He sounded desperate, but she wasn’t going to trust him again easily.
“I’ve wanted you from the first second I saw you,” he told her. “Night before last, when I came over, and you let me come in, I needed you more than I needed air. Afterward I thought I would be free of you. That’s what I meant. That we could go back to being friends.”
“Oh, sure. Because I want to be friends with someone who assumes sleeping with me once is a lifetime cure.”
He fell back in the chair. “I’m saying this all wrong again, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much.” But she was beginning to understand his twisted male logic. Unfortunately it confirmed everything she’d been afraid of. She wanted love with all its complications and Shane wanted safe. Not a good combination.
“You assumed that being with me couldn’t possibly be as good as it was in your mind,” she continued. “Because you’re fantasizing about something that doesn’t exist. Like being with a movie star.”
He nodded slowly. “Maybe,” he admitted, sounding both cautious and wary.
“So when we were done, you felt you’d lived the fantasy and now you could return to your regular life.”
“Something like that.”
“So walking out right after had nothing to do with me at all.”
He shifted in his chair.
She smiled. “I mean you weren’t thinking about me. It wasn’t personal. You weren’t leaving me, you were dashing toward potential freedom.”
“Yes. I thought I was over you.”
“But you’re not?”
The question popped out without her considering what she’d just put on the table. And once out, the words hung there in the small room.
Shane straightened. “I’m not. I want to be, Annabelle. I won’t lie. But maybe I should simply accept reality. You’re someone who will always have the ability to get my attention when you walk in a room. That doesn’t excuse what I said or how I acted and I’m sorry.”
For the first time in a long time, a man had left her speechless and not in a bad way. He was admitting that there was chemistry and he couldn’t control the fact that he wanted her. It was kind of a nice thing to hear. On the downside, it put her firmly back in the category of his ex-wife. She would forever be the kind of woman he wouldn’t or couldn’t trust.
Obviously an intelligent woman would choose this moment to end things.
“I accept your apology,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“I’m sorry you’re so obsessed with me.”
He grinned. “No, you’re not. But I’ll deal with it. I like your idea of being friends. Can we go back to that or is there too much damage?”
She would rather stay lovers. Being with him had been amazing. Two days later, she was still enjoying aftershocks. But they wanted different things. Different endings after an amazing night together. Friends might not be sexy, but it prevented her from once again wasting herself on someone who didn’t understand who she really was or want what she did.
“We can be friends,” she told him. “Did you mean what you said before? About looking for someone quiet?”
“Sure. Boring sounds good. I don’t like the drama, but I seem stuck with it.”
“I’m not dramatic.”
“You were dancing on a bar.”
“I wasn’t drunk,” she said primly. “I was demonstrating the dance of the happy virgin.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you were. Face it, Annabelle. You’re one of those women destined to drive men wild. Accept your destiny.”
His words made her feel like some kind of sexual goddess, which was impressive considering she’d grown up believing no one would ever care about her. Not that sex was caring, but at least it was sort of in the same family. Or it could be.
Lewis had used sex to make her feel small. He complained if she didn’t want to make love and when she did, he told her she wasn’t a lady. Most of the time he hadn’t cared about her pleasure, and every once in a while he “allowed” her to have an orgasm.
Until him, she’d enjoyed the few lovers she’d had, even if the guys had been lousy at relationships. But Lewis had been the first man to claim he loved her. So she took the good with the bad and hoped the relationship would improve. Over the years, she’d realized that she wanted, no, needed more than someone who made her feel smaller than she was. So she’d walked away from him. He’d vowed she wouldn’t see a penny from him and she’d been fine with that. She’d taken her clothes and whatever personal belongings could fit in her car. That had been plenty.
She looked at Shane. She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t anyone’s idea of a goddess, except maybe his. It was nice to know she could move him in that way. In bed, he’d been a caring, giving lover, healing several of the wounds her ex-husband had left behind. They might never be romantically involved, but she appreciated what had happened between them.
“I’d like to be friends again,” she told him.
“Good. Me, too.”
“I’ll call off the town.”
Summer Nights (Fool's Gold #8)
Susan Mallery's books
- A Christmas Bride
- Just One Kiss
- Chasing Perfect (Fool's Gold #1)
- Almost Perfect (Fool's Gold #2)
- Sister of the Bride (Fool's Gold #2.5)
- Finding Perfect (Fool's Gold #3)
- Only Mine (Fool's Gold #4)
- Only Yours (Fool's Gold #5)
- Only His (Fool's Gold #6)
- Only Us (Fool's Gold #6.1)
- Almost Summer (Fool's Gold #6.2)