“Keep waiting.”
“Can you believe he kicked me in the face, Jodes? For no reason at all.”
“Who needs an excuse, eh, Jodi?”
It was oddly pleasant, the banter between the brothers. Jodi’s presence kept it light and teasing. Gentle and funny. I would have woken up for this. If I were her, I would have been smiling already.
“Keep it up, Kyle,” I murmured. “That’s just right. She’ll come around.”
I wished I would get to meet her, to see what she was like. I could only picture Sunny’s expressions.
What would it be like for everyone here, meeting Melanie for the first time? Would it seem the same to them, as if there were no difference? Would they really grasp that I was gone, or would Melanie simply fill the role I had?
Maybe they would find her entirely different. Maybe they would have to adjust to her all over again. Maybe she would fit in the way I never had. I pictured her, which was picturing me, the center of a crowd of friendly faces. Pictured us with Freedom in our arms and all the humans who had never trusted me smiling with welcome.
Why did that bring tears to my eyes? Was I really so petty?
No, Mel assured me. And they’ll miss you—of course they will. All the best people here will feel your loss.
She seemed to finally accept my decision.
Not accept, she disagreed. I just can’t see any way to stop you. And I can feel how close it is. I’m scared, too. Isn’t that funny? I’m absolutely terrified.
That makes two of us.
“Wanda?” Kyle said.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Um… why?”
“For trying to kill you,” he said casually. “Guess I was wrong.”
Ian gasped. “Please tell me you have some kind of recording device available, Doc.”
“Nope. Sorry, Ian.”
Ian shook his head. “This moment should be preserved. I never thought I’d live to see the day that Kyle O’Shea would admit to being wrong. C’mon, Jodi. That ought to shock you awake.”
“Jodi, baby, don’t you want to defend me? Tell Ian I never have been wrong before.” He chuckled.
That was nice. It was nice to know that I’d earned Kyle’s acceptance before I left. I hadn’t expected that much.
There was no more I could do here. There was no point in lingering. Jodi would either come back or she would not, but neither outcome would change my path now.
So I proceeded to my third and final deed: I lied.
I stepped away from the cot, took a deep breath, and stretched my arms.
“I’m tired, Ian,” I said.
Was it really a lie? It didn’t sound so false. It had been a long, long day, this, my last day. I’d been up all night, I realized. I hadn’t slept since that last raid; I must have been exhausted.
Ian nodded. “I’ll bet you are. Did you stay up with the Heal—with Mandy all night?”
“Yeah.” I yawned.
“Have a nice night, Doc,” Ian said, pulling me toward the exit. “Good luck, Kyle. We’ll be back in the morning.”
“Night, Kyle,” I murmured. “See you, Doc.”
Doc glowered at me, but Ian’s back was to him, and Kyle was staring at Jodi. I returned Doc’s glare with a steady gaze.
Ian walked with me through the black tunnel, saying nothing. I was glad he wasn’t in the mood for conversation. I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on it. My stomach was twisting and turning, wringing itself into strange contortions.
I was done, all my tasks accomplished. I only had to wait a bit now and not fall asleep. Tired as I was, I didn’t think that would be a problem. My heart was pounding like a fist hitting my ribs from the inside.
No more stalling. It had to be tonight, and Mel knew that, too. What had happened today with Ian had shown me that. The longer I stayed, the more tears and arguments and fights I would cause. The better the chance that I or someone else would slip up and Jamie would find out the truth. Let Mel explain it after the fact. It would be better that way.
Thanks so much, Mel thought; her words flowed fast, in a burst, her fear marring her sarcasm.
Sorry. You don’t mind too much?
She sighed. How can I mind? I’d do anything you asked me to, Wanda.
Take care of them for me.
I would have done that anyway.
Ian, too.
If he’ll let me. I’ve got a feeling he might not like me so much.
Even if he won’t let you.
I’ll do whatever I can for him, Wanda. I promise.
Ian paused in the hall outside the red and gray doors to his room. He raised his eyebrows, and I nodded. Let him think I was still hiding from Jamie. That was true, too.
Ian slid the red door aside, and I went straight to the mattress on the right. I balled up there, knotting my shaking hands in front of my hammering heart, trying to hide them behind my knees.
Ian curled around me, holding me close to his chest. This would have been fine—I knew that he would end up sprawled out in all directions when he was really asleep—except that he could feel my trembling.