His strange mood piqued my interest.
“But,” he flashed a smile at me that made my knees weak. “You will still be a mortal werewolf with more power than you know what to do with, and therefore, still a target.
And, don’t forget, my love; we will be bonded on every level, not just metaphysically.
Mind and body will also be bound in many ways, some of which are unknown to me. I’ve never bound any mortal.”
I touched Shaz’ face, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Are you completely sure of how you feel about this?”
“No,” he admitted, chewing nervously on his lower lip. “It’s not easy for me to be part of this, but this isn’t about making me comfortable. This is about what’s best for you.