Take a Chance (Chance #1)

Grant

Ihad never felt this helpless. The door slammed behind Harlow as she fled the suite. She didn’t want me with her. She didn’t want Mase. She was just going alone. How the f*ck was she supposed to deal with this alone?

I glared back at Dean. “I can’t believe this shit!” I roared, wanting to throw something. “You just blurted out that her mother was alive and in a special home with no preparation? What the f*ck were you thinking?”

“What he said,” Mase said in an angry growl.

Dean sank down onto the chair behind him. “What was I supposed to do? Kiro won’t leave. When it finally dawned on me where he might be, I called the place and sure enough he was there. He said he wasn’t going on tour. He wasn’t leaving her that long. She gets anxious and difficult if too many days go by and he doesn’t come to see her. The doctors say she expects it. If she doesn’t see him then she gets upset.”

F*ck me.

I walked over to the windows overlooking Vegas. How did he survive this? Seeing the woman he obviously still loved, knowing she would never talk to him again? It seemed almost worse than death.

“Someone should have told her before now. She’s twenty years old! She’s been robbed of knowing her mother her entire life!” Mase sounded as if he was ready to put his fist through a wall.

“Kiro was afraid seeing her like that would upset Harlow, and Harlow would, in return, upset her mother. He does everything he can to protect Emily. The media have never gotten ahold of this story. No one knows about her but us. To everyone else, she’s simply dead. Kiro loves Harlow, but when it comes to protecting her mother he will do anything and everything. No matter the cost. Even denying Harlow the opportunity to see her. But you’re right. It’s past time someone told her. Kiro should have told her.”

I couldn’t just stand here and wait on her. I couldn’t be left to wonder if she was okay after meeting her mother for the first time. I looked back at both men. “I’m going.”

“What? You’re just leaving? What happens when she comes back? You not ready to face that?” Mase asked, glaring at me.

“I’m going to her. I’m not leaving her. Someone needs to be there when she meets her mother.”

Mase’s angry expression changed to one of respect. He nodded. “Good.”

I didn’t ask if he wanted to come. I didn’t want him to. Three was a f*cking crowd.

Harlow

When I walked into the large white home, which could only be described as a mansion, I was met at the door by a lady in a nurse’s uniform. “Can I help you, Miss?” she asked, not allowing me to enter the building.

Apparently The Manor in the Hills was harder to get into than a military base. I had shown the man at the gate my ID and Social Security card. It had taken him ten minutes to make a phone call and discuss my information before opening the tall iron gates that surrounded the place.

“I’m Harlow Manning. My father is here . . . and . . . my mother,” I replied. Saying that my mother was here felt strange. I’d had plenty of time during the ride to process all of this. Part of me understood why Dad and Grandmama had done this, but the other part of me hated them for it. It was like being robbed of something you could never get back.

The lady used the mini iPad in her hand to type in something. I assumed it was my name. “I will need to see your ID, please.”

Again? Really? I pulled my wallet out of my purse and handed her my driver’s license. She looked from me to the picture several times then typed in the info from my card and waited. After what seemed like forever she finally stepped back.

“Regina,” she called for one of the ladies behind the desk. “Please take her to Mrs. Manning’s room. Mr. Manning is in there and he’s expecting her arrival.”

So my dad knew I was here. Good.

I followed Regina through an area that looked like the lobby of a five-star hotel. We stopped at the elevator and she pressed in a code. The doors opened and we stepped inside.

Regina then put in another code before locking her gaze on me. “Whatever you do, do not upset Mrs. Manning. Mr. Manning’s presence keeps her calm, but if at any time she feels threatened, she gets very agitated and we have to sedate her. Mr. Manning hates that.”

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. I was nervous. I hadn’t been nervous until now. Knowing I was about to see my mother and that she would be this . . . person . . . not like the smiling woman in the pictures . . . unresponsive . . . Was I ready for this?

And my dad. The way everyone described him with her didn’t sound like him at all. Kiro Manning did not get emotional. He screwed girls my age and he drank too much. He didn’t sit by a woman’s bedside and take care of her. It was as if I had walked into another life.

The doors opened and I followed Regina into the hallway. There was only one door on this floor. I wasn’t surprised. Dad didn’t do normal. Regina walked up to the door and knocked twice, then waited.

When the door opened I saw my father standing there. His hair hadn’t been brushed in what looked like days, and he also hadn’t shaved. He was wearing one of his tight T-shirts and a pair of jeans that were too tight for the average forty-five-year-old man. But he was Kiro. It was expected of him.

“Thank you, Regina. You may leave us,” he said in a defeated tone.

I just stood there and stared at him. I didn’t know this man. He looked like my dad but he also looked broken. I had never seen him look broken.

“I told her you were coming. I tell her about you every time I visit, so she knows about you. I think she’s excited to see you but I need you to be calm. Do not show emotion; it will upset her. Do not discuss this shit in front of her; she will get upset and I don’t want her f*cking upset. I hate it when I can’t calm her. I hate those motherf*ckers and their damn needles getting near her. So you stay calm. You keep your questions to yourself and we will talk where she can’t hear us. I know you’re angry; I can see it in your eyes. But understand me: no one upsets Emmy. No one. Not even you. I won’t allow it.”

The fierce, protective look in his eyes was something I had never seen. The emotion in my chest wasn’t something I wanted to examine right now. This was a side of my father I had never known.

“Okay,” I said simply.

He nodded and stepped back. I walked into the room and it was as elaborate as the rest of the place. A chandelier hung in the entrance. Tall windows straight ahead were framed with elaborate crown molding.

“This way,” he said as we walked past a tall, marble fireplace and white leather-tufted sofas that set off a seating area. We entered another room, and this time my attention wasn’t on the décor; my eyes fell on a sheet of long, dark hair, which looked as if it had just been brushed. It draped over the back of what I assumed was a wheelchair, though it was unlike any I’d ever seen; it was made of soft, tufted leather, though the wheels were unmistakable. It faced tall picture windows, which looked out over rolling hills and a stream that ran nearby.

My father walked over to her and picked up a brush that was sitting on a chair beside her. Had he been brushing her hair before I arrived?

“Emmy, sweetheart, remember I told you that Harlow was coming to visit? She’s a big girl now. She’s very excited to see you. I’ve brushed your hair and you look beautiful.”

