Expansion sites were always the most annoying projects. We had to deal with the community’s initial resistance, protests from the small family-owned bakeries, and local papers crying about how “another big bad corporation was putting ‘Mom and Pop’ stores out of business.” But Autumn Wonder always won in the end. Always.
“Got a minute?” Barry took a seat across from me. “I’ve got you a checkbook with your fake name, all the necessary IDs, and two credit cards. Whatever you do, make sure you’re as discreet as possible. Don’t ask the staff too many questions and don’t talk too much. Oh, and Fortune is meeting you down there within two weeks for a quick photo shoot and interview.”
“Wait. What exactly will I be doing again? I’ll be in the regional office, right?”
“Do you ever listen in board meetings? Like, ever?” he sighed. “You’re going to be a coffee barista.”
“For six weeks! Is this some type of joke?”
“Not at all,” he laughed. “You know what? While you’re down there, why don’t you try dating a few women without your checklist?”
“Why? Is my checklist that bad?”
“It’s terrible! Just because a woman passes all your pointless tests that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be together forever. Remember Darcy?”
I didn’t want to acknowledge that Darcy, my first serious girlfriend, ever existed. She hurt my feelings so badly when she dumped me that I almost screwed up Autumn Wonder’s first overseas store.
She and I were so perfect together, so in sync, or so I thought.
We enjoyed the same activities, the same music, the same everything. I loved lavishing her with trips and gifts, surprising her with well-thought out dates, and taking her on exotic vacations all over the world. We never mentioned “love,” but I knew that love couldn’t be any better than what we shared.
One day, while we were hiking our favorite trail, she sat me down on a rock that overlooked the city and dumped me.
Out of nowhere. Out of the blue.
Five minutes after we discussed going to Mexico together. Just like that.
She said I wasn’t the guy for her, that she needed “space,” and that she wished me the best in life. And that was it.
I tried to get her to clarify for weeks, but her answers were always the same: “It’s not you, it’s me,” “I need space,” “We need to grow separately.”
Even though I was hurt, secretly-crying-in-my-office-hurt, I tried to be “just friends” with her—hoping she would take me back one day, but that never happened: She sent me an invitation to her engagement party six months later.
“I don’t know who Darcy is,” I sighed.
Barry rolled his eyes. “My point is, you didn’t need a checklist to find her and you two were great together. If you try to date without it again, you might find someone better.”
“Fine. I’ll try it,” I downed my glass of scotch. “And I’ll be bringing a new CFO with me when I get back.”
I landed in Fayetteville at four in the morning. I quickly unloaded my motorcycle and sped off towards Autumn Wonder.
Since it was one of our newer locations, it had an outdoor patio with live greenery, a truffle brown awning over its double doors, and sleek black windows with computer technology that simulated orange, brown, and red leaves falling.
“Ethan Reynolds! You’re here on time!” a blonde-haired woman jumped up and down and clapped as I walked in. “I can already tell you have employee of the month potential!”
It’s way too early for this…
“Good morning,” I yawned.
“Good morning to you too! Come on and follow me to the back okay?”
I followed her into the state of the art kitchen, through the two tiered bakery area, and into a small corner office.
“My name is Lola and I’m excited that you’re a part of the team!” she clapped. “Autumn Wonder only hires the best so I’m sure your application was phenomenal! But, before we can start your training, we need to get a few things out of the way! What do you know about coffee?”
That you’ve definitely had too much to drink this morning…
“What do you mean?”
“How much do you know about coffee? Do you know the intricacies of different coffee beans, grinding, or beverage preparation?”
“Um…”
“It’s okay if you don’t know anything!” she smiled. “As your manager, I am here to help you grow from a helpless sack of grounds into a knowledgeable cup of well-brewed coffee!”
Oh my god…
She stood up and pressed play on a DVD player. “I’ve created my own video about the importance of knowing coffee. It’s really great! After you watch this, I’m going to give you a thorough tour of your new home away from home and get you trained on some of the basics! Okay?”
She didn’t wait for my response. She slipped out of the room and left me to watch her video—a collection of short scenes that featured her playing with brown paper bag puppets named Mr. and Mrs. Coffee Bean.