“Good,” Kaidan whispered. “Now.”
Anger surged inside me and I channeled it into a spiraling baseball. I swung and batted the emotion away. It was a home run. And it felt good.
The anger toward Scott still lived somewhere inside me. I wasn’t making my emotions disappear. They were simply being hidden from the part of my brain that would display them.
I spent an hour practicing as Kaidan prompted me through emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, anxiousness.
“This is almost too easy for you, isn’t it?” Kaidan said, leaning a little closer. “I’m very impressed.” He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, and my heart gave a rapid series of bangs.
Ignore it. Deflect it. Oh, crap, this is harder than the other feelings.
“You know, for the record, Anna, I won’t think any less of you if you change your mind about doing the things my father expects.”
I froze as his hand went around my ankle and up my calf, now shaved, moving upward until his fingers gave a tantalizing brush against the back of my knee. His eyes watched me as he spoke, and my breathing went quick and shallow.
“It’s just you and me out here right now, Anna. I felt you come alive when we kissed, and I know you’re afraid of that. Afraid to unleash that other side of yourself. But you needn’t worry. I can handle her.”
A tingle shot through me. For a moment my thoughts were too distracted to grasp the feeling in my mind.
His hot hand made its way up the back of my leg and I grabbed his wrist. I forced myself to take even breaths and wrap my mental hands around this lust for him. He leaned closer. I could feel his breath against my face and I knew he could feel mine.
The look Kaidan gave me was expectant, rather than seductive. He kept stealing glances at my chest. His hand was still on the back of my thigh, a thumb caressing the sensitive skin there.
I shook my head and grabbed the oncoming lust and longing, compacting it into a red-and-black soccer ball and kicking it into the net. Goal!
“No,” I told Kaidan.
He pulled his hand away and leaned back from me.
“Sorry, I had to play dirty. Some people work better under pressure. Now, if you don’t mind, I should probably walk it off.”
He jumped down from the boulder, landing on his feet, and I watched as he walked around the giant rocks and dirt, kicking stones and doing a series of arm and neck stretches. Five minutes later he came back to me. His voice was quiet.
“Come on,” he said, reaching out for my hand.
And as I let him help me down, I knew for a fact that even though he’d only been putting on a show to test my new skill, if I had said yes, he wouldn’t have hesitated to take me up on it. I was silent the entire walk to the hotel.
After our run and lesson, I sat cross-legged on the bed, flipping through local channels on the television while Kaidan showered. When he came out, his hair was darkened by the water, and he was shirtless. His baggy shorts hung low, revealing the top of boxer briefs. It was a good opportunity to practice hiding my emotions. I pushed them away and forced my ogling eyes back to the TV screen.
He leaned down and pulled a henley shirt from his bag. Once he was dressed, he ran a hand through his wet hair and cleared his throat.
“Right, then. I’ll just, um, be out for a bit.”
He was going out again? I hid my emotions, but I was sure the hurt was plain on my face by the way he looked away from me, shaking his head. I turned off the television and looked at him.
“Don’t go.” I wished I could snatch the words from the air and shove them back in my mouth.
“I have to work, Anna. Either out there or in here.”
He stared at me in challenge, and I was caught inside that stormy look again.
“It wouldn’t kill you to take a night off.”
“Is that so?” He raised his voice now, and balled his hands into fists. “Says the little doll who’s never had to work a day in her life?”
I should have just shut my mouth, but of course I couldn’t.
“It’s not like demons are monitoring your behavior,” I said.
He closed his eyes and held an index finger up at me. “Don’t push me, Anna. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” There was a simmering undertone in his voice, as he seemed to battle down a torrent of emotion. I kept going, feeling reckless as I raised my voice.
“You can make it one night without sex! Can’t you just—”
A splintering crash made me scream and jump backward on the bed. With the swipe of an angry arm, Kaidan had sent a glass lamp flying off the dresser, where it bashed against the wall. He pointed at me, eyes blazing.
“You. Don’t. Understand!”
I held my breath and didn’t move. I’d never seen anyone so mad, especially not at me.