Was that my father talking? Never in my life had I ever heard him speak in that tone. All I could do was stare at him. This wasn’t Kiro. This wasn’t my dad. My dad didn’t talk that way. He didn’t brush women’s hair. He had never even brushed my hair as a child.

He looked up at me, then slowly turned my mother’s chair around to face me. My heart slammed hard against my chest. Breathing became difficult again, and I feared I was about to have a panic attack. This was too much. I was expected to remain calm, but how could I? This was my mother.

My eyes locked with hers. I held my breath as I slowly took in the woman in front of me. I had seen her pictures, and I could still see that same young woman in the one in front of me. She was cared for well. There was a vacancy in her eyes that couldn’t be ignored, but what looked like a smile touched her lips.

“Hello,” I said. I couldn’t say “mother.” I didn’t know her. The woman I had always thought of as my mother was an image of a young woman with laughing hazel eyes and a big smile. One that was full of life. That was my mother. This woman . . . she wasn’t someone I knew.

“Harlow, this is your mother, Emily. Emmy, this is Harlow. Remember that sweet baby girl you held? We look at her pictures and talk about the things we did and places we went? She was too small when she was born, and we were so scared we would lose her. But we didn’t. You loved her too much to let her die. You did a good job, honey. She’s all grown up now.”

Emily Manning continued to stare at me. I wanted to accept that she was the woman in the photos I’d spent my childhood staring at and daydreaming about. But then that broke my heart even more. The happy, vibrant woman was gone. This was what was left.

“She’s old enough to come see you now. Would you like that? If I brought her here with me sometimes?” Dad asked as he pulled the chair up beside her and held her hand in his. “I think it would make you smile more. You know I love to see you smile.”

This wasn’t happening. I was asleep. Nothing seemed real.

“Come over here so she can see you better, Harlow. She doesn’t do well with far distances,” my dad said without taking his eyes off Emily’s face.

I was afraid to argue with him. It was obvious he would move heaven and earth to make sure she was happy. I sure didn’t want to be the one to upset her.

I walked over to her, and she followed my every move with her eyes. Her eyelashes batted quickly and she made a grunting noise.

“That’s close enough,” Dad said. “Don’t make her nervous.”

I stopped.

“She looks like you. Can you see that? She has your beautiful mouth and hands. And her hair—that’s all you. God knows mine is shit,” he told her affectionately.

Her body leaned over toward Dad. I wasn’t sure if she just slipped or if she was trying to get closer to him. “It’s okay. See, I have you right here with me. I wouldn’t let anyone in here hurt you, would I? You know I take care of my favorite girl,” he said, pressing a kiss to her head.

The emotion in my chest exploded and I understood it now. This wasn’t about me. This wasn’t about what I had been denied. The bitterness of betrayal faded to sorrow in that moment. Not for me—not because I hadn’t been given a chance to know my mom—but for my dad. Tears pricked my eyes and I knew I was going to cry. He was killing me. His devotion and obvious love for her was breaking me in two.

“I need to go into the other room a moment,” I told him as my eyes filled with tears.

“Go on,” he said as he turned Emily back around to face him.

“We’re going to let her get a drink and rest. She’s traveled a long way to see you today,” I heard him explaining to her. Did she even understand him? Was he just talking to her to make himself feel better because he missed her so much?

By the time I walked into the sitting room area, tears were streaming down my face. I covered my mouth to hold in the sound of my sobbing. My strong, hard, powerful father, who loved to tell the world “f*ck you” and live like he had no worries, was sitting in there holding my mother’s hand and treating her like a queen. As if she were the most precious thing in this world. I had always known he loved her. He made sure everyone knew that the day he lost her marked him for life. But the scene I’d just witnessed? Oh, God, my heart hurt so much.

People saw him as a legend. He had it all. They worshipped him. Yet none of them knew. I hadn’t known. I had always seen him as strong and impossible to hurt. I knew that wasn’t true anymore. That illusion was gone. My father hurt. He hurt more than I could have ever imagined.

I sank down onto the sofa and buried my face in my hands and cried. I cried for the woman in there whose life was cut too short. I cried for the little girl who never got to know her. But mostly I cried for the man who would always love her, even if she would never again be the one he fell in love with.

Grant

The moment I got into the rental car my phone rang. I reached for it and saw Nan’s name on the screen. I started to ignore it but decided it was time to deal with her. I wasn’t going to hide the fact I was seeing Harlow. Besides, she was with August.

“Yeah,” I said. She must’ve had some reason for calling, so I’d let her get that out.

“Where are you?” she demanded.

“Why?”

“Because Harlow’s gone, you’re gone, and Mase is gone. Where the f*ck are you?”

“You need to keep up with your roomies better,” I drawled, bored already by this conversation.

I needed a cigarette whenever I talked to her. I was doing good. I hadn’t had a smoke in two months. I wasn’t about to let Nan send me backpedaling.

“I don’t give a shit where those two are but I want to know if you’re with them. I won’t let that happen. Do you understand me?”

I understood that she was delusional, as always.

“Nannette, if I start sleeping in Harlow’s bed, there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. So back the f*ck off. It’s over. I’m tired of being your backup.”

The boiling rage implicit in her silence made me smile. I liked pissing her off.

For so long I had just wanted to make her smile. I had wanted to save her from herself. But she’d made sure to destroy all those feelings in me. Sleeping with one man after another and rubbing it in my face, then calling me the moment she needed someone. I had let her use me, and slowly it had eaten away at me. Being needed was something I thought I wanted. I thought it would make me feel like I had a purpose. What I hadn’t realized was I had become Nan’s bitch. That was a sour pill to swallow. Backing out of her life hadn’t been easy, but once I had managed to kill my feelings for her and accept that she was bitter and angry, and that I could never change that, I had been a happier person. Sleeping with her when I was drunk was just easy. I knew what to expect in the morning. I knew I was no longer in danger of falling in love with her.

“Is this because I’m screwing around with August? You’re being childish. I told you I just wanted to do the friends with benefits thing for a while. I don’t like serious, and you wanted serious.”

I’d been f*cking insane. She’d saved us both from hell—I should thank her for that.

