Chapter THIRTEEN
The atmosphere between Emma and Aidan was strained for the last few days of her bed-rest. Although Aidan brought her everything she needed, catered to her every whim, it wasn’t the same as before. He no longer stayed and watched movies with her. And even with Beau beside her, the bed was cold and empty without him at night.
Aidan was forcing her hand. He felt he had done everything humanly possible to make her forgive him, and now he was done going the extra mile. Whatever happened between them was now up to her. And she was completely clueless on how to proceed.
When she went to see her OB, Dr. Middleton, she was satisfied that everything looked great, and Emma could come off bed-rest and return to work the following week. Although she should have been happier, uncertainty still remained heavy. Did she leave that afternoon and go back to her house? Did she stay and try to work things out with Aidan? Or did she prepare to move to Ellijay to be with Grammy and Granddaddy like she had originally planned?
After she and Aidan got into the car, a tense silence hung around them. Finally after what felt like an eternity, Aidan sighed. “Listen, Em, you’re probably not going to like what I’m about to say, but I feel like I need to.”
“Okay,” she replied hesitantly.
“I know you’re officially off bed-rest, but I don’t think you need to be doing anything really strenuous to start with. So if you’re willing, I’d prefer if you kept staying at my house…at least a little while longer.”
When she turned to stare at Aidan, she saw his jaw clenching and unclenching. He was trying to keep his emotions in check. She knew that meant he really wanted her to stay. That thought made her heart beat a little faster. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”
Aidan tore his glance away from the road to pin her with his stare. “Of course I wouldn’t. Stay a couple more days or weeks.” Then under his breath he murmured, “Stay forever.”
Her breath hitched at his allusion to commitment, but she decided not to press it. “If you’re really sure, then I’d love to stay.”
She gave him a bright smile, which caused a smirk to curve on his lips. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Now why don’t we celebrate by letting me buy you dinner?”
“No, no, this one needs to be my treat. You’ve already done enough.”
“Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever let a woman pay for dinner,” Aidan mused.
“Good. You can learn that there’s a first time for everything.”
Aidan chuckled. “All right, Em. Since dinner is on you, let me find the most expensive place possible!”
***
The following night Emma prepared for her non-date to the opera with Pesh. After putting the final touches on her hair, she stood back from the bathroom mirror and took in her image. With its empire waist and wide spaghetti straps, the violet colored cocktail dress came just below her knees. Her nose wrinkled a little at how her straining pregnancy cleavage wanted to spill out of the top. It seemed like she had gone up a cup size in the last few days. She would be sure when she wasn’t wearing her coat to wear her drape.
She hadn’t been dressed up in so long, and she had originally bought the dress to wear to Casey and Nate’s rehearsal dinner since it promised to be a swanky affair. But she was glad to get more wear out of it to the opera.
At the sound of the front door slamming, she cringed. “Em?” Aidan’s voice called.
“I’m in the bathroom.” Like a true coward, she had yet to mention her plans of going out with Pesh. She knew it would cause unnecessary trouble. She had hoped to be able to sneak out before Aidan got home. Leaving behind a note or text that she would be out would have been so much easier than having to face him. But Aidan couldn’t seem to get it through his head that there was nothing between her and Pesh, and at the same time, he had yet to tell her the magic three words she had been longing to hear.
While in her mind she told herself that her opera plans were innocent, her heart raged in fury at her. Deep down, she knew she was hurting Aidan, and that regardless of what he had done to her, that made her a horrible person. She should have told Pesh no the first time he broached the subject of attending the opera, but instead, she gone against her better judgment and agreed.
She was snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Aidan shuffling down the hall. “I picked up some Chinese on my way in. I thought if you were feeling up to it, we might go to Percy’s swim meet tonight. He really wants us to come. I swear, he’s called me like five times.”
