Chapter 20
"You need to see a doctor." His breath brushes over my neck. I open my eyes slowly to see him kneeling next to the couch, concerning covering his expression.
"Why?" The word leaves my lips in barely more than a whisper. After spending two nights in Mrs. Adam's guest room I was back home. Being away from Jax was pure torture. I must have drifted into sleep while I was waiting for him.
"You're sick." His voice cracks. "I've been so scared for weeks."
"Scared?" I reach to cradle his cheek in my hand. "Of what?"
"There's barely anything left to you." His hand runs down my side. "You're so pale. You sleep so much."
"It's been so stressful, Jax." It has been. He can't understand how hard it's been trying to manage everything with Mark's estate and his feelings too.
"I wanted to believe it was just stress." He shuts his eyes tightly before he opens them again. I see the moisture gathering at the corners. "I've been so scared that if I took you to the doctor he'd tell me I was going to lose you."
"That's silly." I run my hand along his tie. "I'm fine."
"Ivy." He pulls my hand to his lips, skirting it across them. "Something isn't right."
"You've changed." I blurt the words out without any emotion. "You're not the same anymore and that's so hard. It's too much for me."
"I'm me." He leans forward to graze his lips across my cheek. "I'm still me."
"You were out with a woman." I bite my bottom lip to temper what I want to say. "You said she'd sleep with you if you asked."
"I was drunk," he whispers the words into my hair. "I was out with a woman I went to high school with and her husband."
"You hurt me when you came home."
"What? I hurt you?" He reaches to hug me, pulling me closer into him. "How? Ivy. Tell me."
I know I'm going to cry. Everything that has built up the past few weeks is being pushed down into me. I have to let it out. "Your words. We don't talk about f*cking other people. We just don't."
"Tell me you know I wouldn’t do that." His tone is pleading. "Tell me you knew I was f*cked up and drunk."
"Did you f*ck her in high school?" The question feels as though I've pulled it from left field.
He shakes his head as if he's trying to register it. "No. Gosh, no."
"Then why would you say that?" I pull on the lapel of his suit jacket. "Why?"
"To hurt you." The confession is quiet and simple. "You've been so wrapped up in Mark's death. I was being petty and childish."
I stare at his face, wanting to find a concrete answer to all the questions I have. "Something is going on with you. Something isn't right."
"I don't want to run that company." He spits the words into the air as if they're vile and tainted. "I can't go back to that."
"You were making an offer on the shares you thought I inherited." I push for understanding. I need it. I can't deal with this aching gap that has developed between us.
"When you fell in love with me I was Jax Walker, business man." I smile at the words. I did fall in love with him but it had nothing to do with his career choice.
"I don't care what you do." I take a pause before I continue," I just don’t want you to work for me."
"I loved being at the shop every day." A small smile pulls on his lips. "Spending that much time with you was the best. I wish I could do that every day for the rest of my life."
"You can," I whisper. "You can do whatever you want. I just want you to be happy. We can spend all the time together your want."
"Making love to you now would make me happy but only if you have the energy."
I push past him and leap to my feet, pulling my dress over my head. "I'll race you to the bed." I scream as he charges behind me pulling me into his arms.
***
"I would have given you the shares if you would have asked." I run my finger down his chest. It's covered in the light mist of sweat from our lovemaking. "Anything I have is yours. I thought you knew that."
"Everything but that jewelry store I gave you." He pinches my side and I scream out in delight.
"We've been over that. You follow the customers around and then get angry with them when they leave without buying a piece."
"Here's the thing, beautiful." He pulls my leg over his torso so he can rest his hand on my ass. "You're the most amazing jewelry designer in the world. One day people are going to pay thousands of dollars to own one of your designs. The people who walk out of the shop now are missing the big picture. I'm just trying to explain it to them."
I roll my head back in laughter at his words. "Not everyone in the world thinks I'm as great as you do. You know that, don't you?"
"They're idiots." He shakes his head. "How could anyone in their right mind not realize how gifted you are? It makes no sense to me."
"I love that you think I'm special." Even I hear my own words and realize how grossly understated he's going to think they are.
"Special?" He jumps to his knees, pushing me back into the bed sheets. "You're the breath to my life, Ivy. You are the reason I get out of bed every single day. You are my world."
My heart leaps at his words. This is the closest I've felt to Jax in so long.
"You're my world too." I pull my arms over my head and look into his eyes. "I can't be without you. That's not an option for me anymore."
"You'll never have to be." He leans down, his large body hovering over mine. "I'll never let that happen."