“I’m bored, Nannette. The benefits thing is over. We’re in the past. I don’t want it from you anymore. You can f*ck whomever the hell you want to, and I’m okay with that. Hell, if he needs a condom I’ll tell him where I left my stash.”

Nan squeaked in disbelief. “You think she’s sweet and pretty, but that’ll get old, too. She’s uptight and boring. When you’re done trying to f*ck Harlow, don’t come running back to me when you realize it wasn’t worth the effort.”

I didn’t take the bait. She was fishing. I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t about to give her anything to throw in Harlow’s face later. Nan played games. Mean, brutal games.

“Who I decide to spend time with is my business. I’m not yours, Nan. Never was. Now, if you’re done I have important things to get to.”

“Where are you?!” she screamed into the phone.

“Not in Rosemary,” I replied, then hung up the phone and dropped it. Nan had been a hard lesson to learn. She was the kind of girl her father had warned me about. Loving Nan would only lead to disaster. Good thing I never really fell in love with her . . .

My phone rang again before I could think too much about Nan.

This time it was Rush.

“Hey,” I said, thankful for someone I could actually talk to.

“Just talked to Dad,” was his only reply.

“Yeah. It’s f*cked up. I’m headed there now. She wanted to go alone but I want to be there when she leaves.”

“You and her talk things out before all this shit happened?”

We talked it out, all right. We talked it out in ways I hadn’t expected.

“Yeah, we did. We weren’t done but then Dean dropped this on her and she was gone.”

“I’m having a hard time believing this, and it ain’t even my momma. I can’t imagine Harlow is handling this well. She seems so breakable.”

I pushed back the possessiveness that rose up in me. Thinking about Harlow being breakable upset me. I didn’t want to think about that. Not when I wasn’t there to catch her.

“Not gonna lie. I’m pissed at your dad. He just blurted it out—no preparation or anything. That kind of shit needs to be eased into. He didn’t ease into it.”

Rush sighed. “Yeah, well, he’s not exactly good with words. He just says what he’s thinking.”

That excuse wasn’t enough for me. Dean was on my shit list.

“Nan is looking for you,” Rush said.

“She called me,” I replied. This was not something I wanted to talk about with him. Nan wasn’t one of my favorite people but she was still his family.

“She’ll eat Harlow alive. Be careful.”

Not what I expected him to say but I agreed.

“I know. I won’t let Harlow get hurt.”

“If you do then Kiro will never accept Nan. She needs him to accept her. She might not deserve it, but she needs it.”

I should have known his concern was more for Nan than Harlow.

“I won’t let her near Harlow,” was my only response.

“It would be nice if you wanted into the panties of someone who isn’t Kiro’s offspring. Less complicated.”

I just laughed. Yeah, it would be, but Harlow . . . well, she was Harlow.

Harlow

“You can’t go in there looking like that,” Dad said as he entered the room. “You’ll scare her.”

I lifted my tear-streaked face to see my father. I would never see him the same way again. No matter how many girls he screwed around with and how many crude things he did or said. All I would be able to see was the man in there holding my mother’s hand.

“I came here angry. At you. At Grandmama. But now, I’m just . . .” I shrugged. I couldn’t say heartbroken. I didn’t want him to know his pain had shattered my heart.

“I was protecting her. You were a kid. You wouldn’t have been able to understand, and you would have upset her. I couldn’t let that happen, Harlow. I love you, kid. I’ve always loved you. You are the only piece I have of the woman I met and fell completely in love with. But she’s still here, even if that spirit is gone. And I’ll protect her with my life. She’ll always come first. Even before you.”

I just nodded, because I got it. Before I arrived, I’d thought there was nothing he could say that would prevent me from hating him. What I hadn’t expected was that all it would take was to see him with her. He hadn’t needed to say a word to me.

“How often do you come see her?” I asked.

Dad walked over to the fireplace and leaned against the stone. “Three, four times a week.”

“And that’s why you left Vegas? Because you’re about to leave the States on tour?”

He frowned. “She doesn’t do well when I’m on tour. The doctors have to sedate her some days because she gets so agitated. She needs me. She may not be the woman, mentally, that I fell in love with but her heart knows who I am. She wants me close. I can’t do that again. Seeing her smile when I walk into her room makes everything else less important.”

I would not cry again. He didn’t want my tears. I was sure he had cried enough for both of us over the years.

“The band needs you. Maybe you can just fly back a few times and visit so it makes it easier on her.”

He nodded. “I’ve been thinking about that. I just don’t know if it’ll be enough.”

I couldn’t stand here and tell him to sing for millions of strangers when his heart was in that room with my mother. It wasn’t my place. I didn’t understand his torment. I never would. I hadn’t lived it.

“I know I can’t let the guys down. They need me. But this is my last tour. I’ve decided I can’t keep doing this. I want to be home. I want to be close to her.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I choked out because I didn’t know what else to say.

His eyes lifted from where he had fixed them on the floor and he looked at me.

“For what?”

I bit my lip and sucked in a sob and prayed no tears would fall. “For losing her.”

A sad smile touched his lips.

“I used to be sorry. Hell, I used to hate the world. I hated life. But then I’d see you and I knew I had to live. You shouldn’t have lived, but you did. She would want me to live, for you. For the baby girl her love had saved. I also knew she wouldn’t want you in my life if I was going to continue being Kiro. She would want you to grow up in the house she grew up in with the mother she adored. So I did what I knew she would want. And you grew up to be her spitting image, inside and out. I get accused of loving you more than my other kids, and I do. I f*cking do. You’re mine and Emmy’s. I didn’t love Georgianna—she was a groupie. I didn’t love Maryann—she was just a fling. So no, I don’t love their kids the way I should. I only have one heart, and your mother takes up most of it. I don’t have a lot of room left for anyone else. You’re the only one I would even consider making room for.”

I knew he loved Mase. The jury was still out on Nan. But I also knew he was trying to tell me that my mother was and would always be his heart.

I stood up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. I didn’t say anything. I had no words.

His arms slowly came around me. “I never meant to hurt you by keeping her from you. But it’s what I had to do. I know you’re all grown up now, but when I look at you I still see my little girl in pigtails. Every time I tried to tell you, I got high instead. I wasn’t brave enough to hurt you. I hope you can forgive me and your grandmama. She agreed with me that you didn’t need to know about your mother until you were grown. You were sick, baby, and I knew I couldn’t lose you, too. That would have destroyed me.”