Emma winced at the fact she would not only be disappointing Percy but Aidan as well. He appeared in the bathroom door with a half-eaten egg roll in his hand. He took one look at her, and his mouth gaped open. “I think you’re going to be a little overdressed for the YMCA.”
Warmth flooded her cheeks. “Actually, I’m going to the opera tonight.”
Aidan’s face fell. “With Pesh?”
She gnawed her bottom lip before responding. “He asked me last week because he had an extra ticket. Another couple will be there, so it’s not like we’ll be all alone. It’s a way of celebrating me being off bed-rest.” At the hurt radiating in Aidan’s eyes, she quickly added, “It’s just downtown at the Fox. I won’t be out late, and I promise to stay off my feet as much as I can.”
His silence caused her chest to cave in. She knew she had to get away from him. As she started to brush past him out the door, she noticed a crumb of eggroll on his face. Raising up, she ran her thumb over the corner of his lip, catching it.
He grabbed her arm, his blue eyes flashing with desperation. “Em, don’t go. Please.”
She hoped he didn’t noticed how she had started trembling. “Aidan, I’ve already told Pesh I would, and I’m dressed. Besides, it’s not a date. I promise.”
He scowled at her. “Of course, it’s a date. You may think it’s just as friends, but I’m sure he doesn’t. Or he at least wants you to believe that lie while he’s moving in for the kill!”
Emma stared down at the bathroom tile. “Yes, it’s true that Pesh would like us to be more, but I told him I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“That’s not true. You want us. I know you do.” When she refused to look at him, Aidan’s hand gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Why do you keep fighting this? Fighting us?”
She tried pulling away, but he tightened his arms around her. “I’m not fighting us. There isn’t really an us anymore, is there? You made damn sure of that when you couldn’t tell me you loved me and tried to screw another woman!”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Oh hell yes there is! There was before, and there still is.”
Emma shook her head as tears burned her eyes. “Will you ever get it? You broke my heart, Aidan! You shattered me into jagged pieces from which I’m not sure I can ever be whole again with you or any another man.”
His face contorted with agony. “And I said I was sorry. I’ve begged and pleaded with you to forgive me. I’ve even tried to show you in every way how very sorry I was. Because of the last ten days, what we have is even stronger now, but dammit, you keep railing against it because you’re afraid I’m going to f*ck up again!”
Emma cheeks warmed from her anger. “And how do I know you won’t? You said you wanted more with me last time and look where it lead us. How do I know that you won’t put a ring on my finger and then freak out and screw around on me?!” she demanded.
“Because I won’t. I swear to God and everything that is holy that I won’t!”
“You can’t make a promise like that. You can’t be sure what you’ll do tomorrow or five years down the road.”
“I am sure! I know in my heart that I’ve never felt for anyone like I’ve felt for you. All I want is you.”
“Aidan—”
His response was to crush his lips to hers. That familiar electricity popped and crackled around her. Physical need, along with love, pulsed through her, and she thought she would die if she didn’t get closer to him. She wanted to touch and taste every inch of him.
Aidan gave an agonized groan when her tongue brushed against his lips. He widened his mouth, accepting her tongue and teasing it with his. Almost instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck as his went around her waist. They moved frantically against each other.
When he started to pull away, she gave a cry of protest. “Feel us, Emma. It’s right here, and all you have to do is accept it,” he murmured against her lips.
Her eyes opened, and she gazed up at him. “Emma, I l—”
The sound of the doorbell cut him off and snapped her out of his spell. “Oh God,” she moaned. Her hands dropped from his neck to push against his chest. “Let me go.” When he still held her tight, she brought her panicked gaze to his agonized one. “Please, Aidan.”
His arms dropped limply from her as his shoulders drooped in defeat. “Fine. Go to him. I hope he can give you what you obviously don’t want from me. But don’t think for one minute that you’re not doing the same thing I did. You’re running away from happiness and trying to calm your fears with someone else.”
