Kaidan finally looked at me, but his expression was guarded. His hands were stuffed deep in his pockets. I tried to apologize with my eyes. I was more hurt for him than myself. I couldn’t believe he’d been forced to go through that. And he let it happen. He could have called me and told me Dad’s stupid hopes or let it slip to Marna. But he didn’t. Because he’d thought Dad was right.
I swallowed hard, blinking back more hot moisture from my eyes. With a hesitant motion Dad reached for my hand. I let him take it, feeling his thumb rasp over my knuckles. I knew he loved me, but his methods were killing me.
“Things are gonna change now. I won’t try to keep you two from communicating, but I will tell you this.” He looked back and forth between Kaidan and me. “You will only speak to each other and see each other when I tell you it’s safe. That is my one stipulation, and it must be met. We are in more danger now than ever before. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” we both said.
All that mattered was that at some point Kaidan and I would be able to talk and see each other. Maybe not often, but it was something. All we had to do in the meantime was survive.
As always, Dad was thinking about our survival, too. He pointed at Kaidan.
“I’ve been watching you. I’ve probably had my eye on you more than your own father this past year.” Kaidan met his eyes. “I’ll tell you exactly what I tell Anna. You’ve got to at least appear to be working. You can’t sit at home. Get yourself out to the parties and bars three or four nights a week. Do not get comfortable. Work if you have to. Anna will understand. Won’t you, Anna?” he asked me pointedly.
“Yes,” I said with a sour taste in my mouth. “I’ve already told him that.”
“Can you keep up appearances, kid?”
Kaidan responded with no enthusiasm. “Yes, sir.”
“Same with you, gal,” he said now, turning to me. “We’ve got to get you enrolled in a college and I expect you to jump right in and make a name for yourself. And when you feel like slacking, remember what happened to Flynn.” My eyes dropped to the floor. “Don’t let his death be in vain. Let it always be a warning. Got that?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Good. In the meantime we’re still building our ally list. I’m looking into the son of Shax right now. Not sure about him yet, but he’d be a great asset.”
Shax. The Duke of Theft.
Dad stood. “I’ll let you two say your good-byes. You have one hour and then I’ll be back to take you to the airport.” He kissed my forehead, then walked to Kaidan, who kept his head down. Dad put his hand on Kai’s shoulder and squeezed until Kai looked up at him. “You’re not a bad kid. I see that now. You’ll make a good ally.” He gave Kaidan’s shoulder a hard pat and left the apartment.
We stood there in an awkward silence, and then I went to him, taking his fingertips in mine. His eyes were downcast. I didn’t think either of us was ready to talk just yet. Instead, I led him into the kitchen. I wanted to cook for him one last time.
He sat on a stool, watching me with the saddest expression, silent. His pain was a presence with me while I boiled pasta and heated spaghetti sauce. As it simmered I looked through his fridge and freezer.
“You’ll need fresh milk soon,” I told him. “And probably more eggs, too. Eggs are an easy thing you can make yourself. All these meals are labeled with cooking instructions. Remember how I showed you—”
“Anna.”
I kept staring in the fridge, not wanting to cry. Kaidan stood and pried my fingers from the handle and closed the door, turning me and wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest.
“I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through,” I said.
“Don’t worry about me. None of it’s your fault.”
“I should have known. Something felt wrong, but I never thought my dad—” I took a breath and swallowed hard.
“It will be different this time. We can manage.” He kissed the top of my head, not letting me go.
Life would be so much different now that we’d opened up, giving and receiving each other’s love. Nobody and nothing could take that away—not the Dukes or any distance that separated us. We had a secret knowledge that demons couldn’t fathom. They saw love as a weakness, but they were wrong. Love would keep us going. Love was our strength.
I felt shaky as I held him close and nurtured the sweet hope that had risen inside me.
The pasta timer went off and he released me, walking to the sink to peer out the window.
I sighed and went to the stove. We only had forty more minutes together and I wanted our last moments to be good ones.
“Hungry?” I asked.
He turned with a small smile. “Do you really need to ask?”
I fixed us plates and we managed to twine our fingers together and twirl spaghetti one-handed. Afterward I took a superfast shower, not wanting to be away from him any longer than necessary. For the remaining time we lay on the couch together, staring, touching, memorizing.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I’ve loved you longer,” he said.
A pleasant tingle spread over my skin. I pulled back in surprise, feeling my eyebrows come together.
He chuckled and linked our fingers. “It’s true.”