I tightened my hold on him and buried my face in his chest and sobbed quietly. I couldn’t hate him for this. It wasn’t fair, but I understood. “I love you,” I told him.

“I love you, too. And that woman in there adored you. She never left your side when you were in the hospital. She believed you were our special gift. I remember the look on her face when you took your first step. You were her angel from heaven, and when I lost her I knew I had to protect you.”

I closed my eyes tightly and fought off the tears. I wanted to get control of myself so I could go back in there and see her again. When my sobs finally eased and my tears dried up, I gazed up at my dad. “Can I go back in there?”

He reached up and wiped my face then nodded. “Of course.”

Grant

Aphone call from Dean had gotten me past the large iron gates of Manor in the Hills. I didn’t intend to go inside. I just wanted to park and wait on Harlow to come outside. She’d been here at least two hours by now. I closed the car door and stepped around the front of the car so I could see the front doors. When she came out, I would be here.

If she didn’t want to see me, fine. I’d just follow the limo back to Vegas. But if she needed me, I was available. I was stupid enough to think that because I had gotten her to f*ck me in a bathroom, all was forgiven. I still had a lot to prove to her. And if she would give me a chance I’d always be there when she needed it.

I hadn’t been waiting but ten minutes when the door to the Manor opened and Harlow walked out. From here, I could see she’d been crying. I made my way toward her. She didn’t notice me at first. She was wiping her eyes and walking down the steps when I made it to the bottom. Her eyes lifted and widened when she saw me standing there. This was it. She was going to yell at me to leave or she was going to—

Harlow ran down the stairs and threw herself into my arms and began sobbing. I held her against my chest tightly and closed my eyes. I was immediately thankful I’d come. I’d been right. She needed me.

I didn’t ask. I just let her cry and held her. Both her hands grabbed fistfuls of my T-shirt as her body shook. My chest ached with each pitiful noise that came from her. I wanted to fix this. I wanted to go inside and fix anything that upset her, but how the hell did I fix this? I couldn’t.

“He . . . he brushes her hair,” she said as a sob racked her body again.

He brushes her hair. What? Was she talking about her dad? I didn’t ask. I just let her talk.

“She smiles at him,” she choked out.

Yes, she was talking about her dad. I tried to imagine Kiro brushing a woman’s hair, one who couldn’t speak or move. It didn’t seem like those two things went together. I couldn’t see Kiro brushing anyone’s hair but his own, and that was rare.

“Oh, God, Grant, my heart hurts so bad. He’s so sweet with her. It’s like there’s this man I never knew existed. She can’t do anything. Nothing. I don’t even know if she even understands what he’s saying, but he talks to her like she understands everything. He still loves her. Completely. And he gets nothing in return.”

I glanced up at the mansion in front of me and tried to imagine what she was telling me, but I couldn’t. I’d seen Kiro f*ck a woman on his pool table who I was pretty sure was barely nineteen. He was drinking vodka straight out of the bottle and smoking a joint at the same time as he did this. It was forever burned in my thirteen-year-old brain.

I held Harlow and ran my hand down over her hair, trying to soothe her even if it was impossible. She didn’t say anything else. Finally her sobbing eased off and she let go of my shirt and smoothed it out where she had wrinkled it. Not that I gave a shit. She could have the shirt if she wanted it.

“You’re here,” she finally said, looking up at me with a wet face that was still breathtakingly beautiful. How did she do that? Always so damn perfect. She made it hard on a man.

“I thought you might need someone.”

She gave me a shaky smile. “You were right.”

I reached up and wiped away the tears still clinging to her cheeks with my thumbs. “If you ever need me, I’m here,” I told her.

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. “That doesn’t help,” she said.

“Why?” I thought having me at her beck and call would be pretty damn helpful.

“I’m trying to keep you at arm’s length. Being sweet makes it hard.”

So that’s what this was about. Well, she hadn’t seen anything yet. I was gonna make it even harder before it was over.

“I thought we had gotten rid of that arm’s-length thing in the bathroom on the plane,” I replied, trying to get a real smile out of her.

She cocked her eyebrow. “No. That was because you’re ridiculously sexy and you give me really amazing orgasms.”

I could work with that.

“Anytime you want one of those all you have to do is crook that pretty little finger,” I replied, and this time she did smile. A real smile. One that lit up all the darkness in her eyes.

I reached down and laced my fingers through hers and she let me. “I drove a rental car. You want to ride with me?”

She glanced over at the limo. “Yeah. I do. Dad wants to stay until tonight and I need to leave him the limo.”

Good. I wanted her beside me.

“You ready now?” I asked.

She glanced back at the house. “Yeah, I am. I can’t take any more today. And he needs his alone time with her. I think she needs him, too.”

I wasn’t sure what all went on in that room today, but I knew it had changed things for Harlow. Her life was forever different. The crying wasn’t over, either. I had a feeling more mourning would come. And I intended to be there. She wasn’t going to deal with this alone.

?

We were headed back to the desert and I had let Harlow pick the music. I also left her to her thoughts. She needed to think and process all she had seen today, and I understood that. I glanced over at her every once in a while to make sure she wasn’t crying.

“I’m not going to break down again,” she finally said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. Harlow wasn’t a big talker when it came to her feelings, but after today I felt like she really needed to talk. Keeping that bottled up wasn’t good for her.

“I was so angry at him. At everyone who had lied to me. But then . . . I saw him with her. No one could have prepared me for that.” She shook her head and looked down at her clasped hands. “It definitely changed a lot between us today. I’ve always known that Dad loved me more. I hated to say that out loud, but I knew it and I felt guilty about it. Now, I get it. I don’t think it’s me he loves more. I’m just the kid that she gave him. I’m his connection to her.”

I thought about Mase and how distant he seemed when he talked about Kiro. As if Kiro wasn’t his father at all. And then there was Nan. I knew Kiro wasn’t a fan of hers. Harlow, however, needed Kiro and she loved him. I didn’t argue with her, but it was more than just her mother that made Harlow the favorite child.