He then turned and left her alone in the bathroom. Feeling lightheaded, she gripped the countertop. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she fought to keep her composure. She heard Aidan open the front door and ask Pesh inside. She glanced in the mirror and grimaced. Her kiss with Aidan had smeared her lipstick. “Just a second!” she called.
“Take your time,” Pesh replied good-naturedly. Emma was sure he was just being polite considering the fact Aidan was there.
Once she finished adjusting her make-up, she grabbed her purse and hurried down the hallway. Pesh stood in the foyer with his back to her. His hands were thrust into his pockets nervously playing with his keys while Aidan was nowhere in sight. She cleared her throat. “I’m so sorry I was late.”
He whirled around and then drank in her appearance. A bright smile curved on his face. “You look so absolutely gorgeous that any man would be a fool not to instantly forgive you.”
“Thank you,” she replied. She couldn’t help noticing how handsome he looked in his dress coat that hid the suit and tie he was wearing underneath. A cream colored scarf was draped around his neck. “You look very nice yourself.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” He glanced around the foyer. “Where’s your coat?”
“Oh, just one second.” She started for the closet by the kitchen when Aidan appeared, clutching her formal dress coat in his hands. “You don’t want to forget this. It’s supposed to be down in the 40’s tonight. I don’t want you or Noah catching a chill,” he said.
She started to reach for it, but he held it out to put it on her. Turning her back to him, she faced Pesh. His jaw clenched as she watched Aidan slide the coat up over her arms and onto her shoulders. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Aidan’s fingers lingered on her until she finally stepped away from him.
“I guess we better go. We don’t want to miss our dinner reservations,” Emma said to Pesh.
“Good seeing you again, Aidan. Tell your father I hope he’s taking good care of himself.”
“Yeah, same to you. I’ll tell Pop you said hello.”
Emma couldn’t believe that Aidan was practically being cordial. But when they reached the front door, he called, “Take care of my girl.”
Pesh’s hand froze on the doorknob. “Um, I will,” he muttered before he jerked the door open for Emma. Once it closed behind him, Pesh exhaled noisily.
“I’m so sorry for that,” Emma began as they started down the stairs.
“It’s okay. I would probably have reacted the same way.”
“Seriously?”
Pesh nodded as he held open the door of his Jaguar. “If someone was trying to encroach on the woman I loved, I’d probably be less than civil.”
“But you’re not encroaching. He knows we’re just friends.” Emma couldn’t help noticing that Pesh flinched at the word friend. “We are still friends, aren’t we, Pesh?”
A smile forced its way to his lips. “Of course we are.”
Uneasiness crept into the pit of her stomach. Her expression must’ve alerted Pesh to her feelings because he said, “Emma, if you don’t feel comfortable about tonight or leaving Aidan, we don’t have to do this. I would never, ever want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
The sincerity in his voice made Emma shake her head. “No, I’m fine. Let’s go.” But the truth was she was far from fine. Her emotions buzzed and hummed like a swarm of locusts ready to overtake her at any moment.
He nodded, and after she had eased down into the seat, he closed the door for her.
Once he made his way around the car, he slid inside and cranked up the engine. He turned to her and smiled. “I’m glad you’ve consented to come with me tonight. My sister and brother-in-law will be joining us.”
“Oh,” she murmured at the insinuation of a double date.
“But Shevta is aware we’re not committed to one another, so you don’t have to worry about it being strange.”
Yeah, I’m sure she thinks there’s a lot more between us than you’re letting on—just like Becky did! Emma thought, but she pinched her lips tight. Her fingers went to the hem of her coat, and she twisted it with nervousness.
Pesh tried filling the uncomfortable silence with conversation about his sister and brother-in-law. Emma could tell he was very fond of Shevta, and she sounded like an amazing woman.
“Where are we eating?”
“An Indian restaurant close to the Fox.”
Emma’s stomach churned at the prospect, but before she could try to put on a poker face, Pesh burst out laughing. “I’m only teasing you.”
