Chapter 82
West
Jax enters the small room wearing a shit-eating grin. Since I walked out of the cage with my defeat set in stone, the kid’s become my new best friend. He tosses another gallon bag of ice to John. “Haley’s about to kick some ass if we don’t let her in soon. How’re you holding up?”
Sitting in a chair, I’m down to my briefs and John’s adamant his granddaughter isn’t witnessing me exposed. John’s wrapped two bags of ice on my shoulder where something popped out, then repopped back into place during the fight. I hold a bag to my eye, and he sets another one on the knuckles of my right hand. “I’m fine.”
“Remarkably, you are,” says John. “But I can’t start training you again until you heal. This swelling needs to go down.”
I rub my jaw, then work it around. There’s not a spot on my body that isn’t pounding and the shock of John’s statement is enough to numb the pain for a second. “Training?”
“Payment due on the first of the month and you’re required to practice at least five days a week.”
“Bullshit,” coughs Jax. “He requires seven.”
John checks the bag of ice on my shoulder. “You’re not tapping out after your first fight, are you?”
It hurts to smile. “No, I’m not.”
“Good.”
A knock on the door sends Jax into a laughing fit. “I told you, Hays, you aren’t seeing him until he’s got...” Jax swings the door open and the words fade away.
He scratches the back of his neck and chances a glimpse at me. “It’s some guy claiming to be your dad.”
Denny or Dad? The thought floats before I can stop it. I nod and the door widens to reveal my father. He’s out of place in a pair of jeans and a collared polo shirt.
“Come on, Jax.” John stands. “Let’s go keep Haley from starting a brawl.”
The door shuts with a loud click and the only sound in the room is the ice shifting in the bags. I pop my neck to the side, finding myself too damned tired for a screaming match. “Whatever it is, can we argue about it later?”
Dad slips into a seat across from me. An hour ago, John sat in that same chair and offered me more fatherly advice than my own supposed father had my entire life. “I told your mother you’re still alive.”
“Thanks.”
“Call her. She’ll want to hear your voice.”
“I will.” I stretch my shoulder and wince. “Mind keeping me on your insurance for a little longer?”
Dad’s face moves up as he smiles and I raise my eyebrows in response. What the hell?
“You’re good at this,” he says. “It was awful watching it, but at the same time, I smacked the guy next to me and told him you’re my son.”
I chuckle, because I got nothing to say. I take it back. I do know what to say. “Did you always know I wasn’t yours?”
The smile slips off his face and I sort of regret my choice of words, yet, I don’t. This conversation needs to be had and there’s never going to be an appropriate time or place.
“Yes. Colleen had been sick for a long time and let’s just say there was a breakdown in communication between me and your mother and I’m aware how babies are made.”
I nod, the truth not making me feel much better. “Why did you stay with her? She cheated.”
“I loved her. Denny loved her first and I stole her away from him and then when things got rough I abandoned her and Colleen. She needed comfort, and when I didn’t give it, she ran to arms that were still open.”
F*ck. I toss the bag I’d been holding to my eye into the trash. “You’re real live and let live about this.”
“I love her, West. She loves me. When you feel like that about someone, you find ways to make it work.”
My heart aches—Haley. Was what I did to her different?
“You say you love her, but you wanted me to break up with Haley. You told me to trust you, that a girl would be my worst downfall. Is that how you see Mom? Do you really love her or has it all been a show this entire time?”
My dad ages ten years with each second that passes. He appears smaller, grayer and weary. “I loved your mother from the first time she poured a beer over my head because she’d heard my type of lines before.”
My eyes widen and my lips twitch up and down. My mother poured a beer over Dad’s head? My father used pickup lines on my mother? Who the f*ck are these people and part of me is loving every second. Watching my reaction, Dad’s mouth tilts up. “I think you can understand why your grandparents were less than thrilled with me.”
Dad’s parents are picture-perfect conservative and stuck-up. “Then why did you push me so hard on Haley?”
The happiness vanishes. “Because the road with your mother was difficult. From the moment we met, nothing was easy. Life threw everything it could at us and sometimes we won and other times we failed. But through it all, never doubt that I loved her and never doubt that she loved me. While that’s true, my choice to be with your mother, her choice to be with me—it made life complicated and we suffered because of it. You have to understand, West, that when it comes to your children...you don’t want hard. You don’t want to see them hurt.”
I readjust the ice bag on my shoulder, acting as if it’s slipping, but I really need a break from the intense. There’s a sadness within me and this happiness that has got me all screwed up. My parents love each other and that’s...that’s something to hold on to, but to know they’ve experienced pain, too... It somehow makes them human.