“This is his last tour. He hates leaving her. I couldn’t even argue with him. The world may want Kiro, but Kiro wants to be with her. Even like she is . . . he wants to be near her.” Harlow let out a soft laugh. “And to think I thought my dad’s heart had been buried with my mom.”

I glanced over at her. “Do you plan on going back to see her?” I asked.

Harlow nodded. “Yes. She can’t talk to me and I don’t even know if she realizes who I am, but I know about her now and that’s enough. I want to . . . I want to be the one to tell her about my life. And maybe she is truly smiling when people talk to her. If I spend more time with her, then maybe I will find a way to have some relationship with her.”

I could hear the hope in her voice. She wanted to know her mother. It made sense. I just wasn’t sure I could personally handle it if she left there broken every time. I reached over and tugged her hands free from each other and laced my fingers through hers. “I’m always here to go with you. Don’t think you have to go alone. I will gladly wait in the car until you’re ready to leave.”

A soft smile touched her lips, and she laid her head back on the seat and turned to look at me. “Thank you,” she said simply.

“Anything you ask, Harlow. Anything you ask,” I told her.

She squeezed my hand. “I can’t get the image of Dad talking to her out of my head. He was so gentle and sweet. Kiro is never sweet. Thinking about it just makes my heart hurt all over again.”

“Tell me what I can do to distract you and I will. I can sing pretty damn good, but I suck at telling jokes so that’s all I have to work with at the moment.”

Harlow smiled but she didn’t say anything. She just kept staring at me, making it hard on me to keep my eyes on the road.

When I pulled onto a long stretch of road, I was relieved that I would be able to look at her more often. It was too damn tempting not to. Before I could glance her way, Harlow leaned over and slid her hands between my legs. My entire body went still and my focus was shot to hell. I gripped the steering wheel with both hands and took a steady breath. Her mouth was at my ear before I could form words and her hand was rubbing my instantly hard dick through my jeans.

“Pull over,” she said before pressing a kiss to my neck, then taking a lick. Holy motherf*cking shit. What was she doing?

“Harlow, baby, what are you doing?” I asked. I knew she was trying to find something to take her mind off today’s traumatic events, but I wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do. Even though my dick disagreed with me.

“I need you to make me forget today,” she said in a husky whisper.

Oh hell. This was a bad idea, but her hand felt so f*cking good. I decided pulling off the road may not be a bad idea. At least then I could focus on controlling myself and talking to her. I pulled the car off the road.

Harlow leaned over in her seat. I thought she had changed her mind until I saw her unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down her legs, along with the panties I’d already seen once today.

I was frozen in shock until she crawled over the seat and straddled me and lifted her shirt to pull out her breasts from their confinement. “Are you going to make me beg?” she asked as she sat there, looking at me.

Beg? What had I been going to say to her? I couldn’t remember. “Harlow, I don’t think this is what you really want,” I managed to get out.

“Please. Don’t tell me what I want or need. I am tired of people deciding what I need. I’m a grown woman and right now I need you to help me forget. Give me something else to think about.”

I gazed up into her eyes, and the pain there was my undoing. How was I supposed to tell her no? She needed me. Wasn’t that why I came? To be there for her however she needed me? Even if my brain was screaming that this was a terrible idea, I reached up and cupped her face, brushing my thumbs across her still tear-stained face. She was special. “I’ll do whatever you need me to,” I told her before pressing my mouth to hers.

I tasted her sweetness and wished I could take away all her sadness. Pressing a kiss to each corner of her mouth, I trailed my tongue along her bottom lip and shivered as she sighed. Her tongue found its way into my mouth and she got her own taste.

I could do this for hours. Once, this was all we had done and I had loved every minute of it. Holding her close and being this connected was more powerful than anything I had experienced. Until I’d been inside her.

She rocked her hips in my lap and I moved my hand down to slip it between her legs. The wetness that met my touch surprised me. I had worried she was forcing this as a way to forget the pain. But she was ready, and the pleased hum that vibrated against my mouth told me she wanted more.

“Yes, that’s good. I need more,” she said as she started riding my hand. Holy f*ck, where had this come from? I was gonna come in my damn jeans at this rate.

I slipped my hand out of her and she groaned in protest until she saw me quickly unbuttoning my jeans and jerking them down until I was free.

“Oh,” she said in excitement and grabbed on to me with both hands, then brushed the tip of my swollen head with her thumb. I reached down and stilled her hands.

“Baby, you’re naked and begging for me to touch you. I’m about to explode. You can’t touch me. As good as that feels, I’m too damn close.”

Her small frown turned into understanding as she took in my words, and her eyes got big in surprise. “You mean you’re about to come?”

F*ck. Did she have to say that word? Her mouth saying words like that was gonna kill me. “Yeah. Real close.”

“I wanna see it,” she replied.

“Harlow, sweet girl, that’s messy and we’re in a car. I swear to you, I’ll let you see it up close and personal if that’s what you want, but not in the car where I can’t clean up.”

She glanced over at her purse. “I have tissues in my purse.”

Was she serious? Or had I just died and gone to heaven where sweet, dirty-talking angels asked to see your come?

“Please, Grant. Let me play with it until it comes. I’ll clean it all up,” she said.

I gritted my teeth as my cock jumped in her hands. He liked that idea a lot. Too much. She wasn’t gonna have to play long.

“But I thought you wanted me to f*ck you,” I managed to say.

“I do. We can after I see it. We can get it hard again, can’t we?”

I glanced down at her bare p-ssy and decided, yeah, we could get it hard again real easy. “Yeah, I’m sure you can. I’m f*cking positive you can.”

She beamed at me and reached for her purse, leaving her round, bare ass stuck up in my face. I reached over and squeezed it and she squealed before sitting back up with an entire pack of tissues in her hand. “See,” she said, smiling. Then she dropped them in the cup holder and reached for my erection again. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. If I watched her do this I was going to embarrass myself and shoot off too damn quick. And my girl wanted to play.

“It’s so soft. I thought it would feel rough or something, but the skin on it is soft, even though it’s hard and looks swollen. Does it hurt?”

She was not asking me this. Motherf*cker. “It hurts a little but it’s a good hurt, and you’re making it feel real damn good. So f*cking good.”