A nervous giggle escaped her lips. “Really?”
He momentarily tore his eyes away from the road to give her a beaming smile. “I made reservations at The Livingston, so we would be right across the street and have plenty of time to eat and relax.”
“Oh, I’ve always wanted to eat there. It’s in such a beautiful, old building with the Georgian Terrace Hotel.”
“I’m glad I made a good choice.”
Emma smiled. “I think one day when I’m not pregnant, I’ll get up the courage to try Indian food again.”
“Do you really think so?” When she bobbed her head, Pesh said, “Now that is what I call courage.”
“Actually, you don’t know the entire story and how true that statement is!”
“Oh, what happened?”
She winced before relating the story of throwing up on Aidan. Of course, she did manage to leave out a lot of details about what went on between them that night.
Pesh’s expression turned serious. “I hate to hear you got so sick. I should have realized mixing all those spices wouldn’t be good for you—especially if you had such a sensitive palate.”
“It’s okay. Things like that happen,” Emma said as they eased into the parking lot across from The Livingston.
After turning off the car, Pesh turned to her. “So we’ll be on the lookout for the blandest food possible tonight to ensure you don’t have to make a run for the bathroom or throw up in the orchestra pit?”
Emma laughed. “I’m not that sensitive.”
“Phew, good to hear.” He then came around not only to open the car door for her, but he took her hand to help her up out of the car.
She cocked her head at him. “You know, I’m not so enormous yet that I’m having mobility issues.”
He winked. “I know. I just used it as a ploy to get to hold your hand.”
Emma couldn’t help laughing at the impish grin that formed on his cheeks. “May I keep it to escort you into the restaurant?”
“I suppose so.”
“Didn’t want you to think I was getting too forward.”
“I’ll make sure to let you know if that happens.”
When the crosswalk sign turned, they hustled across the street and into the restaurant. Once they reached the hostess stand, Pesh dropped her hand. “Reservation for Nadeen,” he said.
The hostess glanced down at her book. “Yes, two of your party is already here. Please follow me.”
Pesh motioned for Emma to go first, and she fell in step behind the hostess. When they stopped in front of the table where an attractive Indian couple sat, Emma drew in a deep breath.
“Shevta, Sanjay, this is my friend, Emma Harrison,” Pesh introduced.
Emma thrust out her hand to Shevta. “Nice to meet you.”
Shevta rewarded her with a broad smile as she pumped Emma’s hand. “The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Harrison. Please sit down.”
Emma shook Sanjay’s hand before eyeing an empty seat. After helping her off with her coat, Pesh pulled out her chair and then eased her up to the table.
Once they had given their drink orders, Shevta turned to Emma. “So I understand you’re a big fan of the opera?”
“Oh yes. My mother used to bring me to the Fox when I was younger. I was only thirteen when I first saw Aida.”
“Sanjay and I have had season tickets since we got married. With his crazy schedule, we haven’t been able to include Alpesh as much as he would like,” Shevta said.
“I’m so very grateful you allowed me to tag along this evening.”
With a sly smile, Shevta said, “Oh no, we’re thrilled to have you.”
Emma shifted in her seat and tried focusing her attention on her menu and not the growing tension at the table about what she and Pesh were or weren’t.
***
The rest of dinner went smoothly, and she actually enjoyed being out with Shevta and Sanjay. Of course, Pesh was his usual charming self, and she couldn’t help feeling a tiny fluttering in her chest each time she caught him looking at her or whenever he winked playfully.
Once they finished their meal, they walked across the street under the flashing lights of the illuminated Fox Theater sign. When the usher led them to the third row in the orchestra, Emma turned back to Pesh with widened eyes. “These seats are amazing!”
He smiled as he took her coat. “I’m glad you like them.”
“Like them? I don’t think I’ve ever been this close. I’ll feel like I’m back on the stage. Well, not like I was ever on a stage like this.”
