“Just a bit.”
I tried to imagine Kaidan’s house with Dukes, Neph, and humans all together. I hoped there would be enough distractions to get us in and out fast. I was glad I’d be seeing the other Neph again. Well, mostly. Thinking of Kopano sent a fluttery jolt of nervousness through my system, and questions about the history between Ginger and Kaidan still bothered me.
“Kaidan, can I ask you something? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.” He shot me an inquisitive glance, and I barreled on. “What happened between you and Ginger?”
He made an unpleasant och noise and rubbed the back of his neck as he thought.
“I don’t know. We spent a lot of time together during childhood. We were close until I turned thirteen.”
“Close?” My mouth was suddenly dry. “I always imagined you being alone.”
He shook his head, face tight. “It was always Ginger and me.”
“Oh.” Well, that changed things. A new vision formed in my mind. I knew it was selfish, but I didn’t want to think about him having a close childhood bond with her.
Kaidan began with reservation, as if words were being siphoned from him against his will.
“It’s beyond strange to even think about it. It was a different lifetime.” He paused for so long I thought he was closing the conversation.
“You can tell me,” I whispered.
He grumbled at my therapist voice, and then the floodgates opened, and he let it all out.
“As much as I hate to admit it, she and I are a lot alike. We both understood very early what would be expected of us, before the others did, and it made us curious. We sort of experimented together, nothing serious, just kid stuff. Her nanny caught us when I was eight and Ginger was nine. The woman told our fathers and naturally they thought it was bloody amusing. My father was sent to Italy for one year while I was twelve. The twins were turning thirteen, so that was the year they started working. When I came back to England, Ginger was changed, like a completely different person. She was hardened and critical, and viciously protective of Marna. It was a sign of things to come for me. It was never the same after that. I found it easier not to talk to her or anyone else.”
He’d cut her off. He was good at that. But to have it happen as a child would have been even more traumatic.
“Maybe she thought of herself as your girlfriend,” I said.
“I couldn’t worry about that. Things were changing for me at that time. I couldn’t think about Ginger or being a child anymore. There was no looking back. Blake started hanging with us the following year, and he was all about Ginger from the start. She’s always enjoyed the attention. One night when we were all working a party outside of London, Blake hooked up with this girl, and he was snogging her right there. Out of nowhere, Ginger started coming on to me.”
“She was trying to make him jealous?”
“That’s what I think. At that point I was sixteen, and I mostly hooked up with strangers who I could avoid seeing again, but it’s not like I’d be able to avoid Ginger the rest of my life. Our history made things uncomfortable enough as it was. I guess she figured I hooked up casually all the time, so it wouldn’t be a big deal for me. It was quite the ugly scene when I told her to go find some other bloke if she was feeling randy. It’s been brutal ever since. And then there’s the issue of Blake’s freakout.”
I leaned toward him over the armrest, captivated. “Was that the one time you said he got jealous over a girl?”
Kaidan nodded. “He’d witnessed our whole conversation. Dropped the girl he was snogging and threw a wobbler, yelling and breaking things.”
I couldn’t imagine Blake on an envy rampage, yelling and breaking things. There had to be so many hidden emotions under the surface of these stories.
“I think she still has feelings for you,” I said.
“No. I think she’s pissed off about her life and she misses being close to someone she considers her equal. Marna is more like her bear cub.”
Emotions rolled through me and I pushed them down.
“You’re upset I didn’t tell you, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Kind of.” There was no use denying it.
“It was forever ago.”
“But we’re shaped by the things that happen to us as children. She’s still hurting from it. Don’t you miss her, too? As a friend, at least?”
“This is the first time I’ve thought about her in ages, and it’s only because you asked me. Do you remember what I told you about the twins and their father, Astaroth?” he asked. “About how they can sense romantic bonds between people?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s why I hit the booze that night when we were all together this summer. I didn’t want them to know there was anything there. I didn’t want to have to explain anything or listen to their rubbish.”