Dad leans forward and rests his combined hands in the gap between his knees. “What I said is true. You may not share my blood, but you are me through and through. Not just the stuff that drives me up a damn wall, but the stuff that makes you, you. Your sense of humor, your tenacity, how you love your family.”
Dad lowers his head and I wipe at my eyes. I’m tired. It’s why I’m emotional, but somewhere deep inside the young kid that followed this man around like he was a god rejoices.
There’s an edge in his voice, a brokenness that doesn’t belong to a man who owns the world. “You may not want it, but you’re my son. You have always been my son. You will always be my son and I love you.”
I want to say I love him back, but there are still parts of me that need to heal—internal parts—unseen hurts that need space and air. “I can’t come home. Not yet.” If ever.
“I know. I knew it the moment you threw your first punch in that cage. You’ve found something, a direction, a path I’m not allowed on, but let me at least be a spectator. Give me the chance to meet you at the finish line.”
My own voice cracks. “Okay.”
“Okay. And so you know, I’m not abandoning you. Your room’s still yours. So’s your car and credit cards. I’ll still give Haley the scholarship.”
“I’ve got to do this on my own. The temptations you’re scared about me returning to... They belong to the world at home. I’m a boy there and here...”
“You’re a man.” Dad squeezes the only nonbruised part of my body and repeats, “You’re a man.”
“Did it bother you?” I ask. “That I ended up working with Denny?” A pause. “That I’ll still be working with Denny.”
“Yes,” he answers quickly. “It does. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my son. Not his, but I understand your need to know him. Just...just at least consider offering me the same chance that you’re giving him.”
I nod, but he knows it’s not really an answer. It’s something I’ll need to think about. Dad stands and I can’t let him walk away like this. “Tell Mom I’ll be there for family dinners.”
The small smile on his face tells me I nailed the first board into that bridge the two of us are trying to rebuild. “She’ll like that. I’m proud of you, son.”
With a shut door, I find myself alone. I sigh and rub my hand over my head. Six months ago, I thought I owned the world, but I really owned nothing. Now, in the eyes of the world, I’ve lost everything...
“West?”
My head snaps up and my heart stutters. I’ve lost absolutely nothing of any value. My lips slant up and, out of respect for her grandfather, I grab a towel and stick it over my lap.
Haley’s laughter tickles over my skin. She tilts her head and that sexy, silky hair tumbles over her shoulder. “You’re letting John get to you.”
I wave at my body. “I’m not in the position to be taking on any more fights.”
Her hips sway as she strolls over to me. “Don’t worry. I have your back.”
I crave for her to curl her body over mine, but instead she drags the chair Dad abandoned moments ago next to me. She sits in it and laces our fingers together. “I should kick your ass for what you did.”
I chuckle. “Which particular event would the ass kicking be for?”
“Any of it, but mainly that you broke up with me so I could go to school for free.”
Damn, Haley’s always been direct. “I wanted you to have a chance at a future. I couldn’t stand in the way of that. At least I thought I couldn’t. By the time I understood my mistake, you were gone.”
“I didn’t come back for you,” she says. “By taking the fight you sped up my timeline, but I came back for me. You and everyone else were right—I had lost my fight and I wasn’t engaging. You tapped out on me, but I tapped out, too.”
“It won’t happen again,” I say. “Me tapping out. I learned my lesson.”
“Me, too,” she responds.
I think about her words. That there could be another meaning. “If this is you trying to let me down easy, then be warned I plan on fighting for you.”
Haley smiles and I like that her eyes lighten with it. “I’m not going anywhere, Young.”
“We have a lot to talk about.” Exhausted, my head settles back against the wall.
I want to know what helped change her mind and where she’s going to be living now that she’s home. I need to tell her about my dad, my biological dad, about her tuition to college, a ton of things, but I’m too damned tired.
“We can talk about whatever you want later.” Haley rests her head on my shoulder. “Right now, I’m focusing on the whole happy you’re alive. You scared the hell out of me when I first arrived. You weren’t focused and Matt was pounding you to pieces.”
“I was focused.” I focused when I heard her beautiful voice. I turn my head, nuzzle my nose into her hair and inhale her sweet fragrance. She’s here. She’s honest to God here. “You mean everything to me, Haley.”
“I love you,” she whispers as her fingers squeeze mine. After a second, she rocks our joined hands. “Sometimes, after a fight, I wanted silence. Just time to clear my head.”
Silence. I exhale. Silence would be nice. “Will you stay with me?”
“For as long as you want me.”
“Then be prepared to stay for a long time.” I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation of Haley’s fingers tracing my arm.