“You were involved in the theater?” Pesh asked as they eased down into the plush velvet seats.
“Oh yes.” Emma then spent the remaining time before the lights dimmed regaling Pesh about her musical roles.
From the time the curtain rose, Emma sat mesmerized in her seat. The costumes, the score, the performances—they were breathtaking and so much better than she remembered. When the cast came out for their curtain calls, she clapped until her palms stung and turned red.
As they started up the aisle, Emma felt Pesh’s hand on her lower back, guiding her from being knocked about in the crowd. Blustering cold air met them as they pushed through the lobby doors and under the awning.
“It was very nice meeting you,” Sanjay said.
“Same to you,” Emma replied, shaking his hand again.
Shevta leaned over to whisper in Emma’s ear. “We hope to see you again soon. I haven’t seen Pesh so happy in a long time.”
At the insinuation, Emma’s chest caved, and she found it hard to breathe. How could she explain to Shevta that she didn’t reciprocate Pesh’s feelings, and that no matter how hard she tried not to, she was only going to hurt him in the end? Or was she only lying to herself by ignoring the tiny flickering building within her whenever Pesh smiled at her or did something sweet or thoughtful? With Pesh, she would never have to worry about unfaithfulness or not being able to say how he felt. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was so old-fashioned, he would never think of cheating.
Finally, she murmured, “Thank you.”
As they waved good-bye to Sanjay and Shevta, Pesh linked his arm through hers. “So did you enjoy Aida again?”
“Oh I adored it! It’s such a beautiful love story, even the sad parts.”
“You had me worried with all the sniffling.”
Emma grinned. “I couldn’t help it. It’s a mixture of me being a hormonal ball of mush as well as the fact I always cry in emotional parts of movies, books or the theater.”
They were about to round the corner to the parking lot when Pesh stopped. “What’s wrong?” Emma asked.
Pesh motioned to the horse drawn carriage at the curb. “How about a ride?”
Emma widened her eyes at both the romantic sentiment and the prospect of getting into the carriage. “I would love to, but...”
“You’re afraid you can’t get up there?”
She furrowed her brows. “How did you…?”
He laughed. “Lucky guess. But have no fear. I’m pretty sure we can manage it.” He took her hand and put it on the carriage side. “Now put your foot in the stirrup.” His hands went to her waist and tenderly hoisted her up. She pulled her other leg up and then pitched forward onto the seat. “Oomph,” she muttered, as she tried rearranging her dress.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, we’re ready,” Pesh called to the driver.
“Yes, Mr. Nadeen.” With a crack of the reins, the carriage lurched forward, sending Emma collapsing back against Pesh’s chest.
As she pushed herself off of him, Emma asked, “How does he know your name?”
“If you want a carriage ride after ten, you have to hire one.”
“You hired a carriage ride for us?” Emma questioned incredulously.
“Yes, well, at the time, it seemed like a good idea—another way for me to woo you. Of course, that was before I picked you up and experienced the whole scene with Aidan.”
Emma ducked her head. “I’m so sorry.”
Pesh’s fingers tenderly cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Please don’t apologize. I’m just happy to have had this lovely evening with you.”
At his earnest expression, Emma smiled. “So am I. And thank you for being so understanding.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
They took in the sights and landmarks while the traffic and people bustled around them. To combat the cold, she snuggled closer to Pesh. He momentarily tensed before wrapping her in his arms. Although she hated herself for it, she couldn’t help noticing how he felt entirely different than Aidan. He was taller, more muscular. She felt almost tiny wrapped in his embrace, even with her ever expanding belly.
“Emma,” he whispered.
She jerked her head off his chest to stare up at him. The intense longing burning in his eyes took her off guard and sent the tiny flickering within her to start crackling and building. Before she could stop herself, she leaned forward, giving Pesh the invitation he sought.