“Really?” she asked innocently, and I opened my eyes to look at her.

She was staring down at my dick and gently toying with it. I would lose my mind like this. I reached down and took her hand and wrapped it around me. “Squeeze it,” I instructed her.

She did, but not hard enough.

“Harder, baby,” I told her.

She did. Yeah, that was it. “Okay, now move it up and down like this.” I held her hand and kept it squeezing me tightly and moving up and down. “You do that and you’ll see some come real damn fast.”

Harlow bit her bottom lip and focused on doing exactly what I told her. I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was so sexy. I reached over and touched the wetness between her legs, causing her to stop a moment and moan in pleasure.

“If you get to play, so do I,” I told her.

“Okay,” she said, breathing out and pulling harder on me as I ran my finger around her *, feeling it swell under my touch.

“Oh, that’s . . . it’s so good,” she moaned, tugging on me harder.

I needed a taste. I brought my fingers to my mouth and sucked her moisture off them as she watched me. Her tongue came out and licked her lips. My balls drew up and I knew I was there. I started to cover myself to keep from getting any on her, but she wanted to see this, so I laid my head back and cried out her name as I came undone in her hands.

She made a surprised sound but kept holding on to me while I shot all over her hands and arms. My hips bucked, relishing the feel of coming so she could see it. When her hand touched the tip of my head to touch the come, still slowly leaking out, I grabbed her wrist and cursed. “F*ck, baby, don’t. Too sensitive.”

Her breathing was fast and hard like mine. This had turned her on. I looked down at her hands and saw myself all over her. She wasn’t wiping it off, she was studying it, too. Her breasts were bouncing with each hard breath she took. F*ck. I was already getting hard again.

I grabbed the tissues and started cleaning her off.

“Can I do that again sometime? I liked it. I liked the face you made when you did it,” she said. Her blunt admission made my already stirring cock begin to rise.

Only Harlow.

“Baby, anytime you want to touch my cock it’s yours. You can make it do whatever the hell you want it to.”

She smiled and lifted the hand I hadn’t cleaned to her mouth and licked my come off her finger. I stopped moving. I stopped breathing.

“I like the way it tastes,” she said before licking another spot clean off her hand.

I was dead. That was the only explanation for this. I had made it to a place where little, sexy, dirty angels made men’s fantasies come to life.

“Next time, will you do it in my mouth?” she asked, holding out her hand for me to finish cleaning it.

“You wanted me hard again. Well, you f*cking well achieved it,” I told her, wiping the come off, then grabbing a condom from my wallet and jamming it on. “I can’t take you talking like that. Now I need you,” I told her as I lifted her hips and slammed her down on me, causing her to scream out.

“You want to play with my cock, baby, then you can f*cking play with my cock,” I told her as I lifted her hips and slammed her back down.

“Yes!” She threw her head back and shoved her tits in my face. Both large, pink nipples right there for me to latch on to. I began to suck one and she grabbed my head and held it there. “Harder. Suck me harder,” she said, and I bit down on the hard bud, unable to control myself.

“Oh, God, Grant! That’s so good. More,” she begged as I switched breasts. She started to take over, lifting her hips and slamming back down on me.

“Is this what you wanted?” I asked her as she rode me harder.

“Yes!” she screamed.

“Say it. Tell me what you want.” I needed to hear that sweet mouth talk dirty.

She opened her eyes and looked right at me, then licked her lips. “I want you to f*ck me hard,” she said slowly, and I let out a growl I didn’t recognize and began pumping into her as hard as I could. Her breasts bounced in front of me, making the scene even more erotic.

I had never imagined Harlow like this. But damned if I didn’t like it. She’d just taken amazing sex and made it mind-blowing.

“I’m gonna come,” she said, grabbing my hair and burying my face in her chest. I liked it there just fine. I took a bite of her swollen breasts and she cried out my name and began trembling over me. She clawed at my back again and said my name over and over.

I grabbed both her tits and squeezed as my release hit me and I pumped into her, wishing there was no barrier. I wanted to mark her as mine. I wasn’t sharing this. Ever.

Harlow

Iwas a slut. Or trauma made me a slut. I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t been able to look at Grant since I’d basically raped him, then moved over to my seat and pulled my pants back on. He had kept his hand on my leg or his fingers laced in mine, but he didn’t force me to talk.

I figured either he didn’t realize I was a slut or he was feeling sorry for me today. My face heated at the memory of him coming on my hands and me tasting it. I knew about blowjobs. I knew women must like it to do it. So I was curious. But now that I had made him come in my hands and tasted him, I was embarrassed. I didn’t do things like that. It wasn’t me. I had just needed to be reminded I was alive. Grant made me feel alive and as if nothing could touch me.

I had today, though, and it had been good. He’d made me feel good. My left breast still stung from the bite he took out of me. I tried not to smile thinking about his mouth leaving a mark on my boob. I liked that too much.

Maybe I liked being a slut. I was embarrassed, sure, but I felt really good. My body was still humming from the orgasm he’d given me.

“You going to sit over there, silent, and smile like that the rest of the way home? ’Cause if you are I’m gonna have to pull over again.”

I laughed and turned to look at him. His sexy grin was on his face as he watched me.

“I wasn’t smiling,” I told him.

He glanced back at the road. “Yes, sweet girl, you were smiling like a very happy girl.”

He was right. I was happy. How was I happy after everything I’d learned today? I never thought I’d be happy again when I walked out of that place, but then Grant had been there and he’d let me cry all over him. He’d made me happy.

“Thank you,” I finally said.

Grant glanced back at me and frowned. “Please tell me that you didn’t just thank me for sex.”

I shook my head. “No. I mean, it was incredible, but no. I was thanking you for coming to get me. For being there.”

His hand slid up my thigh and took my hand again. “You’re welcome.”

I couldn’t figure Grant Carter out. Two weeks ago I thought he was a guy who wanted nothing but sex from me, and once he’d got it he’d left. Then I thought he was hung up on Nan. But now . . . now I wasn’t sure what he was doing. He had come with me in the middle of the night to Vegas to find my dad. Then he had come after me so I wouldn’t be alone when no one else had thought to do that. Then we’d had the most amazing sex in the world. I didn’t have anything to compare it to but I was pretty positive that it didn’t get better than Grant.

