The Love Game (The Game, #1)

CHAPTER Forty-Seven – Maddie

Two days after speaking to Braden after English, and I still haven't recovered. Where the crap has my 'bounce-back' mechanism gone? The freakin' springs are probably broken, actually. It's been used so many times, it's probably fed up of bouncing my ass when I fall on it.
This time it's on me. This time, it's on me to pull myself together and get up from the low I seem to have sunk to emotionally.
I also need to magically grow a pair of balls and actually go to the frat house for the books I left there because staring at it sadly from my bedroom window isn't bringing them to me. Seeing Braden – in a classroom I can deal with, but in the frat house? His house? His room?
Could I ever deal with that?
If I went, would I come back even more broken than I am now?
No, no, I'm not broken. I'm strong, just like he said. And I can go over there. I can do it.
I slip my pumps onto my feet and run my fingers through my hair anxiously, shutting the door behind me. My feet seem to echo in the empty hallway as I slowly make my way down the stairs. I shiver despite the warm evening air, and wrap my arms around my body.
I pause on the sidewalk next to the frat house for a second, and the door opens. Kyle.
“Maddie?” He frowns, doing a double-take.
“I, er.... Is Braden there?” I ask softly.
“Yeah, he's in. I thought you-”
“We're not. I just.... I left some books here.” I look down. “I need them back.”
“Oh, sure. Give me a minute, I'll get them.”
I nod and hear the door shut. I bounce uncomfortably, bending my knees and study the cracks in the sidewalk.
It was once perfect, flawless, but now it's cracked and broken. Just like me.
“Maddie?” Braden's voice is hesitant. It's a tone I've never heard before.
“Hi.” I look up and fake a smile. I hide the frantic beat of my heart and shaking of my hands.
“I've got your books.” He steps out and holds them out. I grind my back teeth together and reach out, cursing my shaking hands. “Are you cold?”
“Uh, a little. I think the change in air is making me sick,” I lie. “I should get back.” I tuck the books against my chest and make to move.
“You're okay? Your Dad.... He's okay?”
I wish he didn't care. “Yeah. I'm good. Dad's good,” I smile slightly and make the mistake of meeting his eyes. “What?”
He sighs. “You're lying.”
“Why would I be lying? I'm fine, Braden, just like you are.” The words sound hollow even to my ears. “I needed to get away and now I'm back. I'm fine. I'm sure your life is how it was before both of us started those games-”
“You're wrong.” He slams the door behind him and storms down the steps. I step back.
“Braden-”
“It's not like it was before you, Maddie, not at all. I might be just as lonely and just as pathetic, but it's not the same because there will never be another you. It's not f*cking possible.” He stops in front of me and looks down. His hands are clenched tightly in fists at his sides. “You.... It's just you. No one else. Without you, it's all f*cking pointless. Without you....” He growls in his throat and touches the side of my head, his fingers sinking into my hair. I swallow the lump in my throat and hold back the tears forming.
“Without me, your life is better,” I choke out and step back, turning and running across the road.
“Without you it's all bullshit, Angel!” he yells after me. “You give it all meaning. You make every day worth it so you're wrong! Before.... Before was before I had you. Now I've had you and I've lost you, and nothing can ever compare to having you, Maddie!”
I shake my head and run faster, leaving him standing there. Tears stream freely down my cheeks, and I hiccup a sob, covering my mouth with my hands. I punch the code into the keypad through blurry eyes and climb the stairs two at a time.
My dorm door opens as I reach it, and Kay holds out her arms. I let the books drop to the floor and collapse into her comforting embrace.

~

“I'm done!” Lila yells, throwing her pen at the wall behind my head. “I'm done!”
“Shut up!” Megan holds a finger up. She mutters to herself and scribbles something down on the book in front of her. “Okay, carry on.”
“So kind,” Lila snaps. She turns her eyes on me. “You! I'm done.”
“Me? What have I done?” I look at Megan. She shrugs.
“You, being a miserable bitch!” Lila exclaims. “I am so done. I'm not taking it anymore. I'm gonna put a goddamn smile on that face even if it's a forced one!”
“I'm fine, Lila.” I turn my attention back to the laptop in front of me. “Really. You don't need to put your fingers in the corners of my mouth and pull it up.”
“You are a liar. And do not tempt me, Maddie Stevens, because so help me, I will do it!” she threatens.
“I have no doubt of that,” I reply dryly. Megan giggles.
“There is a party tomorrow night, at the frat house. You. Are. Going.”
“No. I'm. Not.”
“Oh yes you are.”
“I'm not going, Lila. It’s not about Braden, or even about seeing him. I just don't want to go, okay? I have loads of schoolwork to catch up on from last week. I have to catch up.”
“Bullshit!” Megan cries, her pen flying across the room. “I call bullshit! You've already caught it up. The biggest load you'd have is from English and you already handed that in. Excuses!”
“It's not excuses,” I argue lamely.
“Just because you don't want to see him-” Lila starts.
“I've seen him four times this week and spoken to him twice.” I raise my eyebrows. “I have no issues with seeing Braden Carter.” My jaw is tight.
Lila shakes her head. “You still don't wanna see him.”
I sigh. “I do want to see him.” I look away from them. “But after the 'thing' outside the frat house, I'm scared that when I do see him, I'll jump on him and kiss him instead of kicking him in the balls like I actually want to.” I shrug a shoulder, and Megan giggles.
“Then you have to come because either one could be amusing.”
“You're going to make me go, aren't you?” I look between them.
“Maddie, honey,” Lila begins in a softer tone. “I love you, but it's been three weeks. I'm not letting you mope anymore. You're going.”
That settled that, I guess.