His warm lips brushed tentatively against hers. When Emma didn’t pull away, he pressed them harder. Ever the gentleman, he didn’t try to deepen the kiss by seeking entrance for his tongue. Instead, he pulled away to stare into her eyes. The flickering had sent flames shooting below her waist, and she brought her lips back to his. This time she slid her tongue along his lips. Pesh gave a moan low in his throat before darting his tongue against hers.
In that instant, Emma couldn’t get close enough to him or get enough of him. Her hands were in his hair while she shifted to almost sit on his lap. She whimpered in frustration when Pesh’s hands came to her shoulders to push her back. “Emma, no.”
“What?” she muttered through her haze.
He shook his head. “This isn’t you. It’s your hormones.”
“Wait, no. That’s not it at all.” She gazed up at him. “Trust me when I say, you’re a really, really good kisser.”
Pesh chuckled. “And in five minutes, you’re going to hate yourself and me, just like I do right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel like a giant jackass for even putting the moves on you considering you’ve just come off bed rest, we barely know each other, and your emotions are with someone else.”
She blinked a few times, taking in his words. Then her hands flew to cover her face. “Oh God, I just acted like a complete and total slut, didn’t I?” Emma moaned.
“No, you didn’t.” When she peeked at him, Pesh gave her a sheepish grin. “Besides, you have your pregnancy hormones to blame. I should have known better.”
She reached out to take his hand in hers. “It’s not just the hormones that make me want you, Pesh. You’re an amazing man—handsome, strong, compassionate, giving of yourself and your heart. Any woman in my place would be willing to drop her panties for you, even if they usually had morality.”
He laughed. “All this time and who knew I was such a panty melter.”
Emma grinned. “You need to get out of the ER more.”
“If I had more evenings to look forward to like this, then maybe I would.”
At his insinuation, Emma stared down at her lap. A frustrated noise came from the back of Pesh’s throat. Unwrapping himself from her, he scooted over to the other seat and tapped the driver. “Ed, I think it’s about time you backtracked and took us back. It’s a little too cold for Emma to be out this long.”
“Yes, sir.”
For the remainder of their ride, he sat across from her, and they talked of Atlanta, not what was happening or not happening between them. Emma felt frozen solid by the time they got back to the car. She thrust her hands in front of the heater while shifting to enjoy the heated leather seats.
“I’m sorry you got so cold. I should have realized the weather wasn’t cooperating for a carriage ride.”
Rubbing her hands together, she turned to smile at him. “No, I enjoyed it. Everything about tonight has been so wonderful.”
“Hmm, should I take that for a real compliment considering you’ve been cooped up for two weeks?”
Emma laughed. “Yes, you should. Although you probably could have taken me to something I hate like a sporting event, and I would have enjoyed it.”
“Not much on sports, huh?”
Wrinkling her nose, Emma said, “My heart is with the theater and the arts.”
Pesh smiled. “I’ll have to remember that.”
They had barely gotten on the interstate when exhaustion set in. The toasty warm car and the fact she hadn’t done so much in weeks kept her fighting to keep her eyes open. It wasn’t long before she nodded off.
The car coming to a stop jolted her awake. Her eye-lids fluttered open to take in Aidan’s driveway. Yawning, she turned to Pesh. “I’m pretty rude company, aren’t I?”
He shook his head. “I’m surprised you made it as long as you did. It’s been a big day.”
“Yes, it has.”
“Here, let me walk you to the door.”
As Pesh started around the car, Emma grabbed her purse. The house was dark as they started up the front walk-way. Aidan hadn’t left the porch light on for her. She drew in a shaky breath at the thought of facing him again.
When they got on the porch, Emma turned to Pesh. “I want to thank you again for the lovely evening.”
Pesh smiled. “It was my pleasure. I hope it’s something we can do again.”
Emma nodded. “Me too.” She leaned over to kiss Pesh chastely on the cheek. When she started to pull away, Pesh quickly pecked her on the lips. And then before she knew it, his lips were moving against hers. Within a second of them being joined, his tongue plunged into her mouth, and Emma knew it was all over.