“Why are you here?” I asked. I needed to know. If this was all about the sex I couldn’t say that I wasn’t going to still have sex with him, because I liked it. No. I loved it. He was addictive. But I needed to prepare my heart and emotions.

“Because you are,” he replied.

That didn’t make sense.

“I don’t understand that,” I told him.

Grant squeezed my hand. “I screwed up with you. I got scared and I screwed up. So I ran because I’m good at running. I always f*cking run from things. But when I saw you standing in that kitchen at Nan’s I realized this time I didn’t want to run. I wanted to stay. I just needed the guts to do it. You’re worth fighting demons for.”

I sat there, unable to think of a response to that. Grant Carter was known for his looks, his sexy body, tattoos, and smooth talking. That was no secret. I’d heard the rumors and experienced the smooth talking more than once.

As much as I wanted to believe what he was saying, I was a smart girl. I had been burned already. Grandmama always used to say, Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I tried to live by that motto. But Grant made it hard.

“I don’t trust you. I may never be able to trust you again. But I do like you. You make me smile when I need it. I don’t want to keep you at arm’s length, because I want more of . . . well, you know. I just can’t promise you that I’ll ever get over the past.”

Grant didn’t reply right away, and I wondered if he was going to tell me to take a hike, that I wasn’t worth this. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I was more high-maintenance than he first assumed.

“You’ll trust me again” was all he said. His hand never left mine and I didn’t argue with him. There was no point.

?

Mase called me when we were right outside Vegas. His mom had called and his stepfather had broken his leg falling off the tractor. He had just left Texas on a commercial plane back to Rosemary to get his truck and go home. He had wanted to wait for me, but he said his mother sounded tired and worried. He needed to get her some help, then he’d be back for me. He sounded upset and questioned me about how I was after seeing Emily. I assured him that I was okay and Grant was with me. That hadn’t eased his mind. “You need to be careful with that one. Let me bring you to Texas with me. I can help Mom and take care of you.”

He had meant well, but I wasn’t moving to Texas. Not now. I was ready to see where this thing with Grant was going first. I explained that I wanted to stay in Rosemary and if I needed him I would call. But I wanted him to stay with his mom and stepfather for right now. He seemed mollified by that and said he’d be back to Rosemary as soon as he could to check on me.

Grant had seemed silently pleased with Mase’s departure. I didn’t comment on that, though. Dean had apologized to me for telling me everything the way he had. I had hugged him and assured him it was okay. I needed to know, and I was glad I had witnessed Dad with Mom. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t. However, Grant didn’t speak to Dean, and I found that odd.

Once we were on the jet headed back to Rosemary, it dawned on me that I hadn’t slept in more than twenty hours. Grant seemed to read my mind. He took my arm and led me back to the bedroom and began taking off my shoes.

“Lie down,” he said in a husky whisper, and I did. I wasn’t about to argue.

He slipped off his boots and crawled up behind me and pulled me against his chest. We didn’t talk, but we didn’t need to. This just felt right. My eyes closed and I let the exhaustion of the day take over.

Grant

We slept the entire flight home. On the drive back to Nan’s house, I stopped and got us coffee and sausage biscuits at an all-night drive-through. Harlow looked adorable and rumpled, and I was having a hard time looking at the road and not her.

Pulling into the driveway, I was instantly annoyed to see Nan’s car. Sure, it was the middle of the night and this was her house, but I’d been hoping she wasn’t there so I could crawl into Harlow’s bed with her and go back to sleep without its being an issue.

I parked the truck and turned it off then looked over at Harlow.

“I’m gonna shoot it to you straight. I want to go inside and get back in bed with you and finish sleeping. I don’t give a f*ck that Nan lives here.”

Harlow glanced at the house then down at her hands and sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. She won’t handle it well if she sees you’re here with me.”

I reached over and grabbed her chin so she would have to look me in the eyes. “I don’t care what she does or says. I won’t let her hurt you. And I’m not going to let her control this.”

“But you were just in her bed a week ago,” she said. The pain in her eyes as she reminded not only me but herself made me hate myself.

“I was drunk and stupid. It didn’t mean anything. With you, it always means something.”

Harlow gave me a small smile and opened the door to my truck. “I guess this is going to get back to her eventually. We might as well not hide anything,” she said and stepped down.

I didn’t wait for her to change her mind. I grabbed my bag and hers and got out of the truck.

She glanced back at me as she climbed the steps and I enjoyed the view of her ass in those tight jeans.

“Are you gonna sleep in your boxers?” she asked.

I hadn’t thought of that. I shrugged. “Yeah, probably.”

She smiled. “Good. I like the way you look in boxers,” she said, then finished walking up the stairs.

Yeah, I was smiling, but I was also thinking about what she was going to sleep in. Suddenly, sleep was the last thing on my mind.

Harlow opened the door and we walked inside. I could tell she was trying to be quiet, but honestly, I didn’t give a shit. Unless Nan came out screaming and ruined my chance to see Harlow in those cute little pajamas I’d seen her in the first day.

When we got to Harlow’s room she closed and locked the door, then glanced over at me. “I need to take a shower and get the travel off. I feel yucky.”

“I need one, too,” I replied, and opened the door leading into the bathroom for her. She paused and looked at the door, then me.

“Are we . . . are you going to . . .” she stopped and I fought to keep from laughing.

“Sweet girl, if your sexy ass is getting in a shower in the very next room, I’m getting in it, too. That’s a sight I don’t intend to miss.”

Harlow looked unsure, and I wondered what was wrong now.

“I . . . that seems so revealing and personal. I don’t know if I can do it.”

Would she always make me want to laugh? God, I hoped so. Even if she wasn’t so perfectly packaged, her being so damn adorable would be enough. “Baby, I’ve had you naked and spread out open for me on a bathroom counter with my head between your legs. It doesn’t get any more personal than that.”

She ducked her head and I heard a soft laugh. “Yeah, I guess you have a point.”

“Hell yeah, I have a point. Now get in there and get naked so I can help wash you,” I told her.

She stepped into the bathroom and I followed her. I didn’t even try to hide the fact I was watching her take off every damn stitch of her clothes. It was something that would never get old.

