“I couldn’t tell—I didn’t know.… I just saw the lines. The lines on the album. I drew them for the Seeker… but we didn’t know what they were. She still thinks they’re a road map.” I couldn’t seem to stop talking. I tried to make the words come slower, to protect myself from a slip.
“What do you mean you didn’t know what they were? You’re here.” Jared’s hand flexed toward me but dropped before it closed the small distance.
“I… I was having trouble with my… with the… with her memory. I didn’t understand… I couldn’t access everything. There were walls. That’s why the Seeker was assigned to me, waiting for me to unlock the rest.” Too much, too much. I bit my tongue.
Ian and Jared exchanged a look. They’d never heard anything like this before. They didn’t trust me, but they wanted so desperately to believe it was possible. They wanted it too much. That made them fear.
Jared’s voice whipped out with a sudden harshness. “Were you able to access my cabin?”
“Not for a long time.”
“And then you told the Seeker.”
“No.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because… by the time I could remember it… I didn’t want to tell her.”
Ian’s eyes were frozen wide.
Jared’s voice changed, became low, almost tender. So much more dangerous than the shouting. “Why didn’t you want to tell her?”
My jaw locked hard. It was not the secret, but still, it was a secret he would have to beat out of me. In this moment, my determination to hold my tongue had less to do with self-preservation than it did with a stupid, grudging kind of pride. I would not tell this man who despised me that I loved him.
He watched the defiance flash in my eyes, and he seemed to understand what it would take to get this answer. He decided to skip it—or maybe to come back to it later, save it for last, in case I wouldn’t be able to answer any more questions when he was done with me.
“Why weren’t you able to access everything? Is that… normal?”
This question was very dangerous, too. For the first time so far, I told an outright lie.
“She fell a long way. The body was damaged.”
Lying did not come easily to me; this lie fell flat. Jared and Ian both reacted to the false note. Jared’s head cocked to the side; one of Ian’s ink black eyebrows rose.
“Why isn’t this Seeker giving up like the rest?” Ian asked.
I was abruptly exhausted. I knew they could keep this up all night, would keep this up all night if I continued to answer, and eventually I would make a mistake. I slumped against the wall and closed my eyes.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “She’s not like other souls. She’s… annoying.”
Ian laughed once—a startled sound.
“And you—are you like other… souls?” Jared asked.
I opened my eyes and stared at him wearily for a long moment. What a stupid question, I thought. Then I shut my eyes tight, buried my face against my knees, and wrapped my arms around my head.
Either Jared understood that I was done speaking or his body was complaining too loudly to be ignored. He grunted a few times as he squeezed himself out of the opening of my cave, taking the lamp with him, and then groaned quietly as he stretched.
“That was unexpected,” Ian whispered.
“Lies, of course,” Jared whispered back. I could just barely make out their words. They probably didn’t realize how the sound echoed back to me in here. “Only… I can’t quite figure out what it wants us to believe—where it’s trying to lead us.”
“I don’t think it’s lying. Well, except the one time. Did you notice?”
“Part of the act.”
“Jared, when have you ever met a parasite who could lie about anything? Except a Seeker, of course.”
“Which it must be.”
“Are you serious?”
“It’s the best explanation.”
“She—it is the furthest thing from a Seeker I’ve ever seen. If a Seeker had any idea how to find us, it would have brought an army.”
“And they wouldn’t have found anything. But she—it got in, didn’t it?”
“It’s almost been killed half a dozen —”
“Yet it’s still breathing, isn’t it?”
They were quiet for a long time. So long that I started to think about moving out of the cramped ball I was curled in, but I didn’t want to make any noise by lying down. I wished Ian would leave so I could sleep. The adrenaline left me so worn out when it drained from my system.
“I think I’m going to go talk to Jeb,” Ian eventually whispered.
“Oh, that’s a great idea.” Jared’s voice was thick with sarcasm.
“Do you remember that first night? When it jumped between you and Kyle? That was bizarre.”
“It was just trying to find a way to stay alive, to escape.…”
“By giving Kyle the go-ahead to kill her—it? Good plan.”
“It worked.”
“Jeb’s gun worked. Did she know he was on his way?”
“You’re overthinking this, Ian. That’s what it wants.”
“I don’t think you’re right. I don’t know why… but I don’t think she wants us to think about her at all.” I heard Ian get to his feet. “You know what’s really twisted?” he muttered, his voice no longer a whisper.