He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her flush against him. She brought her arms against his chest, but instead of pushing him away, she slid her hands up to his neck and curled her fingers into his hair.
At her actions, a growl reverberated deep in Pesh’s chest. Without warning, he pushed her back against the brick wall. As he pressed himself into her, she could feel the fabric of her dress, along with her thigh highs, snagging against the rough foundation. But she didn’t care. She couldn’t get enough of him being close to her. His smell, the way his body molded against hers, the way his tongue set her on fire as it darted in and out of her mouth.
All thoughts of any propriety flew out of her head. The very fact she was making out with another man on Aidan’s front porch should have immediately doused any desire she felt. But instead, her chest rose and fell in rapid breaths.
Pesh tore his lips from hers and started kissing down her neck. Throwing her head back, she murmured, “Mmm, oh Aidan.”
Her eyes flew open as Pesh stilled his lips. A strangled cry erupted from her throat as she pushed away from him. Oh God, she had said his name. In a moment of pure and electric passion with Pesh, she had called out Aidan. Embarrassed tears stung her eyes as she turned to flee.
Pesh grabbed her arm. “Wait, Emma.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” she cried, as tears streaked down her cheeks. She tried pulling away from him to escape because she couldn’t bear to look at his face.
“Stop it, and look at me!” Pesh commanded.
Emma dragged her gaze off the tiled porch floor and up to Pesh’s face. “Please, just let me go. There’s nothing you can say that would make me hate myself any more than I already do.”
Surprise flooded her when he drew her into his strong embrace. “I don’t hate you, so you sure better not hate yourself.”
She jerked her head back to stare incredulously at him. “I just called out the man who broke my heart’s name while I was making out with you!”
Pesh’s expression saddened. “And when I pressed you back against that wall, all I saw in my mind was Jade, and all I wanted to feel was her.”
Instead of being angry, Emma’s heart ached for Pesh. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I think she confirms what I’ve feared for a long time. We’re just two broken people who aren’t ready for someone else, no matter how hard we try to force it.” He pushed a strand out of her face. “We’re both still desperately in love with other people.”
“I want to love Aidan…I mean, I do love him, desperately at times, but I’m afraid to let myself feel what I do. Your wife was always true to you. She would have never left you.”
“I’ll admit that what Aidan did still infuriates me to where I want to inflict bodily harm on him. But he loves you, Emma. He’s been working his ass off the past two weeks to try to get you to see that.”
“But he can’t even say the words. Every time he tries, he gets interrupted and then he never makes an effort again!”
Pesh took her chin in his fingers and forced her to look him in the eye. “I want you to think about this for a minute? What would you rather have? Words that can be spoken lightly and then taken back so easily, or would you rather actions?”
A reel of images of Aidan’s behavior over the last weeks flickered through her mind. He had risked his job to take care of her. Not to mention, he had cooked everything and anything she wanted, made midnight runs for bacon and ice cream, massaged her feet while watching chick flick movies he hated and held her when she had felt despair.
He smiled. “I don’t know why he can’t say the words, but I know without a doubt he loves you. For most of his life, Aidan probably loved himself more than anyone else in the world. And now he loves you more.” His hand briefly touched her belly. “And he loves his son.”
A sob tore through her chest, and she didn’t fight the tears that came. She threw her arms around Pesh and squeezed tight. “Why do you have to be so wonderful? You should be mad as hell and turning over furniture, calling me a tease or something!”
Pesh laughed. “The last thing I am is a hypocrite. I know exactly how you feel.”
“You’re going to make someone a wonderful husband.” She pulled away to cup his face in her hands. “I want a wife and family for you more than you can ever imagine.”
“It’s just not time, yet, Emma.”
She kissed his cheek tenderly. “I’m going to pray for your heart to open to someone. Jade would want you to be happy.”
