I have no idea how long we continued to stare at each other, searching for meaning, before he stood up and moved away from me. He felt for his phone in his pocket and spoke to me as he was getting on his shoes and heading for the door.
“I need to clear my head. Patti called while you were in the convent and I told her about Sister Ruth. Call her on the room phone and I’ll pay the charge.” The door shut behind him and I sat there stunned.
Sister Ruth gave me a weapon. I didn’t know what to do with a sword! Was I expected to kill demons? If only I’d come to L.A. sooner so I could speak with her.
I called Patti with the intention of telling her everything about the visit with my father and what Sister Ruth left me, and then I remembered how careful the nun had been with the information. She would tell me only in person. So I told Patti all went well and I’d give her every detail when I got home. The phone felt unsafe.
“You sound exhausted, honey,” Patti said when I was finished. “Why don’t you go get some rest. We can talk more tomorrow, ’kay?”
I was worn out when we hung up. As I climbed into bed I wondered what Kaidan was doing and who he might be calling, not that it was any of my business. But I was worried about him. I thought about trying to listen for him, but if he wanted privacy he would be more than a mile away by now. Kaidan didn’t come back to the room until after I’d been in bed awhile, half in and half out of sleep.
I tossed and turned all night, even crying out and waking myself once with a dream I couldn’t recall. Kaidan lay still all night in his own bed. I never did hear his deep-sleep breathing.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
UNACCOMPANIED MINOR
I must have finally dozed off, only to be awoken by a screeching buzz. I sat straight up. It was four thirty in the morning. Kaidan hit the alarm.
“We need to get an early start,” he said, sounding wide-awake and just as forlorn as last night.
“Oh. Uh, m’kay.”
It was still dark out as we sped down the interstate. Despite a hot shower, I was still sleepy. The city was calm at this early hour on a Sunday morning. There were hardly any cars on the road. We passed a sign for LAX, which bothered me, because we hadn’t passed the airport on our way into the city.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
He cleared his throat and said without kindness, “You’re going home today.”
My jaw dropped.
“Everything’s been arranged,” he said. “Patti will be waiting for you when your flight arrives in Atlanta.”
There it was again—rejection punching me in the stomach.
“Why?” I forced out.
His voice was soft, but still held that serious edge. “Things have gotten too complicated.”
“Do you mean because of the sword, or is it me?” I asked.
“It’s you.” What had I done, besides care for him? This was unfair!
“Is it so unbearable to be around someone who cares for you?” I asked.
“I’d say that you’re feeling a bit more than ‘care’ for me, Anna.” He was getting snippy now, gripping the steering wheel. “I could see your emotion popping around you like pink bubble gum last night.”
“So what?!” I was fully awake and working up the volume now. “I haven’t tried to say it to you. I’m sorry that I lost focus for a second and let you see it!”
He took the airport exit, speaking to me with maddening calmness bordering on coldness. “Don’t be dramatic about this.”
“You don’t call this dramatic? Abandoning me at the airport before daylight?”
“I’ll see that you’re in safe hands before I leave.” His calm demeanor unnerved me.
“Don’t bother,” I spit. I could see now how people said hurtful things to the ones they loved out of anger. In my mind I ran through all of the cutting things I could say to him.
He pulled up to a departure curb and put the car in park.
Just as quickly as my anger had come, it was now replaced by sadness.
“I’ve never even been on a plane,” I said, grasping at straws.
“You will be fine.”
“I want to stay with you.” Desperation.
“You can’t,” he said in zombie mode. “Your father was right. You should get home as soon as possible. I don’t trust myself with you.”
“Don’t trust yourself? Or don’t trust me?”
He stared straight ahead as we sat there. I grabbed the fabric at his shoulder and tugged. “Answer me!”
He turned his face, and as our eyes met his calm facade cracked, unleashing his anger and fears.
“I don’t trust either of us! We can’t be together in any capacity ever again. It’s a damn-near miracle you’re still a virgin now. If that Sword of Righteousness is intended for you to use, then you should want to stay away from me, too, because I promise I could not resist if you told me to pull the car into the parking garage right now.” He leaned closer. “Could you resist a drug if I repeatedly placed it on the tip of your tongue, Ann? Could you? We’re playing with fire!”
He looked beyond me to the airport, breathing hard.
“So, what are you going to do now?” I asked him. “Go back to doing your father’s work and pretend you never knew me?”