“Are you going to wash my back for me?” she asked with a teasing tone in her voice as she stepped out of her jeans.

I grinned and pulled my shirt off. “Sure, I’ll wash your back. But I’m also washing those nice big tits and that p-ssy I’m such a fan of.”

She closed her eyes tightly. “I hate it when you call it that.”

Laughing, I let my jeans drop and went to turn the shower on. The prim and proper thing was part of her sexiness. Knowing I could get Miss Prim and Proper to do things like lick my come off her fingers was hot.

I turned back around to see her standing behind me, looking at my bare ass. She had her arms wrapped around her chest—as if that covered anything.

“It’s warm, come on.” I held out my hand and she stepped forward and slipped hers in mine, letting her breasts free. They bounced and my cock was at full attention.

“Harlow,” I said.

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna f*ck you in this shower. If I don’t, we won’t get any sleep in that bed.”

Her breathing picked up and that was all I needed. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Oh, trust me, baby. I know exactly how to do it.”

She tensed and turned toward the water so her back was toward me. What the hell had I done now?

I placed my hands on her arms to keep from putting them in other places. “What is it?”

She shrugged and stepped farther into the water and tilted her head up to let the warm stream pour over her face and hair. I forgot what I was doing for a moment. I just watched in fascination. I was pretty damn sure I could spend the rest of my life standing right here and watching this.

When she stepped back and ran her hands down her hair, I grabbed her and pulled her back against me. “I don’t speak silent, Harlow. I need you to tell me what’s wrong. Your back is rigid and your body is telling me something’s wrong.”

I was expecting more silent Harlow.

“Maybe I don’t like to be reminded about the fact you’ve had sex with a lot of other girls before you had sex with me.”

Well, hell.

I’d never thought of that.

No girl had ever cared before.

I was an ass.

I turned her around to face me. Her wet eyelashes stuck together and water dripped from her smooth skin. I’d made her insecure. I never wanted to do that. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t think anything of it, but I understand why you’re upset. I can’t change my past,” I told her, reaching up to touch her face because I couldn’t stop myself any longer. “But you’re different. This thing we’re doing is different.”

She pressed her lips together and tilted her head into my hand like a kitten. “I just hate not knowing what to do. Being with you is amazing but you’re all I know. I have no experience so I have no idea how to do things to make you feel good. I can’t compete with your past.”

She really had no clue. I pulled her against me. “God, Harlow. You’re going to kill me,” I said, holding her while I tried to get my emotions together. “Sex is a way to get pleasure. It never meant anything more to me. Just a way to feel good. I didn’t put anything else into it. I just gave and took what I needed. And maybe when I first saw you that’s all I wanted. At that engagement party I got a look at those legs of yours and I wanted you naked and under me. I won’t lie. But then I got to know you. I saw something precious that I wanted to taste. I wanted to hold it and I wanted to touch the special that I saw there.” I pulled back and looked down at her. “When I was inside you for the first time I realized I had found something I’d never felt, and it was terrifying. The pleasure wasn’t shallow and I wasn’t untouched. Something inside me turned over and I became addicted. To you. I don’t have any other explanation for you right now. But never compare yourself to anyone else I’ve ever been with because you’re all I want and all I see.”

Harlow didn’t respond. Instead, she pressed a kiss to my chest and continued to press kisses until she was on her knees in front of me. She looked up at me through wet lashes. “I don’t know how, but this is all I’ve been able to think about since that car ride.”

I was pretty damn sure I had forgotten how to inhale. Her hands held me and she squeezed just the way I’d taught her to. “Anything you do will be f*cking perfect,” I rasped out.

My plan had been to wash her body and send her into a crazed frenzy with my hands before I pressed her against the wall and slid back inside her. But she wanted to suck my dick. How did I get this? Her? What did I ever do right to get this kind of reward? Harlow wasn’t meant for guys like me.

All thought left the moment her lips pulled me in and she began to suck as if she knew exactly what she was doing. There was no pattern or rhythm to it. She just took me in her mouth like I was a treat and she was enjoying herself. I didn’t instruct her. Hell, I was afraid to. I wanted inside her, and if she got any better that wasn’t happening in the shower.

She licked the head and looked up at me, smiling. “Is this okay?” she asked.

I realized I was holding my breath and sucked in some air. “No fantasy I’ve ever had can compare to how this feels.”

She opened her mouth and started to pull it back into her mouth. But I couldn’t let her do that right now. I wanted inside. I’d be more than willing to let her have at it another time for as long as she wanted, or until I blew.

“Up,” I told her, reaching down. She let it pop out of her mouth and I groaned. She stood up, frowning at me as if she wasn’t sure what was going on. I grabbed her face and covered her mouth with mine. The musky taste on her lips made my pulse beat faster. That was me. She tasted like me.

I grabbed her hips and pressed her against the wall and spread her legs before sinking into her tight warmth.

“Oh, God!” she cried out, grabbing my arms.

I picked her up and began to pump in and out of her while she moaned and begged for more. The little uptight Harlow was gone when she was like this. She was my wild, sweet girl. When she raised her knee and wrapped a leg around my waist and clawed at my back, I knew she was close.

I wasn’t wearing a f*cking condom. Shit!

Harlow screamed my name and grabbed on as she found her release. I let her ride it out while grinding my teeth and holding back. When she started squeezing my dick with her tight little hole, I pulled out and covered her thighs with my release.

She was still holding on to me but she went still as the warmth of my come ran down her legs. Her eyes lifted to mine and went wide. She was just now realizing we had done this without protection. But I’d pulled out in time and I knew I was clean.

“I’m clean. I swear. I get checked regularly and I always wear a condom.”

“You’re sure?” she asked, still standing very still.

“Very sure.”

“I didn’t realize, but it felt different. Better.”

God, yes, it had felt like f*cking nirvana. I had never had sex without a condom. I had no idea this was what all the fuss was about. Holy hell, I wanted that again.

“Let me wash you,” I told her, stepping back.

She immediately looked down at her legs and then back up at me. A small smile touched her lips. “I feel kind of marked.”

I stopped reaching for the soap and stared at her. Had she really just said that? “If you like being marked then I’ll mark you any damn time you want me to,” I told her before taking the soap. “Turn around. I’ll start with your back,” I instructed.