Pesh clenched and unclenched his jaw, and Emma knew he was fighting his emotions. “I know she would,” he whispered.
“Then make two women who adore you proud and find yourself a wife.”
His mouth fell open as he stared at her. Emma smiled and nodded. “I do care for you, Pesh. I realize now the feelings I had for you weren’t entirely romantic, despite my behavior in the carriage or here on the porch. Regardless of the fact I love Aidan, I can’t help but care for you deeply.”
“I care for you, too. And I want you to be happy more than anything in the world.” He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “And I think that happiness is right inside that door.”
Tears stung Emma’s eyes. Unable to speak, she bobbed her head in agreement. When Pesh pulled back, he winked at her. “Hurry on in and make Aidan’s night.”
She gave him a final kiss on the cheek before digging the keys out of her coat pocket. “Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re welcome.” He then waved good-bye before hurrying down the porch steps to his car.
Emma’s fingers trembled as she unlocked the door. Tentatively, she stepped inside the house. Darkness enveloped her as she made her way through the living room. She was surprised not to find Aidan awake. Her nose wrinkled as she eyed the beer cans littering the coffee table.
As she took off her coat, something warm and furry brushed against her leg. “Aw, boy, were you waiting for me to come home?”
Beau whined and nudged her belly. “We’re home now. You don’t have to worry anymore.” She reached over to scratch his ears. “Where’s Daddy, boy?”
He yipped and then started for the stairs. With the way they had left things, she wasn’t too surprised that he wanted to be apart from her so he hadn’t slept in his bedroom. Taking the stairs one at a time, she then crept down the hall to the guest room. Beau’s claws clacked behind her. When she reached the door, she turned back to him. “Stay boy.”
He reluctantly slid down on his paws to lie outside the bedroom. She smiled at him. “Good Beau.”
Her shaky hand worked hard to turn the doorknob. Aidan’s soft snores met her as she stepped inside the darkened bedroom. Since he hated sleeping in the dark, the nightlight next to the bed lit her way across the floor. She eased down on the bed beside him. Lying on his back, the sheet was bunched around his waist while one arm was thrown lazily over his head.
As she gazed down at him, she wondered how she had ever thought she could want anyone else. Mortification caused her to shudder when she thought of how she had kissed Pesh when all along she had only wanted it to be Aidan’s lips and Aidan’s hands on her. Just like Aidan had fought his feelings for her by taking home a stranger, she had tried to do the same thing with Pesh. And like him, nothing she could have ever done with Pesh would have driven away her true feelings for Aidan.
In the end, there would only be two loves in her life—Travis and Aidan. She rubbed the back of her hand along his cheek. It brought a smile to her lips because she realized how he was keeping a close shave because he knew she liked it.
When he didn’t wake at her touch, she leaned over and kissed his lips. She pulled away and stared into his sleeping face. “I love you, Aidan Fitzgerald. I always have, and I always will. I’m sorry for hurting you,” she whispered.
He grimaced in his sleep, his hands fisting the sheet. “Em…Em please…I…I love you.”
Emma’s heart jolted and then restarted. Her hand flew to her chest and rubbed where the slow, aching burn filled her. He was calling out to her. Somehow, somewhere in his subconscious he really did want her, and he had said the words she had longed to hear. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to make love to him and truly cement their feelings for each other.
With another kiss, Aidan still slept soundly. Biting her lip, Emma knew the one way she was going to have to wake him up to ensure he would be ready and willing. Leaning over she began kissing a moist trail down his bare chest. When she reached the waistband of his underwear, he still hadn’t stirred. Easing it down, she took his cock in her hand. Working her fingers over him, his length began to swell. Aidan shifted in the bed, but his breathing didn’t change.
When she slid him into her mouth, his hips bucked. Then a low groan rumbled through his chest. “Emma,” he murmured, and she paused. Her heart stilled when she realized he was still asleep and calling out for her.